Accidents happen, why should I be punished? Is it OK to push for abortion?

so you may think im a cow or what not in my 24 years ive had things happen u wouldnt be able to cope with im now at a place where im happish ill always ask myself how i could have saved them but i couldnt counseling would never work coz ive had things just as bad in my life ok

adults can speak for themselves unborns cant please think of its innocents

and mate most men in ur postion pay up and dont try forcing women into abortions

reply to post by Bassago

In all fairness things and "accidents" do happen, we need to handle them. You have no idea yet what this child might bring to you or the world in the future. Might be one of the best things to ever happen for you.

Yeah yeah I could be killing the next Mozart or Einstein blah blah
By the same token I could be killing the next Hitler or Osama/Obama (pick which one you like least) therefore doing the world a favour.

Im not interested in hypotheticals, all Im worried about is the fact that me and this girl arent in a loving relationship and neither of us is ready to be a parent let alone a single parent

reply to post by IkNOwSTuff


Then I strongly suggest you politely request a DNA test.

If she denies the request, then you can ask her why and try and get a reasonable explanation.
If she cannot provide you one, then you have two options... Both relatively hostile.

#1. Tell her that she can not make any requests on you in terms of parental support (physical and financial) until your request is fulfilled to your satisfaction. When so, the terms of your original statement will come into effect.
#2 . Court ordered Paternity test to determine your role.

You do have options... Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

If it does indeed turn out to be your child then you have a few more options as well.
Based on both your financial and living accommodations, you can request sole custody of the child based on your raising the child is in its best interests.
You will either succeed or you won't... If you don't it will likely be because the courts grant custody to the mother 80% of the time due to her being the mother.
But there will be a period of court monitoring to determine if it is the best environment for the child.
At which you should get equal custody...

Which means for you, you will have a say in the child's development, backed by the courts.
Which means she cannot raise it in a religion that you do not agree with.
If she violates that agreement, then custody can possibly shift to you... entirely.

So you need to be ready for this battle.

It is going to be a long painful one if she is resistant at any stage.

reply to post by IkNOwSTuff


well she is prepared so tough luck ur 30+ im 24 i got a child i manage im sure she can
and if u not prepared by 30+ then ur poor future with and kids and if u was so worried about peoples view of pregnacy u should have kept ur privates to urself

reply to post by supermarket2012


So your saying everytime anyone has sex they are choosing to become parents???

"How dare she not listen to me and get an abortion!"

Sorry can you please point out where I said anything even remotely like that?
What I said was "On the 2 minute walk home it hit me, How Fukn dare she or any woman say its not my decision!!!!!!"

Upto the point where she said I had no say I was "manning up" and trying to do the right thing from a financial perspective

reply to post by IkNOwSTuff


Wow.
I am so disgusted.
It's good you are not offended by this poor girls emotions on this subject. Very kind of you. WTF.
Why don't you leave her be and stop trying to justify it. You apparently could care less about anybody else's thoughts about anything. So why did you write the thread. You feel so justified in your rude callous selfish behavior that nobody else matters. Good luck with all of that, I'm sure that future wife and children of yours will be thrilled to devote their love to such kindness. ( sarcasm off)

Do the world a favor and please just get a vasectomy. Then you won't have to worry about your drunken booty calls ruining your life anymore.

kezzy24
iknowstuff pay matinance leave girl alone she can find a dad for it while leaving the father to remain oblivious to his actions

Why should I pay maintenance???
I have no say in anything to do with it, not even its fricken name!!!!

I offered to correct my mistake by paying for a flight and a procedure, I then offered to pay for a flight and medical care in OZ so it wouldnt be born Muslim. Both were rejected by her.

Sorry but if I have no say in its name, schooling, religious upbringing or anything else then Im not paying for it, if she wants to do it all her way she can and she can pay as well!!!!

Sovaka
reply to post by Bassago

 

Sorry... I call BS.

If the Judge made that ruling then it was an illegal one and he could have it turned over quite simply.

Sounds to me (if it actually happened), your friend was lying about the DNA test results (if there was one).

DNA tests 100% do matter and I strongly encourage anyone who are unsure of paternity, to get one.

I encourage everyone to get one even if they trust, something like a quarter of fathers are not biological parents according to some test done in a few hospitals in the 80s

iknowstuff

your financial help was moving her to another country which is wrong
because of peoples religious views on it which is wrong

religious are more against abortions not keeping pregnancy

by way im friends with muslims thats had children outside relationships and their not shunned

and Muslims are nice u get extremists in every religion so dont tar all muslims as bad

kezzy24
iknowstuff

your financial help was moving her to another country which is wrong
because of peoples religious views on it which is wrong

religious are more against abortions not keeping pregnancy

Wrong... Religious views are motivations for a great many things. Look at our history and half the decisions any religious person makes.

His views on Religion is just as valid in the child's upbringing as her's is about including it.
Just because she brought the child to term and suffered the mental and physical stresses, does not give her any more say in the raising of the child than he.

It's these out-dated views that have caused such a grief in our "modern age" parental systems.

He is right to say that she has no claim to financial support if he has no say in how his (possible) child is to be raised.

Apart from that... I think the woman is mad for not taking up a free trip to Oz and all the medical care and financial help she could want from him.
And to do here in the wonderful land of Oz... OMG is she bat-# crazy!

omg u serious lol yeh get out to oz so a man dont need to look at his child more like

and as jeremy kyle always say if u dont want to pay matianace put in bank for the child so the child cant turn to him and call him a dead beat

by way fiancee never knew his dad till this year never paid a penny for him all coz he wanted to find himself my fiancee told him fine least it taught me to be a better dad

kezzy24
pity they never gave u a taste of reality or how to act like a man

love how you thought me religious hahhaha im in uk pal i hate god with a passion special coz guys like u

Really? Your English????
For an English person you have terrible English writing skills, almost makes mine look acceptable LOL

My mother who has been asking for Grandchildren for at least 5 years is on my side in this situation, that right there should tell you perhaps your missing a thing or 2 in all this.

Im flattered by the level of importance you attribute to me but I have to ask, what do I have to do with you hating God?
Feel free to speak freely

reply to post by kezzy24


Kezzy, a 12 week old fetus (embryo?) is only two inches long, and with twins would have probably been even smaller. Miscarriages do happen (I had one) but you're being overly dramatic. Coupled with your illiteracy (my humble apologies if English is a second language to you), I can't see how you could hope to support a child.

In any event, whether it was truly as traumatic as you say, or whether you're doing a drama-queen routine, grow up and get over it. Nobody gets out of this life without some tragedies.

As far as the OP goes, yeah, you're a real prize (not!) but tell the woman that as soon as the child is born you'll demand DNA testing and that a lawyer will be involved for any claims of paternity.

You might find that your problem mysteriously goes away at that point. Many women are known to claim pregnancy in a bid to get a man to marry them, or claim that many men are the father hoping one will take the bait/step up to the plate.

Finally, what's the odds that a condom will break? And then result in a pregnancy after only a few 'attempts'? I don't believe any of this is as you say it is.

1: im dyspraxic and dyslexic not that u got a brain to understand
2:in england we have moden writing called txt so when u speak to people like u dont need to spell out whole words
3:did i say i hated god coz u no i hate god coz the twins
4:ur not important ur a grown man who cant controll his life enough not to drink and hop into bed with a woman 3 times

EXCUSE MY GIRLFRIEND DID MISCARRY I SAW THE BODIES AND YOU WANT THE DOCTORS REPORT ETC YOU INSULT MY GIRLFRIEND BY SAYING SHE WAS FAKING IT FUNNY THAT SHE HAD A MIDWIFE

kezzy24
no ur thinking about yourself u can support the child with what u must earn and she must feel responsible so let it be

and hunny im not on my high horse me and fiancee barely earn enough to live but we happy coz our child is happy

fantastic, good for you

Me personally I wouldnt bring a child into the world without the resources to give them all the advantages they can possibly have. In my opinion Your the idiot and the childish one.
What happens if theres an emergency? your house burns down or car is stolen and insurance wont cover it?
What sort of school will your child attend? what sort of medical care will they receive?

Your barely surviving financially and you have a child and would have more!!!!
maybe you shouldnt hate god so much, would you have coped with an extra 2 mouths to feed? would it have been back to mummy and daddy for help, or maybe even welfare?

Sorry but barely surviving, in fact anything less than positively thriving, is an irresponsible way to bring a child into the world

hello uk free nhs all bills paid for my child is highly gifted and i have university money saved for her so you know what my child is in a pretty good way