reply to post by littled16
Glad to see you enter the contest! SnF.
Do you want the good news or the bad news first? (Of my critique.)
Bad first, then. Work on your formatting a bit. You needn't construe multiple periods between sentences, one is enough. Make your sentences
complete, and it would be a better read. For example:
They told me I was just being paranoid, that I was crazy…..well who’s crazy now?
They told me I was just being paranoid, that I was crazy. Well, who's crazy now?
However, in this instance:
Will they just shoot me? Will they….
Your multiple periods denote a trailing thought, and is perfectly acceptable, as it is at the end of a sentence.
That's all the bad news. Now onto the good.
You've made a suspenseful story that highlights the essence of what we all feel at times, and condensed it into a twisted tale that had me enthralled
while reading. The humorous ending made me smile, and also realize that you have boatloads of talent as a writer. Very well done.
I'd hope to see another contribution from you during this contest. Your style of writing is smooth, flowing, and as any good short story, a bit
twisted, yet revealing the humanity behind the author.
ETA: It also helps if you post a link to this story back in the Writing Contest thread. You can see that I did a link to mine. With every story, it
helps to link to it, and as other members read the main contest thread, they can click on the links and read the stories easily. It's a lot harder to
dig through the SS forum to find the Entries, and a lot easier to read if they are all linked in one thread. I have a link to this contest in my sig
line, so I can always find the most recent contest entries, and stay up to date with the latest.
edit on 6/30/13 by Druid42 because: Added