The Last Hurrah!

I could see that the boss was clearly upset. “You keep SCREWING UP and I’ll send you off to MIB where you probably belong…DO YOU UNDERSTAND!” The spittle was flying in all directions from his mouth and all six of his arms were waving wildly about. (Other than that he looked like your typical asshole boss that you can find pretty much everywhere, and I do mean everywhere, like in the universe.)

I sat there trying to look contrite and failing miserably. I actually liked him when he was like this. You could read him easier and thus control his thought patterns. When the boss was quiet, that was when you had to look over your shoulder. I sat there reliving the excitement of my last mission and planning what I was going to say.

My smirk made him go off on another totally unrelated rant and when his tirade was finished, he literally had steam coming off his body. It’s actually a pleasant smell…like bacon frying, which reminded me that I had to finish up here as I was getting hungry.

“Well hell Boss, I did what I had to do didn’t I? I mean I’m getting to old for this gig and it’s not like you ever let me train somebody else.” We’ve had this conversation for ten years now I think.

“A planet! A FLIPPIN PLANET!, YOU DESTROYED A WHOLE FLIPPIN” PLANET TO GET THE BAD GUY!”

“It’s not like it was inhabited fer cripes sake, it’s under the radar.” I relaxed and grabbed for my coffee. But it seemed that my nonchalant attitude set him off.

“UNDER THE RADAR?! IT’S ALL OVER THE FLIPPIN’ RADAR NOW! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO HIDE PLANETARY DEBRIS?!”

“Gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet”, as I sipped my cup. “I did bag the guy after all.”

“Yea, I’ll give you that. BY BAGGIN” THE ENTIRE FLIPPIN” PLANET!” It’s a gravel yard out there now!” Ah…good, the boss seemed to be calming down a bit.

“Well I did save the taxpayers money didn’t I? No muss, no fuss, no lengthy trial and no prison. Done, done and done. Boss, this guy was a bad guy and I spent two years tracking him down. I did what had to be done.”

“But an entire FLIPPIN” PLANET! The ethics committee is going to have field day with this, not to mention the oversight committee. I don’t need this.”

“Well that’s all and good Boss, since I’ve put in my retirement papers. It’s time I quit.”

He looked at me for a long second and blurted out…”NO! You can’t quit…what will we do without you!”

reply to post by TDawgRex


Typical, Just typical!

You idiots in the Interspecies Revenue Service will do anything. You have no damn realistic external oversight, that is the problem. You are a law unto yourselves. Your ethics committee is a stellar joke.

The 'Bad Guy' ALLEGEDLY owed 678.00 credits, the price of two coffees and you destroy an entire planet! His six wives and two hundred and ten children will be on welfare for the next five hundred and two years! Hell man, his species does not even understand the concept of taxation.

But no, you have to go and destroy an entire planet!

Still, not all bad news. The mineral rights to the newly formed asteroid field should bring in thee point two zillion credits over the next four standard years.

Just be thankful that the planet was uninhabited. Operative Alpha 129 had to be fired last year when he destroyed a planet with two billion lives. That was one hell of a mess. As it is, the greenies will be up in arms about this. We are listing it as a mistake due to weapons malfunction.

End Report.

reply to post by pheonix358


Thanks for the follow up, Boss.

I owe ya one.



TDawgRex
Bureau of Intergalactic Affairs, Interspecies Revenue Service
Retired

reply to post by TDawgRex


Hey TDawg....you know you can't stop there!!?
I love sci-fi...such a closet geek, hehe...
Your character reminds me of the 'new' James Kirk (I just loved the last Star Trek, Into Darkness). "Never trust a Vulcan" lol.

More please?
jacy

reply to post by jacygirl


I was trying to channel a bit of Jim Kirk, Det. McClain & James Bond with a dash of Douglas Adams thrown in. That lil' short story sat at the first three paragraphs for almost three months. My writers block literally froze in place.

But thanks to you and your story, something was kicked loose and I was able to finish it. Thank you very much for that. Who knows...maybe we will see more of our agent in the future. (But not right now as I am still on my first cup of Joe myself)

a reply to: TDawgRex

Dang TDawg, how did I miss this one?!!? Very Kool story here! Great Job!!
Loved the Bacon Reference! LOL!!! Later, Syx.

a reply to: SyxPak

I particularly enjoyed pheonix358 response.

Maybe with "Writer" status it could have been the "Shed" set in space in a manner of "The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy." But with spies. LOL

Good job! LOL