Whats the most unusual thing you ever had to do at work?

a reply to: Skid Mark

Oh yuck... I just can't stand that! My son is an ambulance driver, and one of the things he has had to deal with is people who have some sort of bowel obstruction (I am not sure of the correct terms) in which their fecal matter comes back up... they actually vomit poop. His stories are absolutely horrifying.

a reply to: nonspecific

You would think that as a locksmith, I would have seen and done more unusual work than I did at my previous job in a frozen food retail establishment, but you would be mistaken. While I was working in food retail, the following oddities occurred.

1) While rotating the stock in the chilled meat section one morning, I stumbled upon a chilled whole chicken, which did not look like the others. The others had one hole in them, at one end. This one had two holes, both of which seemed excessively ragged. I picked up the chicken, which was of course wrapped in industry grade cling film and sat on a polystyrene base. Upon closer inspection, I could see that the inside of the chicken contained a pool of a gelatinous, off white substance. Having inspected it and found this to be the case, and knowing enough about chicken that the substance was not supposed to be there, I alerted my supervisor, who told me to take the chicken to the managers office and show him.

This I did, and I handed it off to him for him to deal with. Packing numbers, order forms, and tracking information were gleaned to establish which depot this chicken had come from, and it was traced back to a particular packing plant, used by the chain for which I worked. As it turned out, my worst fears were borne out, since it became clear that one or more of the staff at this plant had... Interfered with the chicken in question, before it was wrapped, loaded, and transported to our store.

2) A mother and her many, many offspring came to my till one afternoon, an event which was not at all unusual in the offing, but became strange and disturbing by the end of our interaction. The "lady" and her spawn were all covered in many different shades of muck, food stains, dribble, and other unmentionable things adhered to their faces, their clothes, and so on. She had bought about forty pounds worth of shopping to my till, and as I was scanning it, a young lad of between six and eight years of age, and part of her gaggle of gunk covered progeny, dropped his trousers, and did a number two right on the floor, in front of my till. Now, kids and their toilet often come together in unfortunate ways, so without judgement or ill will, I pointed out as much to the mother. At this point she became irate with me, and announced to the store "ITS A KID, I CAN'T WATCH IT ALL THE TIME!"

At this point, and given her attitude and lack of apology, I sent her from the store without her shopping, and then had to go down to the cleaning cupboard in the basement and collect the equipment necessary to remove the offending article, and any bacterial remnants of it from the area. That task was deeply unpleasant.

3) Alongside the selection of chilled and frozen foods we sold back then, we also had a decent selection of budget booze, store brand versions of the popular beverages, as well as the named brand ones. We also had a fair few total drunkards as customers. We were under strict instructions from the management, not to sell alcohol to anyone who appeared to be impaired through drink however, and one night, just before closing, these things came into unfortunate conjunction. I was the sole employee on the shop floor, manning the till points, the rest having been tasked to take a delivery, bring up the cages full of waste cardboard, and prepare for the next day. The security guard had just left for the night, when a fellow of approximately fifty years old, and possessed of a jowly face and sleepy eyes, walked into the store. He wove back and forth, and hither and thither, up one aisle, and down another, until he came to rest in the beer and spirits section.

He hefted a bottle of store brand Irish Cream, a cheaper version of Bailey's. He inspected it for some time, and then blundered his way to the tills. Upon arrival at the till, he placed it at the extreme end of the conveyor belt, and watched with glee as it traveled toward me, following it all the way. It arrived at my end of the conveyor, and I took it off the belt, and placed it on the scale before me. I told him that I could not sell him the product, because I believed that he was drunk, citing his movements through the store, and the smell of strong drink on his breath as evidence, and explaining that technically, I would be breaking store policy to sell him the drink.

He responded by snatching up the bottle, and making ready to strike me with it. I disarmed the impending assault by deft application of a wrist lock, and then, once I had extricated myself from behind the till, still grasping the gentleman firmly by the arm, marched him out of the store with his arm up his back, pushed him out, and locked the door.

For Laz, it would have to be helping carry a dead body in a sling (at a hospital).

a reply to: Bluesma

I wouldn't be able to handle that. Poo and vomit are two things that gross me out beyond belief. Both together, nope.

I had to hold a guy down until the police could get to work and then they tazed him.
He sunk his teeth into my co worker just as the cops got there.
I almost didn't let go in time..lol

I think that was the weirdest thing I have had to do, other than going into an apartment after a suicide to see what all needed to be done to get it rent ready, that was also a very weird work experience.

I once had a temp job in the gift-wrapping dept of a fancy department store. A man's wallet was stolen and he had a gift-wrapping claim ticket in there that the police figured would be used by the thieves to pick up his gift. So it was my job to pay attention to when that specific claim ticket was presented and upon taking the ticket I would say a code word and go to the back room. And then the two guys who had the ticket got arrested.

Sal

a reply to: nonspecific

I once had to drive my Boss to the hospital after he cut off his finger while smashing the radio of the tenants next door to our business.

He couldn't stand the subwoofers any longer............

So he used a 2x4


(don't even ask how he managed to slice it off, its a long story.....)

I just thought of another thing I had to do. I worked at a factory and we had to hide parts on a truck because it was around tax time. The company would have people drive the trucks around so they wouldn't be taxed for the parts-which would count as income, I guess.

Oh, on another job, my manager had me hit him over the back with a tree limb. I don't remember why. I argued with him and said I wouldn't do it so he ordered me to. I did. It broke in half. Yeah, I think that was pretty weird.

New on set, many, many years ago, I was told to hold a door closed from the inside, in the pitch blackness of a condemned prison.

The iron door was to a room more like an elevator shaft than an office.

There was a 6 foot wide ledge and a 20 foot drop-off.

The scene started with the actor exiting the room and slamming the door and my job was to keep it from bouncing open.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, the door we had selected for the blocking of our scene was to the gallows and I was alone, at the edge of a precipice, in the pitch blackness in the middle of the night, holding closed a portal to hell.

a reply to: nonspecific

I once had to de-bone and dice 5 boxes of pork shoulder (picnic) and delivery it at 3 AM to a Dominican fry truck.

I once had to wait on a table of Indian high society socialites that made me cut their food for them. I was curious if they wanted me to feed it to them too. LOL

I once had to collect from a restaurant owner that owed my dad money, so me and a friend staked out his restaurant like on a sting and rushed him before he closed to pay us. We waited until he was counting the till and revealed ourselves with the bills he owed. That was cool.

I once had to build a retaining wall with a buddy of mine when I worked construction in the middle of the night since the client made a stink about it not being ready for a family gathering on his property. Weirdo.

I used to sell fire wood. My friend and I opened a wood cutting and delivery service called "two guys with axes". That was my first business. We would sell by the yard to private houses /large facilities with old boilers.... or by the stack to gas stations. We once went to a "spiritual center" to see if they wanted any of the trees on their property cleared for free. It turned out to be a cult. They were beyond weird. The guy in charge was interrupted when talking to us by a spaced out woman saying that they were "eating, I mean meeting downstairs" while staring blankly and smiling at us. There was more but anyways we left walking briskly. We felt fear. True fear.

I used to work at the YMCA. We had this weird guy who would pick up the kids from the bus stop. He turned out to be a pedophile. That guy made my skin crawl. I knew he was one before he was exposed. The guy was creepy and weird. I used to have to go with him to pick up the kids before my class. We were forced to talk all the time. He knew I hated him but would insist on talking about drugs and sex all the time. Awkward. I eventually told him to shut up or I would throw him under a bus. That worked. LOL

OH, I once waited a table in a really nice restaurant where VERY wealthy people would frequent. This one family was the weirdest, most inbred family I have ever seen. The kids were about 50 years old. Guy and girl. The parents were old, well traveled, insane rich people. The father looked like a world class whore. Like the smoking old pimp from kill bill. The wife looked like a frayed socialite in furs of another era. She reminded me of what the evil aunt from"Great expectations" would have looked like. So the weird started from the get go. I have no idea what the mother said. EVER. It was nervous laughing and mumbles mixed with words I never heard before. The father was a whore. LOL. I think he went every way under the sun and only thought of sex. He reeked of cigars,cognac and sex. Everything he said was sexual in nature. He ordered his whole families food through sexual innuendos. The kids were space cadets. They washed their hands in the water glasses...their mouths too. This family knew not of limitations or social contracts of courtesy. LOL

They had the loudest and strangest conversations followed by the most painfully silent meal. Then they left asking all sorts of odd questions to other people as they left. It was a living WTF moment. I had to stay on top of them too since they were pretty needy and that is my job. I wanted to run away. I didnt even know where to stand or who to address. LOL

I used to have to deliver produce and meat without a drivers licence at all hours of the day. I started at 15 I think.
I never got pulled over until the day after I got my licence.

I once tried to sell a pallet of bathroom travel bags at a town cultural festival that my friend got cheap. (same guy as the wood cutting service). We had to hustle upper middle class people to buy our crappy made in china travel bags while they thought they came for ethnic food and a cultural festival in the sun. LOL. We REALLY had to hustle and insist. I felt like a poor Egyptian kid trying to hassle tourists to buy horribly rubbish trinkets. LOL

Once bar-tending, I had to call a guys wife and make up an elaborate plot for the events of the evening that left her husband in the state she was about to receive him. It was a block buster. The story carried on long after and became a sort of neighborhood myth.

I once worked a job for 20 minutes and got paid to leave. I came with my friend who had a Mohawk. His mom got us the job at a fund raiser for something. The people in charge were very proper ladies... christian old school women. I wasnt dressed like a hoodlum, but scummy, very scummy. I was a grungy metal head at the time. My friend was a HARDCORE punk. LOL We folded 2 shirts they were selling and were asked to leave by a group of these ultra conservative ladies with fear in their voices. They paid us in full and asked us to leave. LOL

I had to go to a whore house once because my boss lost his keys there. I examined semen covered rooms looking for them. It was surreal. You would never know the mood of a whore house on off hours until you go. Its a testament to humanity.

I dont know. There is so much more. My work history is weird. I wouldnt trade it though. A career would pay more, but I have seen things.....Plus nothing really scares or impresses me anymore unless its really special or great. Also, now I know I could do ANY task needed to be done. I know this.

LOL