I Love You Less

i have tryed that,to no avail, got her a kickboxing membership and she goes, but yet im still the punching bag when she gets home :/

a reply to: dirtybird

Yeah, that wouldn't work for me either.
My 'angry person' works 15 hour days doing hard manual labour, and the long days of hard work and little sleep are what make him angry.
I'm the face at the end of the day, that apparently must 'bear the brunt' of his stress.

When I get upset, the first thing I do is let everyone around me 'off the hook'. I explain that, "I'm not upset with you...it's nothing to do with you...but I'm upset/angry about...whatever." What I really cannot understand, is the fact that some people turn their day's worth of stress into PERSONAL insults and attacks.

ExPat....Wife #14? You sound lovely, it shouldn't be that difficult, lol. (By the way, I would have thought that a drunk macaw would be a total chick-magnet?)

jacy

a reply to: dirtybird

a reply to: yeahright

Hi yeahright!

The reason people stay in bad relationships can be quite complicated.
I just deleted a huge paragraph of personal information...sorry.
Sometimes your options can be extremely limited, especially if you have no family.
Sometimes your will has been so broken that you have lost your 'spark'...and become withdrawn.
Sometimes you don't know what 'good' love feels like, because you have never experienced it.
Sometimes other people don't believe you because they never witness it personally.

Sometimes you can rhyme, and then there are moments like this when you just can't find the right words at all.
I'm just going to hit 'reply' because I'm lost for the right words, and I do want to thank you for your response.

jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

.

a reply to: yeahright

Oh I do understand what you're saying.
I have a female friend who has been married for 30 years now. I've known her for 20, and to this day she is still whining and complaining about him...same conversation as 20 years ago.
She wouldn't leave because she was afraid of losing her 'security'.

I left an abusive alcoholic who left me permanently injured and suffering PTSD, but I ran with only my car and my clothes. Spent a lot of time couch-hopping, and working on getting back on my feet. My friend was not 'strong enough' to go through what I went through....(her words).

This thread...my poem...wasn't me claiming 'abuse'. It was basically me expressing that I was not the cause of the stress, and shouldn't have personal insults hurled at me as someone else's release.

This is so weird....I'm having such a problem getting the words out...probably feeling a bit defensive I guess.
Nothing personal with you lol, just having my own issues.
jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

Hi Jacy. Hope your well. It sure is an awful feeling when someone treats you this way. I know believe me!. Its hurtful. Why not write the poem out for him to see how his behaviour is affecting you. Maybe this will give him a little jolt. If not you could always go for him with a decent frying pan Lol..(Only Joking of course)
I hope things improve for you soon...Take care

a reply to: jacygirl

I'm old. And old school.

No-one should treat a lady that way. No matter how bad a day he had.

I'm with beez on this jacy

AND I have your number Just say the word

Cody

a reply to: cody599

Doc, beezzer, Cody....Aww...thanks for the support guys! (My brother's from other mothers, lol)

I guess I just believe in 'fighting fair' (not that it even was a fight)...but when someone says mean and insulting things to you (that are undeserved)...it hurts. Words can't be taken back.

jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

a reply to: yeahright

Thank you...it's actually kind of funny to me now, realizing that I was getting defensive.
I really do appreciate your participation.

I guess it's just another one of those situations that seem so clear when you're on the outside, but they are muddy and confusing when you're smack dab in the middle. I hate to admit it, but when I was younger I was one of those women who believed that she would NEVER be an abused woman...and didn't have a lot of sympathy.

At least I learned from the experience, and that's worth something, right?

jacy

a reply to: jacygirl


That is so beautiful & poignant!
You have a real talent!
Maybe it's true, you have to have seen the ugly side of life,
to be able to appreciate it's beauty!

If the relationship is like a roller coaster ride,
only level with all downs & no ups, is it worth it?
Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time,
but it doesn't make any difference?

There always seems to be one person in a bad relationship,
that is the nurturer. Compromising, losing themselves,
trying everything to make it work, becoming exhausted.
They hate to give up, take it as personal failure!

Are you able to sit down when he's not upset & tell him how you feel?
Will he listen, acknowledge your feelings & try to work on things?
If he will, then it's worth giving it a chance.
If not...then not so much!!! Sometimes there is no cure!

Life is too short to miss out on it!
Everyone deserves happiness. At the very least to be content!
Sometimes it might be better to be alone,
than to be 'stabbed in the heart' all the time!

Good luck in your personal journey, whichever path you choose!
WOQ

a reply to: jacygirl

You turned a bad situation in to art, it's a beautiful poem.

I'm sorry someone is being a jerk to you when you did nothing to deserve it.

a reply to: jacygirl

The reason why you love me less is be part of the world of these spirits.

a reply to: jacygirl

Hello...I wrote this poem for you.

I'm sorry for the misplanced anger
directed at you
I know... it makes you feel blue

How to respond
to a loved one who is wrong...
you don't want to string them along

Wanting to sit down and talk with an embrace
right now where is that trace... of respect

I know you're feeling the neglect
of closeness and love
I think you need help from above

Look deep within your heart and soul
should you stay...should you go?

My prayers are with you now
I know somehow
You'll figure it out
There will be...no doubt
About what to do
Then...you'll no longer feel blue

a reply to: greyer

You have an awful lot to learn about women! Take your hateful remarks elsewhere!

Jacy my dear sister/friend, You know we have much in common and that we have both suffered emotionally for things that were never our fault. You are one of the sweetest and most compassionate and kind and caring and humorous and wise woman I have ever known.

You know how to contact me at any time if you ever need me. There are so many people here who love and appreciate you.

Bad relationships can drain a person and make them a shadow of who they once used to be.

Though in my own relationship hubby wants a divorce, neither of us can afford one. For now we still live together because of financial reasons. At least he still takes me to get groceries and to the doctors when I need to go and we share in the household expenses.

I know he would like a much younger prettier woman but so far that hasn't worked out for him. LOL Good!

originally posted by: greyer
a reply to: jacygirl

The reason why you love me less is be part of the world of these spirits.

I see you edited your original response!

Comes a skillet...

Think twice about not being nice to me, your tooth brush resides in the room that I pee.
Come home like a grouch, may find tacks in the couch. Horribly painful for you it could be.
Leave that attitude on the job site, or wherever it started, I could easily put the covers over your head aft I've farted.
Wake the F up you grumpy deflated old Kripe! Turn your world upside down and inside out, I definitely might!
Try treating your woman with kindness and love, for surely good luck and good food would rain down from above.

If that doesn't work maybe a small cast iron skillet'll straighten him out.

Your man needs you to release for him because he never learned how. Don't take it too seriously, don't let it bring you down. Life's way, way too short, so just do what you can, keep up the hard work Jacy girl, someday soon he'll be a well trained man...