Why is it the older you get the more you seem to lose your innocence - is that normal???

It's called maturity... growing up. The reason things were off limits or bad at age 10 or 20 is you usually could not handle them.

As we age, we grow and are able to deal with things in a safer, more mature, and compassionate fashion.

I used to be so sure gays were bad...now at 50, I actually have friends that are gay. They are not bad, just a different lifestyle than mine.

[SNIP]

One of the coolest things I discovered when I turned 40 was that no one would beat me if I left dirty dishes in the sink for a day or didn't make my bed... I was always so driven... now I am happy, content.

As a Christian... my faith grows from organized religion to more of the walk of Jesus... love everyone, judge no one, treat others as you wish to be treated, be humble, don't place to much emphasis on the things of this world... it is all just temporary... peace.

You don't lose innocence... you just become experienced enough to know what to expect. Now if you surround yourself with bad things and bad people... expect as much. If you surround yourself with good... expect as much.

Originally posted by AlreadyGone
It's called maturity... growing up.

edit on 18-7-2013 by Pop4life because: (no reason given)

edit on 18-7-2013 by Pop4life because: (no reason given)

reply to post by Pop4life


Sorry, but that has nothing to do with the OP's question. Here's why: by definition maturity is the ability to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive , and is not determined by one's age.

As far as innocent goes. No one is perfect so as you grow older you do lose your innocents. Here's why: I wrote conditioning sums up the answer of the OP's question. How, because by definition conditioning is The process of modifying a person's behaviour . Now if you think you have change your behavior from childhood to adulthood for the better. Than you are a saint and I would like to meet you. So still the answer to OP's question is yes.

Thank you spartacus699 for this thread, I think there's a lot of truth in what you're saying and the majority of adults either feel this way, somedays feel this way or will someday feel this way. I found more soul in your post (which would make a fantastic blues song if set to music) than I have in pages of other ATS threads or the internet in general, which helps me realize that I'm not alone and validates the truth that mankind suffers this condition.

My theory on why people no longer live many hundreds of years is because through age we acquire bitterness, boredom, cynicism and contempt (like Noah in his later years and many others). I believe our stay on earth is brief not only for the benefit of others, but for ourselves. Once free of this human condition through death, we'll stand accountable or forgiven (if we accept Christ's payment) for our thoughts and actions here. It is important then to hold on to love, hope, peace, truth, and faith as treasures far greater than gold, giant TV's, fast cars, fancy vacations or other personal gains. I find church to be very valuable in bringing me back to these roots because six days of the week we're bombarded by the duties of making money, performing menial tasks and trying to get to the next job on time.

We no longer have fear of 'bad' which is a blessing and a curse. We lose our innocence and faith in what we're told, but we also gain knowledge and control over these situations. I don't fear getting busted by the cops, but I also know not to rob a bank. We see the dangers for what they are, respect them, but sneer at the cops anyway because of that 0.0000001% chance that they could suddenly go crazy like any of us people could.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a person reclaiming their own soul, to remember how to laugh, live and love, then practice it every day. It makes a person no less intelligent or a pawn of the world, but rather free from suffering. I seek God's help for that, and He delivers every time.

I fully understand. Me and my family were displaced from our home last week and we were homeless for a few days. We stayed at my girlfriends moms but it really wasnt a welcoming stay. I am currently unemployed, 27 years old with 2 kids. All that being said, during this time, I did not have the slightest sense of urgency I thought I would have when the situation arose. I was very nonchalant about the whole ordeal, my girlfriend was stressed, my family and friends were pretty much disappointed in me for not being able to provide for my family, but all in all, I didnt really care nor did I have that sense of WTFness that I would have normally had. I dont know what it is. I went the last couple days really upset at myself because I could not display or feel any kind of remorse, or grief toward the situation. I am sort of placed in a stage of content over everything. Nothing seems to bother me anymore. Im to a point where I just dont even care anymore and nothing in this life seems to have the same effect on me as it use to. I think its part of the turning of events. Its the lost of material necessity, I believe we must all go through this change in order to become prepare for events ahead. Thats my take on it. My youngest son is 6 months and watching your kids grow up is supposed to be exciting. I use to dream of one day having a son and watching him grow up, learn to sit up, giggle and laugh. Now... Im at this moment and it hardly excites me, i mean I still get happy but not excited... Nothing is as exciting as it once was. It seems I am more of an observer in life than a participator.

Well I"ve given myself some moments to figure out how I'm going to write this.Some of those moments were spent on the toilet. The toilet is a good place to think.

What I think has happened with me over the past 10 to 15 years is I have lost my moral compass. I am not sure what evil or good is anymore. I used to be a christian when I was growing up. Several years ago I shed my faith like a snake sheds its skin. I transitioned from fear and passion to indifference and fact-checking. I now see the world as nature patterns. They might even be random patterns, without any purpose whatsoever. What made nature? Does nature have a purpose? I scramble to find a direction or a perspective that answers questions that plague me inside. But everytime I am confronted by an immense wall that I cannot climb or penetrate.

Is this reality good or bad? Am I good or bad? I cannot answer for sure. I only have guesses. I do my best not to hurt anyone or myself. I try to care about this world.

I am not so sure that selfless people die young, either. It assumes that selfless people will be abused and thrown to the lions and/or be hacked to death by cannibals in the jungle while on a humanitarian mission. I consider the possibility that selfless people actually live a long time. It might be possible that evolution favors them. Yet, is selflessness good? I'm not sure. Is living a long time good? I'm not sure. See, I have no guidebook that answers these questions. If reality is inherently evil, nobody would want to stick around, would they? In an ironic twist, what if reality is evil and what if selfless people do actually live a long time? What does that say about them?

Do I feel I am evil? I feel that I'm imperfect. I feel that I let down others. I fail to be a better person. I feel like I should care more about suffering and disasters in this world. In all this, I cannot say I feel evil. Evil is a blurry word to me. Reality is very complicated, so how do I define evil.

The more I age and the more I become familiar with the idea of death, the more I think about what I'll leave behind when I'm gone. I think more about leaving something behind that's constructive. If I were to die tomorrow, I'd not be happy if all I left behind were the clothes I'm wearing. What does this have to do with this discussion? I'm not sure, but when I'm dead, I won't have to wonder.

The definition of the word innocent is synonymous with the word inexperienced. That's why in court, when you enter a plea you say guilty or not guilty. Children are innocent because they have very little world experience. Thus, with age, by definition, you lose your innocence.

Sorry. Double post.

Remember when you were young.
You shone like the sun.

Shine on,
you crazy diamond.

I think it is because this society places
zero value on virginity until it is lost.











But it's not that hard to reclaim your innocence,
as it is only threatening and terrifying to your own ego.

I use the trick my Father taught me,
I treat those younger than myself as both
wiser and more aware than I am.

The younger, the more respect.

I think it's when we stop learning from the young,
that we turn hard, and hopeless.


Mike

It`s called growing up. As we get older we start to realize that a lot of the things that we thought were so important, aren`t very important at all in the grand scheme of life.
The older I get the more liberal I seem to get, maybe liberal isn`t the right word but the less I feel like sticking my nose into other peoples business. I don`t care if people want to smoke pot, I don`t care if gays want to get married, I don`t care about most things anymore that don`t affect me, and aren`t any of my business.
I realize that all people are basically the same, we all have the same basic needs and wants in life, we just have different ways of trying to satisfy those needs and wants.There are no right or wrong ways and people will make mistakes while trying to find the right way for them.When it comes to life, there is no one size fits all.

if all the people who try to tell us the "right" way to live really did know the "right" way to live then why are so many of them, crooks and liars?law enforcement, politicians, courts, churches, etc, etc all trying to tell people the right way to live but so many of them turn out to be dishonest,deceitful liars themselves.

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sydney J. Harris

It's not so much the loss of innocence as the gaining of experience, the older you get the more life lessons you learn. Innocence leads you wonder what will happen when you touch the hot stove, experience tells you it will hurt. Its the nature of living in a social environment.

reply to post by honested3


to honested3:

I joined this site to reply to you and have found there are many creative high-intelligence thinkers here, something that feels good to me. I landed on this thread because I was searching for answers to my feelings of discouragement, lately, with my view of the world (people) today. I identify, in many ways, with your thoughts/comments. My Christian history is much like yours. I know I could be posting comments to the question at hand, but maybe my reply to you will fit the bill.

To give some background to my following comments, I will just say that I have had a year of many losses. Coming from a Christian background I can handle/resolve my issues with losing people I know who were also "believers." My most difficult struggle now, though, is in losing a close friendship with a "non-believer." I knew, from comments, that I was having a good influence on my friend. Then, it seems, our "season" of close communication came to a parting of ways since we each made choices according to our respective beliefs that created a new distance between us. This has discouraged me because I would love, more than all the worldly things you speak of, to see this friend become a person of faith (again). It seems "the world" (people) has led (influenced) him away from the "innocence" he once had (as a Christian youth).

Some people say our "faith" as Christians is just a fairytale, much like the innocence of childhood, and we should just "grow up" so that we can see things maturely. I can assure you I have explored the "other side" of life in an effort to understand where others are coming from yet always return to my roots.

I also read the comments of spartacus699 about getting older as not being a matter of innocence but that we lose our trust of people; and then we see our own untrustworthiness.

With my experiences of this past year I have found myself very alone (not lonely) in searching for comfort and for answers. I don't know if these last comments will help anyone; but, for me personally, it has greatly helped me to take my "focus" off of "people" and place it onto my God. For me, after all the circumstances and "nasty" people life brings my way, He is truly the One I can trust in the end.

I believe we live in a modern world of many distractions that influence our innocence and our faith. I think the question posed in this thread "may" arise from a feeling of wondering just "who" can we trust in this world. If I can't trust anyone, (including myself) and I lose my innocence, and possibly my conscience, because "people" are full of it, then who can I trust? Am I then all alone? How scary is that? When we then start talking about fear, we move away from love. My personal belief is that love is the source we must acquire for our very survival as well as our peace. A distraction is just that, something that pulls our attention away from more important things. Maybe the question asked should be, "How can I minimize all the distractions of this modern world so as to maintain my peace, demonstrate love and keep my soul/heart pure?" When we move back in the direction of love, (something all innocent children understand) we can then trust again; we can trust ourselves, and we can trust our God completely.

Your comments, in many ways, reminded me of the book of Ecclesiastes; Solomon was also discouraged. I want to encourage you to "keep up the good fight." When we lose people from our lives, whether through the death of their bodies or the choices of their souls, God knows it all... most of all He knows our hearts. In the end, God is our true life-giving source... people are not. My prayer for you is that you find a way to take your focus off of "people" (not off their salvation, not from loving them, but off their reactions, man's thinking, what the Bible calls the "fear of man") and fall in love with Him (again).

Bless you,

Leia

That type of Innocence I think is ignorance of what we might consider the darker things of experience. As time progresses we are potentionally exposed to more of said darker things and are therefor less ignorant of them and though that interaction with them less innocent regarding there workings. For various reasons for some rubbing up against what you or I might consider the darker experiences in life may just leave a smudge of darkness on them for others they get filthy in it which I think relates to the old addage about looking into the abyss.

reply to post by leiatrish


Thank you for the reply, sorry for taking so long to reply, I had taken a bit of a break from the site as it can be discouraging sometimes. I don't know if you are still around to read this as it was a while ago, but your words offer me encouragement to at least know I am not alone. I will pray for you and you keep up the good fight too friend.