Fifty shades of Grey. Seriously, why the hype?

The book basically made S&M a bit more mainstream....Can't really imagine the same translating to the screen with anything less than an NC-17 rating, so personally, I think this is going to be a huge letdown for those who liked the book. Just an assessment based on the hype. I haven't read it, but feel like I have from mainstream exposure to it.

Like the Twilight phenom before, I suppose it is all in how well they translate the angst, tension, wonder, etc. of the main character.

I hope all those people who are saying "It's putting women in their place" and how it mistreats women etc etc.. realise it is written by a woman?

a reply to: canucks555

The book floated through my house.

From everything I have heard, it is just one of the more erotic pieces of fiction out there.
I guess it beats cheesy Harlequin Romance novels.

It was a best seller, so of course they will make a movie out of it.
Some people get into that kind of thing.

personally, I'd rather watch porn....lol

a reply to: karmicecstasy

I totally agree with you.

I did not ever read the book, but my daughter read it not once, not twice, but three times cover to cover. As you said, not having orgasms was the reason.

She read a book about a man who made that his entire goal, and started fantasizing... lots... she told me the only time she had an orgasm was when her husband "accidentally" gave her one, usually about once a year....

yeah, this is the type of person who loved the book, and exactly why...

To the men, if your wife or significant other read this book once and liked it... get to work... lol... there is a bit of unfulfillment there - start doing your job!

originally posted by: Mister_Bit
I hope all those people who are saying "It's putting women in their place" and how it mistreats women etc etc.. realise it is written by a woman?

I take it you like the book or bdsm. I dont judge. I have been there done that. I think when you are in a strong long term relationship you eventually do everything. I wont say more for violations of the T&C lol.

Now the reason I brought that up is because I do not think anyone in the thread is unaware it was written by a woman. Some have disagreed with the philosophy, if you can call it that, of the book. Others have said it is poorly written. I know a girl who is hardcore into the bdsm scene and she hates the book. She says that if you want to really know the bdsm scene and how sub dom dynamics work to read the Masters of the Shadowlands series.

a reply to: OpinionatedB

Your post made me laugh, but yet it is still very true and to the point.

Why do we prefer certain types of books at all? I like many genres but I prefer science fiction, so I read science fiction because my day to day life provides me nothing on the things that interest me, space travel, futuristic time settings etc....

The women that are watching/reading this come in all forms; The lonely housewives, the angsty teenage girls, the divorced lonely women, the shy girls who can not speak up about what turns them on, etc.... It is not that they are dumb at all but that they are lacking fulfillment and this book/movie helps them act out their fantasies in their head.

I have yet to read it or watch it, does not really interest me but when my friends tell me about it, sure I roll my eyes but I listen because I see it for what it is...a release for them. They get to listen to me tell them all about The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy and how I wish my life was filled with the adventures that Arthur gets to have.

I guess I really see no harm in it

The liking or not of literature is also a mindset thing.

Some people write better than others.

If some fiction is written in the first person, or even in the third person, the mindset of the 'person' has to resonate well for the literature to be compelling IMO.

For example, I mostly read factual information as I am interested in facts though I do like movies, which are often mostly fiction, including comedies.

However, I once bought a 'chic-lit' book as it was before an op on my arm and considered it might be 'entertaining', it was supposedly 'lite reading' and was called something like 'Confessions of a Shopaholic', based on a review of it being 'funny'. It wasn't. To me it was a tawdry quagmire of tediously shallow detailed accounts of 'Manolo Blahniks', the interior of shops etc with some further excruciatingly low brow attempts at 'relationships'. It was beyond dire. Even as a purposeful attempt at seeking whimsical comedy, it truly was unentertaining, like watching Big Brother meets TOWIE meets Britain's got Talent meets X Factor style unentertaining. It was cringeworthy.

The excerpt I read of 50 Shades of Grey was very similar, as if told by the mind of a shallow dullard. It was and is, out of tune with my mind and sensibilities, it didn't and doesn't resonate. I would prefer to read about History or science than a glimpse into the mindset of the IMO, disturbed.

To tie together what OpinionatedB, brandiwine14 , theabsolutetruth, said. In the particular case of how it relates to books that are deemed erotica. I think men need to realize that while it is a good idea to know where a womans parts are located and how they work. The biggest and most important sexual organ a woman possesses is her brain. Knowing what her mindset is, how she views the world, and where her mind drifts to when seeking escapist fantasy, will help you achieve your bedroom goals more than anything. If you make her all hot and bothered in the mind the body will catch up real quick.

a reply to: karmicecstasy

You got that right. If I could give you 2 stars for that post, I would.

In fact that should be an international campaign.

a reply to: karmicecstasy

That's interesting, but I don't know if that holds true for everyone... although it may be a more general rule I'm not sure.

I can write the best erotica, yet, cannot be bothered to read it. Reading it does nothing at all for me...

now, my husband plays me like a fiddle, and can take me from zero to 60 in seconds flat though... when I allow the play. (which is... usually...lol) I simply don't think my mind has too much to do with it.

a reply to: OpinionatedB

Let me clarify. Making a woman all hot and bothered in the mind does not have to only be through the written word. It could be through spoken words or just actions. Its all about keeping her mind engaged and turned on. As an example. If you are in the mood, and you see your husband do something that you consider sexy maybe a look or how he walks or anything and then he whispers something sexy in your ears or the words I love you. That has your mind actively engaged and turned on. When the mind is turned on it will be easier for your body to achieve the goal you want.

a reply to: karmicecstasy

Ahhh... yes... this is true... thinking on that for half a second, and certain things he does - and says... yep. Nail on the head there!

He wont let me forget either... lol

You actually made me giggle!

a reply to: OpinionatedB

Your mind probably is allowing the physical responses.

For example, even if the physical was on the right track, if the mind was interrupted (say, if he called his mom/ plumber, started knitting / macrame etc) during, your mind would respond and the physical perhaps interrupted. Or if it was another person and you were blindfolded, you probably wouldn't physically react in the same way as part of your physical responses are directly related to your minds view of the physical, such as it being a certain person, a certain familiar way etc.

a reply to: theabsolutetruth

you do have a good point.

a reply to: OpinionatedB

If all men would read my posts in this thread then all woman would be edited because tmi's lol

a reply to: karmicecstasy

lol... hahahahaha

Well, I wanted to start a thread about the movie, asking for feedback from people who might have seen it.
I mourn the loss of Charlie Hunnam in the lead, thinking of boycotting it. Yesterday was "I am Charlie", I'm moving onto "I want Charlie".

But this thread is on a totally different slant- why did these books get so popular???

I will dare to be the hated one out here- I liked the books. I didn't think I would, the subject matter seemed so stupid to me, but was surprised to find it touching some internal nerves (and I don't just mean physical).

I think it is interesting to consider it as an exposé of the feminine mind. The comments about it being for women who "don't get enough orgasms" is ironic, when one of the repeated plays in it is bringing her to the brink of orgasm- then stopping.

I think it illustrated many womens desires to get past their sexual inhibitions, but also to experience not being selfless all the time. Women in America, especially, are so conditioned to try to please and seduce their mates, they dream of being able to be selfish, sit back and have someone else bring them sandwiches in front of the tv. To not have to do or be anything special- be desired just as they are, and just -enjoy.
Yeah, I am sure many women will argue on that point...
But like me, I bet they will still have repulsive reactions to women who practice libertinism, wondering why they "give themselves out to strangers"? I still have trouble wrapping my head around what they told me when I asked- "We don't "give out" anything! We are taking pleasure for ourselves, that's all!"

It is the concept of vulnerability that it comes down to for me... having intimate sexual exchange makes me feel vulnerable, and I can't trust just anyone in that state.

The point that Christian is painted as a very powerful man, with lots of money and influence and a strong character is an important factor in that issue- the fantasy goes beyond sex itself. It is the fantasy of power balanced with responsibility.

Don't we all wish we could have (or be) a boss, a President, who could wield extreme power faced with others, and yet NOT become corrupt, NOT abuse that, NOT take advantage of the vulnerability of those in his/her charge???
Someone we could rely on, trust, under all circumstances... even ....blindfolded?

The whole SM thing we witness in that book isn't about being hurt or abused- it helps to read it before judging that.
The games were focused on making the woman feel vulnerable, sometimes aware of her fear of potential suffering, and being surprised with pleasure instead.

I found the book, and it's popularity, quite fascinating in terms of taking the pulse of a culture, and of deeper psychological conflicts with desire and ideals.

I think it would be worth it for any young man, who misreads women enough to say things like "women just want to be abused" or "they always want the guys who hurt them" to read it and perhaps understand better. They've got it backwards.

Anyway, I'm zipping up the flame suit now.
Has anyone seen it yet?

originally posted by: brandiwine14

The women that are watching/reading this come in all forms; The lonely housewives, the angsty teenage girls, the divorced lonely women, the shy girls who can not speak up about what turns them on, etc.... It is not that they are dumb at all but that they are lacking fulfillment and this book/movie helps them act out their fantasies in their head.

Well, you are certainly entitled to your opinion... But I disagree. There are also women interested in social and cultural movements, in psychology, which read it and found it interesting. Not for the prose, but considering the questions- why did she write this?
Why do so many women like it?

Though I recognize these are exactly the questions you attempt to attend to here, I wonder how you can come to your conclusions without having read it yourself??

I wouldn't feel capable of coming to such conclusions like "Why do some people love playing guitar? Why do some people love playing tennis? - or shopping, or foot massages, or football games.... without stepping into their shoes and doing it yourself as well. Looking at their faces as they speak about it gives half the story, the other half is in looking at the focus of their attention too.

I'd say it's really heavy marketing for Dakota Johnson, I think. Well, the book itself is controversial, then you have people calling out the casting and all. All weird. hehe

Does anyone know why theater seats for this movie are being covered with plastic to make it easier for staff to clean up? Huh? Clean up what, popcorn crumbs? I actually heard about this on Fox radio earlier today (or was it ESPN?). You would think that this might be quite embarassing. I mean who wants to go to the movies and be treated like someone who might be incontinent haha. If I went to see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre then I might just laugh at plastic covered "anti-accident" seating. What a world!!!