Now that Bush is back in office and Arafat is dead (dying), Why stop at just Iraq? America, in short, needs to 'go for the gold'. Let's take over
the entire area, name it our own, and place a few McDonalds and Burger kings around the place. Would you like fries with that?
Let's look at a breakdown of the twenty-one countries that make up the wonderful world we like to call 'The Middle East'.
Well, to be politically correct 'People's Democratic Republic of Algeria'. Which theoretically, is almost half way there to being full-blown
American. Whenever we manage to take this little chunk of real-estate over we will have a nice stake right in the heart of Africa. Overlooking the
Mediterranean sea, Algiers would also give the US a pivotal position in the eastern-Mediterranean trade.
At the time of posting this thread, the headline news for Bahrain was
'WORK is well under way on an 11-metre concrete monument, which is being built near the Bahrain Fort.'
Enough said really. For those that don't know, Bahrain is an island off the coast of Saudi Arabia. So taking it over wouldn’t require that much
effort. A few air-strikes, minimal amount of naval forces, and Bahrain would be like the Arab Hawaii.
Apparently the U.N. recently found plutonium in the country of Egypt which is pretty much a ticket good for 'One Free imperialistic takeover if
redeemed by 2008'. Egypt would make a great addition to America. Sacred pyramids of Giza? Nonsense! Let's paint them red/white/blue, throw a few
corporate sponsors around and pretty soon 'The Bank of America Sphinx' will make front pages in National Geographic.
Ah, Iran. Do we really want this country? Of course we do! Matter of fact, whenever the 'Bin Laden library' of videotapes finishes emerging, we will
have enough evidence to start taking this buddy country of Iraq over. Or at least that's what we are going to tell the U.N. and the American people.
Status: In progress. No matter how many Michael Moores try to thwart our effort in Iraq, we will
takeover this country. And when we do, we will
hold the world in our hands. It's all about Oil, plain and simple. In a land of hunger, the farmer is the king. Hell, we even have a government
that tells people just how to
rebuild Iraq. It's great!
Come on Israel. Who are you fooling? You already are
part of America.
They claim they are a monarchy, give us about 10,000 military issued assault weapons and they will claim otherwise. In short, nothing really happens
here anymore. Of course Jordan has a rich history of violence, but those days are over. It's time for some environmental renovating. Ooh, and don't
think that Nike will not see the obvious enormous advertising campaign that can arise out of this country.
Hey, we already
liberated you guys. Remember the whole Gulf War ordeal? Which brings up a good point, just how are you guys doing after being
blinded by the amazing light of U.S. freedom. After a visit to the Kuwait Times
main story begins with:
WASHINGTON: George W Bush was re-elected US president yesterday, winning four more years to press his war on terror after a bitter campaign against
Democrat John Kerry that focused on the US role in a post-September 11 world.
Hey! That's not a nice thing to say. Especially when his dad liberated your country from Sadaam's Iron-grip. Look like it's time for a bit of
The American University of Beruit
. What can I say? America already dominated Lebanon, and we didn’t even know.
Besides, they have great cheese.
We are already friends! And friends make things really cool. Check out this statement from the Libyan American Friends
The Libyan American Friendship Association (LAFA) was founded in 1995 with a vision that the American People and Libyan people need to reach out to
one another and start an era of communication to pave the road for better relations between our two nations. As we follow the good news of 2004, we
see our vision becoming a reality and soon, all of us will start crossing the bridge from one nation to another.
What better way to say ‘reach out’ than to submit under U.S. Rule. Then we can save money of this really expensive bridge that they are proposing.
Thanks for the support in the war on terror. Apparently, Morocco was going to give the US an army of monkeys to aid Operation Enduring Freedom. Thanks
buds, now that we have all these monkeys…what exactly should we….do with them? Barnum and Baileys Circus anyone?
O-who? Garbage. We’ll give it to the French.
Oh, the touchy subject of Palestine and Israel. What to do? I say we take the two countries, make them the same
state, and just call one north
and the other south. Similar to the Carolinas. Then we can give them each a baseball team, let them duke it out ten times a year, and just like that,
problem solved. No one needs a peace treaty when you have Baseball!
Hey, these guys are awesome! They have a festival of fun every year…and I didn’t even know this country existed! And best of all, they already call
themselves a state. Rocking.
But don’t these guys own some of America? Wait, this can’t happen. Nonsense. First we need to destroy Saudi Arabia to the point of third-world
apocalyptic horror, and then we can talk about a ‘corporate takeover’. We’ll save these guys for last.
inadequate supplies of potable water; wildlife populations threatened by excessive hunting; soil erosion; desertification; periodic drought
Sounds like Arizona. No problem.
With the somewhat recent departure of the late president Hafez Assad, This country is literally begging us to take it over. And who would be there to
protect it? An attack on Damascus would make both Turkey and Israel very happy. Seems like we could hire a few hundred shopping mall security
‘rent-a-cops’ to do this job.
Tunisia and Turkey
I’m not falling for this. These countries flags are exactly the same therefore, they will be
the same state. Maybe with a name somewhere along
the lines of…Tunisiakey?
United Arab Emirates…of America
These guys get the point.
Rubbish, we’ll hand this one to the Brits.