posted on Jan, 6 2014 @ 01:35 PM
Here I am again, been here for awhile now actually, scrounging to find work. Been laid off since before Thanksgiving, apparently I missed making a
"quarter" for unemployment by a week so been going with one meal a day for the better portion of almost a month. I applied for a new job almost
immediately after getting laid off, actually probably close to 18 jobs or more since then. Well one of the companies called me last Thursday and asked
me to come in and take a weld test doing some stainless steel TIG on some pipe and a few plate joints. I don't know if I am hired or not, been a
nervous wreck for so long and didn't really realize how bad its been getting until today. I am not usually a defeatist but I have to admit that while
taking the written test I couldn't even think straight because I knew whats at stake, my welds looked good the inspector was happy with them but now
I can't even shake the feeling of that sinking in of your gut when now not only was the near future uncertain but now it is uncertain and more
complex wondering if I am hired or not. The last place I worked for was a pretty grimy outfit decided to bone me on my state taxes so they could
collect per diem on me and not pay it out to me as I lived 15 miles from the site they listed me as a Florida resident and direct deposited my money
to a bank I didn't want all the while making it difficult for me to view a pay stub and left me in a hard way. All I keep thinking is I don't want
to be homeless again, I have already sold most everything of value just to buy gas to go places to fill out applications, buy food when I need it.
I'm tired of being laid off every three months then getting hired back for a week just to get laid off so then unemployment will tell you to eat it.
I'm so incredibly tired of feeling like since I been home from the service that my life is amounting to nothing, I don't even know how I am going to
pay bills this month even if I get hired here. Sadly yet I'm not sure what I can do to even get the money at this point to even drive to work if I
get hired because I know even then it is going to take me 3 weeks till my first pay. I'm tired of getting boned by grimy companies, tired of feeling
so damn worthless all the time and don't want to go back to the way it was when I first came home, cold and homeless all winter long. I feel
defeated, almost everything I worked for I had to pretty much part with and it still got me no where, damned if you do damned if you don't. I hope
other members are not off on a hard way but if they are we got to try to hang on!