My 11 y.o. son called me a liar...sadly, he was right.

Santa Claus does not exist.

My son flat out confronted me about this issue a few months ago. He apparently knew for awhile but, just went along with it b/c he wasn't sure how to tell me that he knew I was an absolute liar!

He brought this fact up in a recent argument.

I can't even remember what the argument was about but, I just remember saying something like "I wouldn't lie to you".

He stopped dead in his tracks, turned towards me and said...

"Really mom, I can think of a really big lie right off the top of my head"!

He then turned his eyes towards a ceramic Santa Claus figurine on the window sill.

Sadly, he was right.

I lied.....

I had a huge problem with this when my daughter was young. My wife and I would argue over this because I told her if we start out telling her a lie then how can she ever trust us? Ultimately I decided I would rather stay married than be right.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

Checkmate.

He caught you, but he knows why you did it.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


I remember how I found out- had nothing to do with kids at school or anything like that. My parents had this large tin garage at the back of our house that served as a kind of 'man cave' for my Dad. Anyway, I remember it was 1998, I was 8 and my sister 6, and PS was all the rage. MY mate would bring his over and we'd play it so I knew exactly what it sounded like when first turned on.
We were playing in the yard and then this really loud PS start-up sound happened (you know when you turn it on and it makes a noise from the screen. IDK.). So, that was a clue. Then later that afternoon the rubbish needed to be taken to the nature strip and it was my job being an 8 yo kid and all..! haha.
Well, I went into my parents room to check the small bathroom bin and on the floor in the room was this receipt which entailed a trampoline, PS, random toys etc etc. So, I didn't say anything and just waited until Christmas day to see if these were in fact our gifts.
Lo and behold I'm unwrapping a PS on the morning so yeah, that kind of gave it away.
I confronted my parents and they basically said 'yeah, we lied but don't tell your little sisters!'.
So in a way I kind of felt a bit betrayed (shocked maybe) but in another way it was like our little secret and I felt privileged to help my sisters believe for a s long as possible

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

Dear MagesticEsoteric,

I started a thread this time last year on why I believe in Santa Claus. You might enjoy it.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

With respect,
Charles1952

Gahhh! Kids!

They have the ability to make you feel on top of the world one minute and push you off of that perch in the next minute. They have not learned to filter what comes out of their mouths when they are that young and you wind up hearing more truth sometimes than you would like.

I know that knocked some wind out of you and I am sorry for it. It is a painful thing to feel like you have let your kids down in any area. You are not the first one to be caught in this snare!

My husband and I argued about this when my daughter was younger. I decided early on that when my daughter got around to asking if Santa was real or not.... I would tell her the truth. My reasoning for doing so, was what you just experienced. My husband who seemingly believed in Santa until he was 25 was NOT happy about that. We had more than one argument over it. He was adamant that telling her the truth when she asked would end her childhood forever.

It didn't. It also would not have really hurt to let her believe a little longer. Hindsight is 20/20 after all. As I have gotten older, I realized that me telling her that one tall tale would not result in a loss of trust forever. And it won't result in that for you either even though it may seem so right now.

If you are anything like most people, this isn't really the first time he has heard you lie. Most of us tell several lies daily and our kids do notice. We answer the phone and turn down an invitation to Grandma's cookout claiming previous plans and your child sees those previous plans as nothing more than sitting at home like you would any other night. It doesn't take them long to figure out that you lied to get out of an unpleasant ordeal.

All we can do is try our best to be the best parents we can be. None of us are perfect and as our children age, most of them will realize this and not have to seek therapy because we failed so miserably.

Don't be too hard on yourself. He was telling the truth about you lying and that is what you raised him to do so you must be doing something right. He will forgive and forget just like the rest of us did when our dreams of a fat, hairy, old guy breaking and entering in our home to eat cookies, drink milk, and leave toys was crushed by some unfeeling dream crusher.

The year! 1979! I was but a 5 year old..the pirates won the world series.....and a fellow classmate claimed Christmas was a fake ideology...

Awww thanks now what do I do... still hanging on to a shred of of hope...
Classmate and older sister said. Ask for a lot. Only to the guy at mall.. don't tell mom or dad....not till Dec 24th
List includes....

1. Atari
2. Horse
3. Dirt bike
4. Pool
5. Pac man
6. Jet pack
7....you get the idea......

So when I got the 4th degree on what I wanted..and mom and step dad said that's a lot for Santa.. I said..no problem. the elves make all of that...

Long story short.... I hate those 2 crap cases and their parents....BUT..I learned to be a little less demanding of mom and dad..
Oh and got asteroids video game that mom and step dad purchased from something called an ARCADE...no Quarters required....Google it.... I learned that Christmas..my parents went through hell for me..now I return that love 10 folds..!

So, I was this "enlightened" dad who decided to be "truthful" about the Santa Claus myth. What do I hear from my grown-up children today: "How come you blew our belief in Santa?!!"

No lie. Go figure.

I should have known when I was 9 and all the kids on the playground would go around asking

"Do you believe in Santa Clause?" And I would always say "Yeah!"

Guess kids at my school were polite because they would always respond something like "Cool Merry Christmas!" and run off.

So Christmas day I just happened to notice "Santa's" handwriting was the exact same as my mom's handwriting.
I'll admit I was pretty stoked that I figured it out. I tried to rub it in that I knew and she begged me not to tell my siblings.

I'm glad my parents lied to me about Santa personally, it made my childhood that much more magical and imaginative.

Bit of a buzz-kill when I put two and two together that I had not in fact heard elves at my front door a few years earlier, that it was my dad knocking on the wall and then jingling bells when I climbed into the bay window to look.

All the same I love them for it, I had fun believing in Santa, and quite frankly Christmas ins't as fun knowing that your parents spend their hard earned money on you just for the sake of celebrating christmas

Kind of makes me feel guilty that it isn't Santa.

reply to post by The GUT


Oooooo....sorry...yes I must admit..Charlie brown Christmas changed for me. But what it instilled was a true appreciation of family.. It's about honoring my family values. What mom and dad will do for a child. Even if it's a little white lie....It's for the love of a child...

I can't speak for everyone....but think! If a child is able to have some happy thoughts and dream a bit..then the imagination can go anywhere...and imagination can become reality.

3d
Star wars/trek
A personal computer
Flight
Space travel
Silly puddy
Lego's
A puppy or kitten finally getting the love it needs instead of a Sarah Mc....commercial..

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


i laughed. once i stopped laughing i choked back laughter trying to read it to my wife.

little turds that they are....it makes it that much more fun.

I cant even remember believing in Santa Clause . I was always up to no good sneaking around my parents room at Christmas time. I was the kid who would unwrap his presents and play with them then wrap them back up before the folks came home. I would find the receipts. Ferret out all the hiding spots (in the luggage really? have to try better than that!) My brother used to beg me not to tell him what he was getting. I was nearly suspended from school though for telling another kid there was no such thing as Santa Clause which was really confusing as a kid because I was being truthful.

* Just remembered my grandmother would buy my Christmas gifts in front of me then tell me they were for someone else haha.

reply to post by NerdGoddess


Lol..after Xmas my dad went with it and introduced... some one broke in...,I shot him..... that morning I found half boiled eggs and ketchup blasted cotton in the kitchen .... son I think I got the bunny!

Awww dad...could you have let him leave the peanut butter eggs first....no... dad ate them....

NihilistSanta
I was always up to no good sneaking around my parents room at Christmas time. I was the kid who would unwrap his presents and play with them then wrap them back up before the folks came home...My brother used to beg me not to tell him what he was getting.

And just look at what a sick and sneaky one you turned out to be! Parents: Teach your kids to believe!!!

reply to post by NihilistSanta




It comes to parents vs kids.
Or
Iranian nuke brokerage.. who can manipulate who...

But Evan at my old age... just want a little Christmas lights, snoopy music..and a little reflection

As soon as a kid asks if santa is real, (the first time), it's usually a good idea to either shrug your shoulders with a wink, and/or just tell him the truth.

You'd be amazed at how effective teaching them a lie without admitting it's a lie is. (You know, to protect all those people that still believe it.)

Kinda teaches them how the world works at an early age.

Pfffft kids...

My daughters have known about the whole Santa thing since they started Primary school.

I however still try to convince them it's all true.

They are both teenagers now...

The lie is really just for me now. It reminds me of good times in my life as a kid and I fondly remember when my kids were young and would pick up clothes cause Santa only dishes out stash to nice kids.

reply to post by The GUT


They eventually began to do things like wrap phone books and pans and things to make me really work for it.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


I'm not trying to be 'that' person but I started a controversial thread a couple of years ago which surprisingly, is the most responded to thread I have.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

reply to post by NerdGoddess


I agree with you. There is 100% a guilt factor there! I remember getting presents that would have been above and beyond what my parents could afford but we still got them. Thinking back, I now realise how much they sacrificed just to make the kids happy and keep that little bit of christmas spirit going!


I'm 23 now, live with my partner, Toby, in our own house and the only kids we have to worry about is his niece and nephew (niece has just turned one and nephew is 5) who live two hours south and my younger siblings (two hours north), who this year are 9. So, they're coming to that age where they know he isn't real but still maybe play along. I don't know!! haha!

18 days to go! I hope Santa visits my house! We don't buy presents for each other- we spend the money on gifts on stuff for our house It's a present for us both!