A valid and disturbing theory on alien abductions

It is a cold dark night, you are alone on an abandoned road, suddenly, your car is disabled, you wake up sometime later, and find yourself without your clothes on, in the wilderness, with a very *strange* feeling.

Of course, the police show up, you tell them you remember aliens, and the doctor finds a piece of metal implanted in you heel, you try to tell them that it was aliens, however all attempts to prove such findings end up invalidated.

Attempts to explain this are met with support for others whom *believe* in aliens.

Here comes Resistor the sleuth - as a super-sleuth I run a psychometric diagnostic on your mind, and format your personality into a profile.

I study your behaviours, and asimilate my self into an "actor" - with the same profile as you, the abductee.

I take a car and modify it to bypass its egnition timing and emergency systems, I manually spool the engine to run, and remove the alternator - essentially, reforming the car to appear as modern, however, now, non-reliant on electronic programming - essentially a primitive internal combustion vehicle veiled as a modern car.

I install a "crank" to manually ignite the cylinders.

I install a top secret electronic monitoring device, that is able to pick up aberrant signals, especially those that are used by the police and FBI - Remote engine killers, devices that are designed to disable electronics on automobiles.

I have undergone stringent training to be immune to hypnotism, however I can also render myself into a hypnagogic trance, being able to create a farse that I am asleep.

I wander about town, a stranger to the locals, I mimic and iterate my new "aler ego" and mingle amongst the locals.

I inquire about tourist attractions, usually those that are only accessible by unsealed roads, essentially, outside of regular police supervision.

I get into my new "car" and take a drive after midnight, and pick up a "signal" and shut-off the engine.

I set myself into a trance and feign sleep.

I hear a the rustling of vegetation, and a group of individuals pull me out of my car, I later find myself in the forest, the smell of candles in the air, out of the blink of an eye i see a possum, and manage to catch a glimpse of somebody's boot.

I hear a series of strange "chants" and an individual attemts to remove my shorts.

I spurr up into a wakeful state, to find a group of young men wearing masks.

I manage to take snapshot of them with my minature camera, just as they had been shocked, studing the area well, I take note of landmarks and head North to the road - I also managed to spy what looked like a jar of iron filings.

I get to my car and crank the engine, just as they emerge from the bushes I drive off.

Later, the men are questioned, and it appears that they had been performing rituals on young men, generally homosexuals and women whom had carried chilren out of wedlock.

Their house is searched and a radio device is found, very similar to remote engine-killers used by secret organisations.

The masks found represent the popular "bug-eyed" "alien" caricatures from popular movies and television series. A collection of military-camoflauge paraphenalia is also discovered.

Once questioned, the leader admits that he uses an advanced hynosis method, very similar to those used on popular television shows, only, instead of saying "Is that me, barking like a dog" - "Was that me, being probed by aliens?"

Why don't those gay guys just have sex with each other or pick up some gay guy at a gay bar? It'd be cheaper and less hassle with the police. I'm sure some guys looking for a good time wouldn't mind the masks either and uhhmm probing.

Ever consider joining our ATS writers forum?

So this is your alternate theory on how people come up with being abductee by aliens? Homosexuals in masks?

Sounds like a b movie script.

Extra terrestrial homosexual CIA?!

Ive heard some things in my time but this one really takes the cake

reply to post by SystemResistor


Is this thread homophobic? You could edit your theory to include Satanists, and mad scientists as well.

violet
So this is your alternate theory on how people come up with being abductee by aliens? Homosexuals in masks?

Sounds like a b movie script.

It sounds like Grand Theft Auto 5,

This thread is an epic waste of electrons. Occam's Razor anyone? The OP has clearly never actually read any compilation of abduction stories.

Cinrad
reply to post by SystemResistor

 

Is this thread homophobic? You could edit your theory to include Satanists, and mad scientists as well.

edit on 20/2/14 by Cinrad because: (no reason given)

How about we make the aliens, actual illegal aliens..from Mexico, who dress up in gimp suits and masks with attached probes, hired by a rogue faction of homosexual, Satanist CIA scientists, who are part of a conspiratorial brotherhood-type-boys-club, hell-bent (see what i did there?) on world domination through formation of a NSSHWO (New Satanist Scientist Homosexual World Order)...that's much more likely.

jtma508
This thread is an epic waste of electrons. Occam's Razor anyone? The OP has clearly never actually read any compilation of abduction stories.

I do not think that means what you think it does.

reply to post by draknoir2


Sure it does. Agreed that ET's pushes the envelope but look at all the 'conditions' the OP factors into his 'valid theory'. There are thousands of documented cases worldwide and a minority involve a car in the middle of nowhere, young men or out-of-wedlock mothers. Most involve sightings, lights in the sky and generational abductions. Yet here we have a bunch of young gay guys with advanced car/person immobilization technology? Naaaaa. Fewest factors is probably true as bizarre as those factors may appear.

I'm going to make the wild guess that you may have been genuinely abducted and cannot come to terms with it and found yourself weaving a incredibly lousy tale to hide that unacceptable fact.

Whatever, I hope you get the help you need...with your story telling.

reply to post by MysterX


Don't leave out ponchos, waraji sandals and bandoleers

However this isn't how most abductions take place. At night in your bed when you're asleep and most don't remember but some are given more knowledge.

Wow glad I didn't waste time reading the whole diatribe but yea, not very likely

reply to post by SystemResistor


So your self proclaimed valid theory, to summarize "It's the gays!"

And it's disturbing!

Give me back the 2 minutes I spent reading this.

No, they are technically the homophobes, they use a tool that they insert into the male oriphice - it looks like a rod with various inscriptions on it - it is a ritual tool that they use to "correct" them.

When it comes to the unborn children, they consider them to be "devil spawn" and commit infanticide.

This is very serious.

reply to post by SLAYER69


No, you have it wrong, the use a tool to "correct" them - they are the homophobes.

reply to post by spleenika


No, they are a cult, they use the guise of "UFO's" as a cover for their rituals - they use a "rod" to "correct" those that they consider to be homosexual.

Hypnotism - participants can be made to think that they have superglued thier hands together - from their point of view, they believe it and demonstrate corresponding behaviours. When the hypnotist clicks his fingers they return to being in the fully-conscious state, and cannot remember what they were doing - likewise a target of abduction can be made to think he was abducted, and only when he is also hypnotised at a later stage, will he be able to construe the association to aliens, the assailants using key words to "overlap" the "alien abduction" farse with the actual abduction.

Remote engine killer: www.dailymail.co.uk...

This is a device that can disable a car, its a targeted frequency.

The obvious point with "evidence" is that we have to take their word for it - even if we are able to actually find an artefact and the level of technology required to manufacture it is beyond our capabilities, it is still technically not "proof" of aliens, to say it was a product of an extraterrestrial race remains a hypothesis until it is proven.

My theory is valid, because the events are possible and substantiated by factual objects and potentially actual behaviours.

reply to post by SystemResistor


Makes sense to me.

C.I.A. and NSA are full of homos.