do guys really want children ?

a reply to: projectvxn

congratulations that is so sweet...
did u plan for it? if yes ..what criteria did u and ur beautiful lady use to decide on the when exactly

a reply to: MimiSia

It wasn't a plan. Not that we went into it with no forethought, it was more of 'stop taking birth control' and see where things go.

She had been on it so long that it took almost a year before she finally got pregnant. We also knew that deployment was around the corner, essentially, and we didn't want to wait till I came back.

3 months after she was born I deployed to Afghanistan.

a reply to: MimiSia


The logic is I could not provide for children right now, in a time of life where I am still correcting previous mistakes.


ETA: I have the plan to have a stay at home wife as I think having a mother around is invaluable and unequaled in terms of importance and that part is not up for debate haha. So only thing left is to make enough to support both kids and spouse to have freedom and fun with life.

originally posted by: MimiSia
a reply to: cody599

did you pass on your artistic talent?

LOL

My son was blown away when I photo shopped his surfing pictures so I guess not.

They have the need for speed gene though, they both love racing anything Much to their mother's consternation and my pride. I'm hoping my girl will find a way to take the old man up when she finishes her F16 training and I can't wait to race the boy on track again. They were both kinda surprised at this old dude's tenacity

The day will come when they will beat me

But not yet

Cody

a reply to: MimiSia

My husband wanted one more than I did. I'm glad he talked me into it.

a reply to: projectvxn

I honestly admire you both so much
It must have been difficult for both of you being apart. I keep photos of families like yours they keep me inspired

a reply to: ketsuko

how adorable and sexy is that ...how far appart are ur children
did you "plan" your first bundle of joy?

It's a hard question...I guess we humans want offspring because that's how we become eternal so to speak.

I'm hoping my music is what will make me eternal and children are probably in the way of that dream so I'm a bit torn about answering if I really want children.

a reply to: cody599

aww.. that is awesome.. oh no.. I don't know how she does it.. what a beautiful leason from life we can learn about ourseves by watching (and at the same time worrying )about ur children spreading their wings.. and also I do fear my future children not liking me(??) i am also torn between raising my future kids in they teenage years as a mother figure or friend figure..I don't know how I would do with being both.
ok this is my next question..
when would you want to become a grandfather (assuming u could choose )..
can you even imagine that?

a reply to: cody599

aww.. that is awesome.. oh no.. I don't know how she does it.. what a beautiful leason from life we can learn about ourseves by watching (and at the same time worrying )about ur children spreading their wings.. and also I do fear my future children not liking me(??) i am also torn between raising my future kids in they teenage years as a mother figure or friend figure..I don't know how I would do with being both.
ok this is my next question..
when would you want to become a grandfather (assuming u could choose )..
can you even imagine that?

Not only was I an ecstatic father, I have been the primary caregiver for the youngest. He and I are very close because of this.

I am rabid about my kids.

Always wanted kids of my own ... but thanks to uncle scam spraying agent orange am sterile .. so adopted kids instead .. or should say they adopted me .. my oldest four now grown with families of their own were war orphans ..

My brother actually got drunk and upset one time because he wanted kids and didn't have a relationship at the time never mind a woman that even wanted kids. He said it was unfair that us women could just go out and have a no strings attached baby but guys had to do it through a woman and that was a huge challenge.

Years later he is a single father of three boys whose mother disintegrated with alcohol and put him through court case hell. He now puts up corny kid pics on Facebook so yeah, guys also sometimes want kids.

a reply to: MimiSia

That has to deal with my other head, I don't have access to it's brain.

a reply to: MimiSia

It must have been difficult for both of you being apart. I keep photos of families like yours they keep me inspired

For me it wasn't that hard. My days were filled with mission essential tasks. At the end of my day I was so tired I only had but a few moments to think before I fell asleep. Didn't get to chat that much online.

For her it was different. She was busy too, but she was also with her family back in our home state of Nevada. She had more time to think about my absence.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: MimiSia

My husband wanted one more than I did. I'm glad he talked me into it.

Mine also wanted 1 more, we already had two. Well, technically one & another cookin'. I had to put the kibosh on it. While being pregnant wasn't horrible for me, I was completely done with the process after two & #2 wasn't even out yet when he started thinking about #3. I'm spayed, lol, that was done the day of #2's birth. We came to the agreement that if he really wanted another, wait 5 years & we'd see about adopting. 6 years later, he's no longer interested in a third. These two are more than enough, I can't picture a third kid in this house.

a reply to: MimiSia

Do you want a real honest answer

HERE GOES NOTHING

I am a guy and I have 15 or so guy friends who I grew up with

So you can take my words as gospel on the subject

When a guy is young, even 25-28 young. NO we do not want kids, hell no. We want kids when we are 33-35. And that is also the time we are actually mature, some guys never mature, stay away from them

And yet this is a very bad deal for a woman, woman has to have kids before 30, not just for baby health reasons but also taking care of kids is easier when you are younger, WAY EASIER

So there you go, men and women are strangely mismatched

I am a Guy.

If you didn't see the message passed on in the "Elementary" series. Holmes didn't want to bring an child into the world as the world is so bad.

But if you look at it correctly the world has always been bad.

I have three and would have more now that I have them.

I was late put it off until 40 if I started at 20 I would be a grandpa by now.

this one thing I know.

"CHILDREN COMPLETE YOUR LIFE"

without children your life will be incomplete I guarantee.

originally posted by: MimiSia
a reply to: strongfp

so how would you deal with this scenario: ur woman wakes up tomorrow and tells u she wants kids end of story.(I mean can you really be ever prepared or settled enough or without every day struggles)..

We communicate quite often and have already expressed such a scenario, and both know we cannot afford to bring a child up in todays world. We can barely afford to keep ourselves afloat. financially we are OK I guess. But, we are both young and have ambitions that involve travel and freedom. It would not be fair. I guess we are both kind of selfish right now.

a reply to: birhan

that is very traditional
grown-up and romantic..
my ideal scenario would be (I would take this on as part of my responsibility and that part is not up for a debate) that I can financially make up for the period of work. and I guess partly that is why I love my job (accounting) because I am able to do most of my work from home if I want to. the last thing (if I have a partner) is for them to be away, stressing out most of the time and miss out on things(what is the beauty and fun in that)