I have been increasingly dissatisfied with life of late and things just seem to be getting harder and I am beginning to have serious worries about the
future for myself and my kids. I need to know what to do and all opinions will be appreciated.
For a good few years, my husband and I have been financially stable as he inherited some money when his father passed away 8 years ago. We travelled
alot, even when we had young children and were fortunate to see a bit of the world, especially the USA. Much of these years were spent looking for
businesses to invest in and I always played an active part in researching the business, doing business plans etc because his English writing skills
were not too strong. However, being a mum of a 4 and a 2 year old at the time, there was one deal I felt too exasperated to get involved in so I let
him go it alone on one deal and to cut a long story short, my husband got into a deal that was basically an elaborate con.
A con that left them able to sue him and take all of his inheritance.
So we decided to come and live in his home country and have been here now for 3 years. We had another baby and I was a stay at home mum which I love
and having been a Nurse for 15 years I enjoyed being able to bring my kids up properly. Looking back my husband never really worked and earned a
secure income, it was me who had the high paying job with a brand new car etc provided. I figured it was time to let him earn and support his family.
So we lived on the rest of the inheritance while he struggled to get a job, despite having lots of connections and his family here. We had another
baby as the future seemed promising (big families are the done thing here!) ; he took a job as a Trainee Lawyer paying an extremely low income but
should have only been for a year while he passed his exams. Unfortunately he failed them twice.
He is still working for the law firm for next to nothing while forever trying to do business deals that just never seem to materialise.
Basically the money ran out.....I sold my car and got an older one for cash to tide us over. We are in a rented house with 3 children. I also just
sold the older car to provide a bit more money to tide us over and although my youngest is only 2, I took a nursing job to try to earn. The problem is
nursing is not highly regarded here (despite that i am v experienced) and I get very very low pay. I actually earned more as a 14 year old in UK!
I have done everything I can to help, I try to budget well etc but my husband never seems to come up with the goods! He has earned so little ever in
the time I have been married (apart from Inheritance) which is 10 years.
Now I have no car, I walk my kids to school every day, very little money and I just dont know how I can sustain the life we even have now! We pay for
the kids school here, we pay rent....I just want to keep the kids roof over their head and in a good quality school. But he just doesn't seem capable
of providing for us as a family! The last resort is to move in with his elderly mother who is a very difficult woman - my kids are terrified of her
and I just cant see us doing that - even though he admits that is likely to happen.
Before I met him I had my own house and car and job and supported myself always. I just dont feel I can rely on him and being here in the Middle East
I find it hard to earn good money plus have 3 kids!
The idea of just going back to the UK for a while just keeps coming into my mind, at least to give him time to sort himself out and get some money
behind him so he can support his family. I can earn in one night shift what I can earn in one month here! I cant allow my standard of living to drop
any further....we can eat but sometimes only just and I cant see how my kids can stay at school and we can keep our home.
The problem is...I love my husband and he loves his family but I feel exasperated by his inability to be a bread winner! I dont nag at him or
pressurise him ( maybe every now and then i try to pressure him a bit) and its very much a 'mans world' here so I cant do what I could financially if
I were in the UK. I dont want to leave him and I do enjoy living here but I feel afraid for our future.
What should I do ATS? What would you do? I love my husband but I need him to pull his finger out! I jokingly say that we will soon be begging for
money on the street but deep down I am really worried.
Is the UK the answer or does that make me selfish and a quitter? I dont want to be either
ETA: The UK is the country I was born and bred in and lived til aged 37! The reason for considering going back there - I have family friends etc all
edit on 28-9-2013 by Lovely1973 because: to clarify point