Women's Natural Antipathy For All Of Rodentia And the Men Who Laugh

Attack Of The Killer Shrews!

jacygirl
Sheez...I'd rather have the axe-murderer. At least he wouldn't have 8 legs, and descend from the ceiling with an evil smirk.

An axe-murderer would be a lot harder to kill with a rolled up newspaper, though... but I'll agree, less scary.

Hecate666
There is almost no animal that I wouldn't treat with respect, I owned Tarantulas [whom I loved] and put out some spiders [the others I let stay inside] by hand.

I've had a couple tarantulas, thought they were great. Unfortunately, so did my cats... If you're having trouble with rodents or bugs, that might be a solution.

beezzer
reply to post by OpinionatedB

 

I'll let you in on a little secret, ma'am.

We laugh because we are terrified. We are conditioned at a young age to laugh in the face of imminent death. (this takes place while all you gals go in groups to the bathroom).

If our leg is caught in a bear trap, we laugh.
If thundering hoards of enemy vampires breach the walls, we laugh.
Rodents, spiders, snakes, kittens. . . . we just laugh.

But no to worry.

There is plenty that you can mock manhood about!

Dirty dishes still scare us enough that we avoid them all.
Placing a toilet seat down causes us to cringe in a bout of germaphobia so extreme, that we actually cry a little bit.
Anything other than a microwave or a charcoal grill intimidates us to no end.

And if you really want to intimidate men, just ask us to buy feminine products at the local store. We turn into simpering fools who are helpless and naïve.

I only have one objection here, I'm perfectly comfortable using a gas range or convection oven - and microwaves ruin most food. Everything else seems to be in order though, cheers.

This is the sight I woke up to this morning, after being awakened by a bloodcurdling scream:



I have set game trail cameras around the house on likely mouse-runs. I've captured these:







During the course of The Great Mouse Hunt, I found some disturbing things. I have an idea that the mouse may be plotting a mutiny and takeover. I get that idea because I found this flag in a suspected mouse nest:



Alert to Beezer: Don't get all smug, because it had this flag in it's nest, too:



Beez old buddy, I think you may be next on the hit list for the critter.

I'm normally at work at this time of day, so the varmint doesn't realize it's not home alone. I heard, a few minutes ago, some stirring and rustling. Upon inquiry, I discovered what may be a bitty mouse larder. I have set up another feeding station for him nearby. A feeding station with a hair trigger. We'll see just how this goes.

I'm getting out the tanning tools. A mouse-skin rug ought to fetch a high price, since it'll be one-of-a-kind.

CretumOrbis

I only have one objection here, I'm perfectly comfortable using a gas range or convection oven - and microwaves ruin most food. Everything else seems to be in order though, cheers.

My favorite cooking appliance is an acetylene torch. Would that count as a "gas range"?

To each his own, I suppose!

ETA:

and this:

CretumOrbis

An axe-murderer would be a lot harder to kill with a rolled up newspaper, though... but I'll agree, less scary.

That depends on how you roll up a newspaper. I like to roll mine up around an ice pick.

reply to post by nenothtu


Get 'em!

reply to post by beezzer


Oh beezzer...NOOOOOOO!
*sob*
Poor wee mousie.
NO. That is just wrong!

Please please don't show me a tarantula rug....I will throw up a little in my mouth.
Bad bunny.

jacy
No Easter eggs for you.

jacygirl
reply to post by beezzer

 

Oh beezzer...NOOOOOOO!
*sob*
Poor wee mousie.
NO. That is just wrong!

Please please don't show me a tarantula rug....I will throw up a little in my mouth.

Bad bunny.

jacy
No Easter eggs for you.

Let's not start on the Easter eggs. . . .

reply to post by beezzer


Ah, but that mouse is a white mouse - the domesticated variety ("domesticated mice" - what a concept!). My mouse skin rug will be from a wild mouse, and as everyone knows, wild game is the very most dangerous kind!

nenothtu
reply to post by beezzer

 

Ah, but that mouse is a white mouse - the domesticated variety ("domesticated mice" - what a concept!). My mouse skin rug will be from a wild mouse, and as everyone knows, wild game is the very most dangerous kind!

It'll be a challenge. Don't show fear.

They smell fear.

Hecate666

We had mice in the shed and I found their little nests in my wellington boots [aaww] and left them to it. They ate my grass seeds and I thought that was funny.

SEE?!?

I TOLD her she needed to start checking her shoes before she put them on! It was out of love, and from experience - I used to have to check my boots every morning for spiders, scorpions, snakes, and assorted other nasties and shake them out before I put them on.

I thought she was going to throw something at me when i said that, and I was accused of being "just mean!"

I am now vindicated!

beezzer

nenothtu
reply to post by beezzer

 

Ah, but that mouse is a white mouse - the domesticated variety ("domesticated mice" - what a concept!). My mouse skin rug will be from a wild mouse, and as everyone knows, wild game is the very most dangerous kind!

It'll be a challenge. Don't show fear.

They smell fear.

The wild mice?

Or wives?

nenothtu

beezzer

nenothtu
reply to post by beezzer

 

Ah, but that mouse is a white mouse - the domesticated variety ("domesticated mice" - what a concept!). My mouse skin rug will be from a wild mouse, and as everyone knows, wild game is the very most dangerous kind!

It'll be a challenge. Don't show fear.

They smell fear.

The wild mice?

Or wives?

Both

jacygirl

Hecate666


Pull yourself together women, no wonder men are laughing.

edit on 11-4-2014 by Hecate666 because: (no reason given)

Laughing at someone who is afraid is mean.
Making fun of someone who is afraid is mean.
Fears might be 'irrational' but they're still real.

Said by the woman who has been crying for a week over the death of her beloved ferret. (Love ALL animals...still hate spiders)

beezzer...Thank you for being you.

jacygirl

Maybe that's the answer - we should get a ferret. I bet a ferret could take that mouse right out. My grandpa used to keep ferrets as hunting animals. He'd carry them in the pocket of his hunting coat, and when something had to be ran out of a hole in the ground, in went the ferret and out came the game.

Yup. Ferrets on the shopping list of things to get in The Great Mouse Hunt. Cat's don't work. The last one ran away crying, and I haven't seen it since. This is what the game trail camera caught of that encounter:

Expat888
No rodents in house here .. just two cormorants , a beer drinking macaque named sun wukong and a tempermental siamese cat .. down near the river theres a mother tiger and two cubs ..

Always laughed at ex wives reactions to the little lizards that run around over here ..

A mother tiger and two cubs?

NO WONDER you don't have mice!

I'm putting a mother tiger and two cubs on the shopping list of things to get for The Great Mouse Hunt, too. I'm not holding my breath, however, because it's off season for tigers here.

OpinionatedB
reply to post by jacygirl

 

fear of something really is horrid. It doesn't matter if its irrational to some... I am not sure I will be able to walk on my floor for years to come... and my heart is still racing uncontrollably.

Mice so totally freak me out! For real.... I understand when other people have fear of things, such as your fear of spiders. It's a horrible feeling altogether!

Keep that in mind the next time I'm about to get raked over the coals about spiders...

AutumnWitch657

Plus I think some men are more afraid then they let on. Being macho in front of the women the same as some women will act frightened because it's expected of them.

No, it's not a macho thing. We are problem solvers. That's what we do. The fastest way to solve a scary spider problem is to squash it.

So I do.

Immediately, without even thinking about it.

We can't help how wimmin-folk choose to interpret that sudden action - WE know why it is...

reply to post by nenothtu


The differences between men and women are very simple when it comes to invasive household predators.

Be it, tigers, alligators, dinosaurs, mice or political pollsters, keeping the house safe and secure, along with the inhabitants is the primary job of the man.

Why?

Because we are expendable. Face it, we burp, fart, scratch ourselves all day long.

Nature has decided that men are the "Kleenex tissue" of society. Use them, then throw them away. Oh sure, women will weep at our passing. For whom will open the jar of pickles? Who in the house will master the tv remote?

Who, in the house, will leave the toilet seat up?

When Columbus discovered America in 1938, he brought with him something from France (which used to be called "Germany" at the time). It is called "Stink-purty".

It is a liquid in a small bottle sold at high prices and is used to cloud men's minds and to bend the weak men to the will of women. It makes the women smell like a fancy hotel lobby.
(My wife just puts a little pot-roast drippings behind each ear to get me to do anything she wants.)

So remember, while women cannot wrestle bears, or spit real far, nature has given them an advantage to overpower the most manliest of men.

reply to post by beezzer


You are making it impossible to read my own thread! I'd say thank you, but I just cannot manage that level of sarcasm...

OpinionatedB
reply to post by beezzer

 

You are making it impossible to read my own thread! I'd say thank you, but I just cannot manage that level of sarcasm...

Apologies.

I just saw this as an opportunity to expound my vast knowledge of men and women.

Please, carry on.

reply to post by beezzer


Ohhh I commend such a vast knowledge such as yours and all contributions by yourself are well-meaning I know...

but the pictures... are making me shudder uncontrollably...

watch out with the pictures before I decide to make YOU shudder uncontrollably with some pictures of my own!