Half the time I don't even know what I want out of life anymore....

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a weird situation.

The short of my life story goes that I had big success early on in life. So in my mid 20's to mid 30's life was my oyster. Like I had it all. The big house, the new car, the hot girlfriend, all the toys etc etc. I lived large.

but then a few years back it all came crashing down. Big time. Now I'm left with not much. I drive an old car. I rent one little room off someone. The girl is gone, although my other gf came back.

But here I am, like working on round 2 of life so to speak. My friends all own houses and stuff and I sometimes think maybe I should do that again too, if I can ever get another business going. But I'm not sure if I want all the headache of home ownership again. I've actually come to realize that life is simpler in some ways having less in life.

Like it's bizarre, I just don't know what I want anymore out of life. I wouldn't mind living somewhere with more nature near by. I know I'd like that. And I know of a few places but all my friends and family live in the city I'm in now and so it's hard to just up and move. I'm not sure if I can do that. Like if I had no friends or family here I would likely consider moving to a few very nice places I know of. Possibly vancouver.

I sometimes think that I probably should start looking at the idea of getting a house again instead of living in this little room. That might be one option, or goal to shoot for. But I don't know.

What do you do in life for round 2? Do it all over again to keep up with the jones? oh gosh just shoot me now!

You need to find yourself, find out what your about now days. Reach deep down and find what you really desire.
Dont go doing things for the sake of keeping up with the Jones's or the Smiths or the Browns. Do what you want to do in your heart. If its not time to settle down again then its not time. There is no point in swimming up stream if your not ready. Let your heart lead you in your life's adventure.

reply to post by spartacus699


This time around, you know 100x as much as you did before, think how much MORE successful you can be.

My Round #1:

Worked full time, employed. Worked full time, self-employed. Double time, every freaking week, no holidays, not one single day off for years.

Bought house, bought some rentals. Had maid, had clothes washer, ate out every night. (No joke, EVERY night.)

Stressed out, miserable, divorced, sick all the time. This was from age 17 to 27.

My Round #2: (current)

Bought a smaller house with a bigger down payment. For average America (or what used to be) people would laugh at how small my home is, but the important thing to me was the big down payment and the small monthly mortgage.

Became a minimalist, sold everything I owned practically. I don't want things, I want assets. Made several thousand selling all my things, took a couple years (I went slow).

Won't work for anyone else again, I have my rentals, main source of income from writing books, I still sell some stuff on eBay cause I learned so much selling my own toys, I kept going.

Do all my own housework, laundry, cook my own meals, everything I do it for me and new husband.

SUPERB HEALTH AND HAPPINESS. LESS STRESS.

I'm year 5 into Round #2.

You can do it man. Less things = less problems = less stress = more happiness and health.

reply to post by spartacus699


Oh Golly Gee...If you don't have kid's ,get your grip together now at your age.I lost my life around 28.There is no freedom once responsibilities are about....Think about it.Take care and may you the right thing

Originally posted by SarnholeOntarable
reply to post by spartacus699

 

Oh Golly Gee...If you don't have kid's ,get your grip together now at your age.I lost my life around 28.There is no freedom once responsibilities are about....Think about it.Take care and may you the right thing

Wow. Great to see people like you peddling the 'After kids life ends' gimmick. I know quite a few people that are still up and kicking well after offspring. I mean, hell, look at ghengis khan... if he isn't a poster boy for motivational dads, I don't know what is.

For round 2 why not try the other extreme, rent or buy a small house near the beach or a mountain lake. Get a 9-5 menial job, do your 8 hours a day then spend the rest of your time sitting on the beach (or by the lake) fishing, and enjoying nature and the peace and quiet.
You can`t take all those possessions with you when you die but you can take all your happy memories of sitting on the beach (or by the lake) with you.

I had a good paying union job at an inner city hospital, when I was 35 I quit that job, claimed bankruptcy on my house and my credit cards and moved to a little island. That was almost 20 years ago and I`ve never regretted it.
just remember, you`re not what you own.

reply to post by spartacus699


S&F for the Monty Python reference alone.

I'm soon turning 63, and I still don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. I've had at least 6 different career changes. Owned my own business; lost it. Had a good number of jobs—some highly paid, some not. Now I'm doing a job I like, but that doesn't pay s---. But I keep it, because at my age and in this economy I'll never find another one.

Now I'm not even sure Social Security will be around when I'm ready to retire; but I don't have anything else. Somehow I guess I'll have to come up with an "income stream" for when I do retire. But I don't know what it will be.

But life is good. I have a handful of really good friends, and even more who at least wish me well. Lot of great memories, few regrets. Even my all my ex-gf's still love me. In the end, that's about as much as you can expect and all you need....

reply to post by ApolloBloodline


That kind of hurt from a no brainer...No....Maybe your advice is better since you applied eh...Take off eh

Half the time I don't even know what I want out of life anymore

Yes you do.. think about it

Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by SarnholeOntarable
reply to post by ApolloBloodline

 

That kind of hurt from a no brainer...No....Maybe your advice is better since you applied eh...Take off eh

I have a son and my life isn't as restrictive as you make it out to be. Don't play out stereotypes and paradigms as though they are the de facto absolute.

Sometimes I think I'm only sticking around out of morbid curiosity myself.

May I suggest a 'tiny house' (lots of stuff online about them, build your own), perhaps a business that uses a hobby or interest that can be turned into enough money to live comfortably? You can start an aquaponics business on a small amount of land, doesn't need to be good farmland, and make a very good living from it selling to local people and businesses; there's a young couple near me producing 1000 head of lettuce and other greens a week and other farm goods; that's 1000 heads of lettuce at 2 bucks a head... organic and very good produce. Done aquaponically it's not much work at all and anyone can do it. There's a guy in California making a good living that way out of a wheelchair. The startup costs can be minimized; try growing your own food at first, then expand.

Think how you can be a small part of the solution to whatever you perceive the problems to be. And turn off the teevee which is poison, and maybe part company for a while with computers too; too much doom and gloom will depress anyone.

reply to post by spartacus699


My life has always been round 2..

When you are born asking questions and realize grownups are not grownups, the world is lost.

So that was round one that I kept mostly hidden..

Round 2 started when I picked a purpose. I almost died before that point and if any one had asked I would have told them the world was doomed. Instead I just picked a point. That's the point.

I live on nothing.. Now that I know what I am doing how ever... I am happy.

There is more to life than life.

Maybe you like guitar?

Or to feel it harder maybe to grow?
You'll be ok man.

Originally posted by signalfire
Sometimes I think I'm only sticking around out of morbid curiosity myself.

May I suggest a 'tiny house' (lots of stuff online about them, build your own), perhaps a business that uses a hobby or interest that can be turned into enough money to live comfortably? You can start an aquaponics business on a small amount of land, doesn't need to be good farmland, and make a very good living from it selling to local people and businesses; there's a young couple near me producing 1000 head of lettuce and other greens a week and other farm goods; that's 1000 heads of lettuce at 2 bucks a head... organic and very good produce. Done aquaponically it's not much work at all and anyone can do it. There's a guy in California making a good living that way out of a wheelchair. The startup costs can be minimized; try growing your own food at first, then expand.

Think how you can be a small part of the solution to whatever you perceive the problems to be. And turn off the teevee which is poison, and maybe part company for a while with computers too; too much doom and gloom will depress anyone.

I thought of exactly that actually. Building a tiny house out in the woods somewhere. Living like a hermit basically. And or getting a camper van and living out of that. One day when I'm old and grey I'd probably do something like that.

Well I had a bit of a plan. I was sort of considering the idea of one day just living on a small island somewhere. Like going there and building a small house there. Well more like a shack. Then just live there like a hermit. Then when I'm there I'd hunt, trap, fish, and beachcomb to keep busy and to supplement my diet. Then when I'd get bored I'd just take my boat back to the mainland where I'd have my camper van parked. Then just get in the camper van and go visit the near by city. I have an area already in mind where I could do this. But I still have friends and family here so I don't really feel like leaving them yet. So I'm stuck in this dreadful city for now.

I found this video.... but if she only knew what the nazi's used that wagon for

reply to post by spartacus699


discover life with a new innocence. open your mind to the things that do not seem concrete or definable. hold on to love and positivity. i am not that old, but i have come to know very strongly that progress comes only through our ability to recognize fault. we are to start dreaming again, start imagining again, start living again as one, indistinguishable organism. we are on the verge of an awakening beyond the comprehension of average man. embrace it, and listen to the whispers, and the answers appear. perhaps, take an interest in lucid dreaming. i strongly recommend this for finding direction in life.

Hey Spartacus: You know...Ive been married 3 times, retired twice...once from 20 years in music at age 35...and another time from Universtity of Michigan Hospital....am STILL working in Emergency Response...and Im still not sure what it is all about. And add all the deaths, suicides in my immediate family and friends to that and.......

Once, at a wedding sitting next to my father-in-law who was in his 70's at the time...he said to me...."I'm STILL trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up!!!" (that after 30yrs as a City of Dearborn Mi engineer in City Hall.)

I can sum it up...as I see it...like this. "Life is for living". The answer is "to LIVE". Make the most each day and live it...just that one day....as though its your last.

Oh...and learn to duck!!!

Be thankful for the old car
Be thankful for the little room
Be thankful for the girlfriend that came back
Be thankful...for what you presently have
Some are not so fortunate

reply to post by mysterioustranger


oh just great ha ha

reply to post by spartacus699


I know exactly what you're saying, Spartacus. My answer for me was, I quit. I see so many people marrying, divorcing, marrying again, divorcing... What's the point? I did the marriage thing and the parent thing once so why would I want to do the exact same thing again?

It's not just relationships. I've seen the Fourth Of July fireworks maybe 35 times. That's enough! I blink my eyes and another frikkin holiday pops up. Enough!

Did the bar scene, the home owner scene... I've experienced everything I wanted to, and I don't want to do them again. Doing them again is just a way to kill boredom, and because we don't know what else to do.

Now, I work, throw my daughter a few bucks every week, watch shows online, and come here. That's enough.

Simple is best.

If I could hit a reset button -painlessly, I totally would. Sometimes you get everything you ever wanted and then realize you don't need it or that it hurts.

That's not to sound ungrateful whatsoever, it's just that life can be complicated.

It's like that line from Fight Club...something like - "Do you own all of your stuff or does it own you?"

Do you work to live or live to work...