posted on Jun, 27 2015 @ 02:45 AM
I am just a man, a hypocritical human being, that makes "your" average mistakes. I have been through the so called ringer, and just in need of
friends; those i meet, and those i haven't.
I am in the process of moving again, and the stress that follows is expected with anyone. I have close friends, most not. what I am trying to say is
that i need help, and all those times i have helped them move and pay part of their exspensives, where is this returned favor or karma? I am not
anywhere close to being a good man, but when i go out of my way for others, where is my retrobution of going out of my way for them?
I am all alone in Alaska with absolultely no family, nobody to turn to, and i am one not to depend on my state of federal government to take care of
me. I have been homeless, jailed, and reintroduced into the community because i value my life and those around me, because I've been there I have
been losing my mind at work for being under paid, and treated like a slave. I teach a labor how to do everything, from reading a tape, to using tools
in multiple ways, and because he is a "family friend" he is getting paid $5 more an hour, and because Im a "nobody" I am being taking advantage
of to teach him how to be as good, if not better, without praise.
So to continue with the rant: I work 20 hours more than my closest friends in construction, and make less than them, because i insist in honesty,
projects done right..... and unfortunately the way it really works in this world, people want cheap and fast work done, and genuine and the best work
done is a thing of the past. I go from making $20,000 to $150,000 a year here and there.
I make more money selling plant product and other sorts of flower power these days, I find that when i do everything that is unexsceptable in our
I really do feel worthless for doing the right thing. I do think now a days that if I cheat and misdirect people I make a gain, but refuse to be
apart of that crowd. ,...... and now im more behind from those that are dishonest. I dont know what to think anymore, but continue to give and treat
those around me with 100% truth, and its ruining my business and my relationships with clients.
much more to explain, but im sad, sober, broke, and have to work a 14 hour day tomrw, and start at 4:30 min the morning while my boss is complainging
why a house isnt built by 3 guys in one day, while sitting on a beach in Hawaii, saying this one mother &^%$#@Q is screwing me on one more drink
why do I comply to such slavery???
Because I have such a High IQ that wants the best for everyone, but if everyone had power, this world would be better.
work those # hours, and break you back so those in power can rule and keep us in the dark.
Sorry, just needed to get some weight of my chest. I want to join the rotton, and can. but my heart is too big to need money.....
I JUST WANT A HUG, AND TOLD IM A GOOD MAN....
please be polite, I am vunerable!!