I've Lost Hope

I have been thinking about how to write this 'rant' for several days, but I didn't really understand what the problem is that caused my current malaise. I have been feeling, empty, passionless, angry and sad all at the same time. I don't like who I have become.

I am honestly to the point where I don't care anymore. I don't care who gets elected. If you guys want Hilary then great. You want Bernie or Trump? I literally don't care. It doesn't make any difference who 'wins'. None of the mainstream politicians represent me anyway.

I have been snapping at people on ATS and in my RL. I just don't feel hopeful anymore.

And then it hit me...I have a perfect analogy for how I feel. I feel like a wild animal in captivity. What is even more amazing is that there are people here on ATS and in my RL that just love been kept in their cage. They have become domesticated and embrace the zoo and love the zookeeper.

Why aren't you happy you might ask? We get free health care, we get fed each day and we get to live in a safe and reasonable facsimile of our natural environment.

The problem is it isn't enough. When we enslave zoo animals we understand deep down that there is something inherently wrong and that a wild animal needs to be free, but we are unable to apply that same logic to ourselves and other human beings. Maybe some of you have been 'domesticated' and truly enjoy being kept safe, fed and cared for by your keepers, but I feel empty, angry and resentful.

I try to manifest my basic feelings by railing against laws and authority. I don't like being told what to do and I don't accept the authority of our 'keepers'. I was born into this captivity, but I inherently know it isn't what I want.

Why would I want to live with risk and danger and roaming the plains wondering where my next meal is coming from? I might die or starve or be killed...why would I WANT this?!

My answer...I honestly don't know, but I know it was the way I was meant to live. Now when you see me speak up against your packaged ideologies or newest ideas for a perfect society...you now know how I really feel. Now you know why I am so angry and why I have lost hope.

I finally understand myself and now you do too.

a reply to: Metallicus

We all live on this great cage we call Earth, mate. The boundaries of its tiny atmosphere are the bars to our progression. We are all stuck on a insanely tiny world whose balance is so fragile.

Anytime now the world can be wiped out by more types of catastrophes than I can count. Asteroid, solar flare, exotic matter, climate change, you name it. The best we can do, as a specie, part of the biosphere, is to stick together and stop banging on each other's head.

We are not alone on this Earth - we need to smart up, and real fast.

I don't know what to say to help you, except that I am sorry you feel this way.
Maybe a big, big warm hug across the internet can make you feel a bit better?
You're not alone feeling this way.
Cheers

a reply to: Metallicus

I have noticed your attitude has been a little harsher and more agressive lately I think I understand were you are coming from.

Although we live in different countries I agree and have for several months now had a deep feeling of apethy and anger at the world we live in.

I have been secretly yearning for a return to a simpler although in reality much harsher existance, more back to basics as it were.

Unless I have misread your rant, It's getting late on a saturday night and I've had a few beers.

Either way I think we are both right.

a reply to: Metallicus



In all seriousness, hang in there. But that cat is pretty damned funny

i feel for you, we weren't to live like this,once we were hunter gatherers! the only thing that keeps me behaving and conforming is my loved ones otherwise i dont know.....

Well, it's still a bloody great big cage and we are actually free to roam many parts of it, if we chose. Why we don't choose is more a measure of a human condition of needing to live in a community. We are pack animals, but some prefer to live differently and will seek isolation, just like the animal kingdom.

We can be easily controlled this way and we are, massively.

I know how you feel. This society just doesn't fit me personally. I feel so limited and held down by all the rules and stipulations that come with such a world. I would much rather be somewhere in the Amazon living with one of those tribes. They have so much less to worry about and are so much more free than we are. I don't resent the world, but I do feel some kind of anger toward it. This isn't how it was meant to be.

Live and let live my friend, we create our on cages by labeling ourselves, we dont see eye to eye but im sure you and i could share a drink and find some common ground.

a reply to: Cobaltic1978
i agree wiht everything you say,however we are only allowed to roam outside the constrictions into another false "free" zone, we are slaves until we break with this mortal coil

a reply to: Metallicus

You're not alone and I spend lengths of time going through cycles of the same feelings.

If you haven't read this book it's worth the time. I can't say it will make you feel better, but it addresses precisely the idea that we're not meant to live this way. Ishmael en.wikipedia.org...(novel) by Daniel Quinn. He has a number of other books on the topic. I think anybody that believes in conspiracy would find the book to be an interesting take on things.

The movie Instinct also touched on some of the ideas. I thought it was a good movie. It might even be a good start on the topic before reading the book as it touches only a bit on the topics more deeply discussed in Ishmael.

Some people read it and think it's just a book, but based on your rant I think it would provide a much more profound impact for you.

a reply to: Metallicus

Words of Hope? I don't know if this will be that but will definitely give you the drive needed I hope.


Here it is:

Prepare For The Inevitable

Proverbs 22:3
A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Feel the cage ie quicksand, walking lead boots, but....I don't go down for long, and get direct guidance quickly.

In any case, just recently because I've been sick for a month, and sprained my rib from coughing even, just pretty depressed, but started thinking hmmmm....need some pick me up, so watched some Lilou Mace videos and her wonderful interviews, and turning negative into positive, and the fluttering healing vibrations started, and got some antibiotics, and there was this perfect timing starting to occur.

Started writing at night , so body, what are you telling me, what haven't i thought of yet?

And about other issues.

Woke up with some more directions, remembered dreams of stations and some kind of instruction.

And that isn't the point, its that Im not an animal, its a gift to be here, truly you wouldn't believe the gift at an opportunity to turn something around, OR to reach someone you love here, or your children/family.

Gratitude and uplifting frequency brings answers, direction, joy emerges again.

You're not stuck. Was shown yesterday that in truth, my soul is bigger than the universe, so anyone in it that is playing a bullying or bad guy role, like our world mismanagers here and their overlords in the cosmos, they're not to be feared, soul traps, nothing like that. You're bigger than all of this.

Anyone choosing not to grow awareness, consciousness, kindness, to learn and grow and understand, isn't equal to those growing beyond what is being taught here. Albeit a different definition of equality for all potentially are equal, but this is more about grades then. Making a breakthrough, trying to gain understanding, its always a plus.

Who were already students bigger than their micro schools, if you will.

Just open up the door or window and step outside and go OK, this is really not making me happy. Can't find the way and feel so trapped here. SOS! And keep that up for a time off and on.

It'll come.

a reply to: Metallicus

Good rant. I know that feel, bro. Around 16 is when I first realized I was in this "zoo" you speak of.

The way we are living isn't right. Plain and simple. We are the only thing on earth (expect arguably, beavers) that are quite literally at war with nature. Add to that, for the most part, we as a species have failed.

I sometimes have this fantasy where I wake to find myself in an alternate reality where the exact opposite is true. The people in this place, instead of tearing apart anything green, work to flourish it. Everything is beautiful garden, colors as far as the eye can see. And the trees? Man, don't even get me started!

The economy is a simple barter. Exchange your goods/skills/services for your neighbor's and vice versa.

I could go on describing my eutopia, maybe in a short story thread lol. My point is, IMHO, the reason so many of us feel this rage of negative emotion is because we are finally, and not to beat a dead horse or anything, "waking up".

Our society is broken. It broke a while ago... But we are just now realizing it

Love and good vibes to ya. Maybe it gets... Better?

a reply to: Metallicus

I've come to the realization that if we have to depend or rely on any politician from any political party to save us or help us, then we're screwed.

Maybe realizing that it doesn't matter who is in charge is a first step in understanding that you are in charge of your own future, fortune and destiny.

a reply to: Metallicus

I feel like a wild animal in captivity.

You and me both...brother.

Where or when would you be able or had been able to live where you would have not felt like a animal trapped in a cage?

Do taxes really make you an animal in a cage? To me that comparison would only be about people in prison, you know locked in a cage.

So I'm guessing you'll be moving to Somalia soon? It's pretty dangerous and chaotic there. Might just be your style.

a reply to: Metallicus

The clutches of society is that which makes us feel the urge to break free like a wild animal in a cage as you ascribed with.

There is always two sides to a story. Search for the kind of things you like to participate in order to bring about that change you desire. You'll be surprised, that there are people already working some alternative solutions out there.

It's a matter of thinking outside the cage.

Well, I hear you and feel for you... and have felt the same all my life.

Never gave permission to sign me up for the particular country I was born in, yet I got stamped with a social security number from birth, conditioned at schools to think a certain way, to adhere to certain values . Why aren't we born free? Why should I respect the authority that gave me that social security number? I call it slavery from birth.

Luckily, they cannot control your mind (yet) unless you submit and believe all the crap you are fed from birth, keep busy, do this, believe this or that. That is where I find my only solace as I watch this merry-go-around or zoo around me. Its a cold and soulless world, yet we are infinite in our possibilities and never made use of it, because the majority fell asleep listening to lullabies of past wasted lives.