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United States of Middle East America

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posted on Nov, 5 2004 @ 12:06 PM
Why not?

Now that Bush is back in office and Arafat is dead (dying), Why stop at just Iraq? America, in short, needs to 'go for the gold'. Let's take over the entire area, name it our own, and place a few McDonalds and Burger kings around the place. Would you like fries with that?

Let's look at a breakdown of the twenty-one countries that make up the wonderful world we like to call 'The Middle East'.


Well, to be politically correct 'People's Democratic Republic of Algeria'. Which theoretically, is almost half way there to being full-blown American. Whenever we manage to take this little chunk of real-estate over we will have a nice stake right in the heart of Africa. Overlooking the Mediterranean sea, Algiers would also give the US a pivotal position in the eastern-Mediterranean trade.

At the time of posting this thread, the headline news for Bahrain was

'WORK is well under way on an 11-metre concrete monument, which is being built near the Bahrain Fort.'

Enough said really. For those that don't know, Bahrain is an island off the coast of Saudi Arabia. So taking it over wouldn’t require that much effort. A few air-strikes, minimal amount of naval forces, and Bahrain would be like the Arab Hawaii.

Apparently the U.N. recently found plutonium in the country of Egypt which is pretty much a ticket good for 'One Free imperialistic takeover if redeemed by 2008'. Egypt would make a great addition to America. Sacred pyramids of Giza? Nonsense! Let's paint them red/white/blue, throw a few corporate sponsors around and pretty soon 'The Bank of America Sphinx' will make front pages in National Geographic.

Ah, Iran. Do we really want this country? Of course we do! Matter of fact, whenever the 'Bin Laden library' of videotapes finishes emerging, we will have enough evidence to start taking this buddy country of Iraq over. Or at least that's what we are going to tell the U.N. and the American people.

Status: In progress. No matter how many Michael Moores try to thwart our effort in Iraq, we will takeover this country. And when we do, we will hold the world in our hands. It's all about Oil, plain and simple. In a land of hunger, the farmer is the king. Hell, we even have a government sponsored website that tells people just how to rebuild Iraq. It's great!

Come on Israel. Who are you fooling? You already are part of America.

They claim they are a monarchy, give us about 10,000 military issued assault weapons and they will claim otherwise. In short, nothing really happens here anymore. Of course Jordan has a rich history of violence, but those days are over. It's time for some environmental renovating. Ooh, and don't think that Nike will not see the obvious enormous advertising campaign that can arise out of this country.

Hey, we already liberated you guys. Remember the whole Gulf War ordeal? Which brings up a good point, just how are you guys doing after being blinded by the amazing light of U.S. freedom. After a visit to the Kuwait Times their main story begins with:

WASHINGTON: George W Bush was re-elected US president yesterday, winning four more years to press his war on terror after a bitter campaign against Democrat John Kerry that focused on the US role in a post-September 11 world.

Hey! That's not a nice thing to say. Especially when his dad liberated your country from Sadaam's Iron-grip. Look like it's time for a bit of corporate restructuring.

The American University of Beruit. What can I say? America already dominated Lebanon, and we didn’t even know. Besides, they have great cheese.

We are already friends! And friends make things really cool. Check out this statement from the Libyan American Friends Association

The Libyan American Friendship Association (LAFA) was founded in 1995 with a vision that the American People and Libyan people need to reach out to one another and start an era of communication to pave the road for better relations between our two nations. As we follow the good news of 2004, we see our vision becoming a reality and soon, all of us will start crossing the bridge from one nation to another.

What better way to say ‘reach out’ than to submit under U.S. Rule. Then we can save money of this really expensive bridge that they are proposing.

Thanks for the support in the war on terror. Apparently, Morocco was going to give the US an army of monkeys to aid Operation Enduring Freedom. Thanks buds, now that we have all these monkeys…what exactly should we….do with them? Barnum and Baileys Circus anyone?

O-who? Garbage. We’ll give it to the French.

Oh, the touchy subject of Palestine and Israel. What to do? I say we take the two countries, make them the same state, and just call one north and the other south. Similar to the Carolinas. Then we can give them each a baseball team, let them duke it out ten times a year, and just like that, problem solved. No one needs a peace treaty when you have Baseball!

Hey, these guys are awesome! They have a festival of fun every year…and I didn’t even know this country existed! And best of all, they already call themselves a state. Rocking.

Saudi Arabia
But don’t these guys own some of America? Wait, this can’t happen. Nonsense. First we need to destroy Saudi Arabia to the point of third-world apocalyptic horror, and then we can talk about a ‘corporate takeover’. We’ll save these guys for last.


inadequate supplies of potable water; wildlife populations threatened by excessive hunting; soil erosion; desertification; periodic drought

Sounds like Arizona. No problem.

With the somewhat recent departure of the late president Hafez Assad, This country is literally begging us to take it over. And who would be there to protect it? An attack on Damascus would make both Turkey and Israel very happy. Seems like we could hire a few hundred shopping mall security ‘rent-a-cops’ to do this job.

Tunisia and Turkey
I’m not falling for this. These countries flags are exactly the same therefore, they will be the same state. Maybe with a name somewhere along the lines of…Tunisiakey?

United Arab Emirates…of America
These guys get the point.

Rubbish, we’ll hand this one to the Brits.

posted on Nov, 5 2004 @ 12:13 PM
Well, I'm fairly sure that your post is intended to antagonize conservative Americans like myself, but I do find it very creative and quite humorous.

Thanks for the laugh.

posted on Nov, 5 2004 @ 12:16 PM

Originally posted by Ambient Sound
Thanks for the laugh.

You laugh at the United States of Middle East America? How dare you, Guards!

posted on Nov, 5 2004 @ 01:14 PM
I don't find it funny I find this very much realistic and possible, lets take in consideration that US have a record of invading smaller and vulnerable countries and that is well known as using money "help" to other countries to obtain their approval, I see this happening in the next four years.

Hey why know? Iraq and Afghanistan will not be truly secured until we control the entire area, Right?

I mean how many of those country hate American, and how many “love” America?

posted on Nov, 5 2004 @ 01:17 PM




posted on Nov, 5 2004 @ 01:20 PM
Reason, your picture is broken.

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 10:01 AM
You guys didnt like this? Was it too idiotic?

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 10:07 AM
Bahrain sounds like a nice place to visit, I can't wait to take it

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 10:08 AM
Perhaps, perhaps not...matter of perception maybe.
Personally, I don't think it was "idiotic", per se', unrealistic would be more precise.


posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 10:10 AM
Well, if it makes you feel better twitchy read it and found it quite entertaining.
Don't let the neoconditioned folks here get you down man. As a matter of fact, I'd say an application with McDonald's and a subsequent transfer to Iraq might yeild a man a pile of dinars.
The point of your post is abject imperialism, and I say well done, it was funny.

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 10:15 AM
I did find it quite entertaining from the humor angle and you did put some time into it.

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 11:01 AM
Yeas it was quite funny!

Might have to give more to the Brits though and maybe one or two to the Aussies

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 11:54 AM
US and Israel are planning to build a pipe line form newly conquered Iraq to Israel.The middle east countries are going to love that one.

Countries to be invaded first,

Algeria, Baharain Egypt, Iran, kuwait, libya, Oman, Quatar, Saudi Arabia, Sudan has human rights problems of to oil, Syria, Tunisia,Yemen.

Countries that will be at the low end of the priority.

Jordan may not be cost efficient to invade their oil resources are minimal Lebanon, Palestine, Turkey, has no oil, Moroco only oil is olive oil.

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 12:07 PM
Agree on everything, but first we need a nice draft.

Good thing I'm flat footed. no drafting me

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 12:14 PM

Originally posted by aukaiman55
Good thing I'm flat footed. no drafting me

I'm also blessed with flat feet. I guess we got the 'no draft' card handed down by General genetics.

By the way, thanks to all for reading this thread!

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 12:42 PM
I am going to be serious here, while this is entertaining in a certain perspective, the fact that it is realistic, and actually talks of genocides in a humerous tone, is what unsettles and horrifies me. I think we need to take these matters very seriously, to get a clear sight of what exactly is being humoured here, what is being humoured here is mass slaughter, neo-imperialism, evil.

These are the types of things, we people should never talk about lightly, because when talking lightly about such things, we forget just how evil they are and start to become desensitized to it. I think the west at large, is already desensitized and dehumanized as it is.

We should be condemning these kind of actions vehemently, not supporting them or using them to entertain us. Please people, millions of people are dying because of our wars, at the very least you can do, is not use it to entertain yourself.

I seriously ask, just how many are in America, that actually condones this kind of imperialist campaign. I think there are enough. In the end, it's not the Iraqis, the Iranians, the Syrians, the Egpytians etc, that suffers, it's us, humans. Every evil that happens in this world is our own expense, and we suffer for it.

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 12:48 PM
Indigo I agree with you 100% the whole idea of this thread is to open the eyes of the people in here ATS of the possibilities of US doing something like that, we have to see the reason for going into Iraq It was not for liberation because Iraqis are dying so liberation it was not.

Its for control of the only thing that these countries have and we don't OIL.

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 01:49 PM

• we need to increase defense spending significantly if we are to carry out our global
responsibilities today and modernize our armed forces for the future;
• we need to strengthen our ties to democratic allies and to challenge regimes hostile to our interests and values;
• we need to promote the cause of political and economic freedom abroad;
• we need to accept responsibility for America's unique role in preserving and extending an international order friendly to our security, our prosperity, and our principles.

This was written in 1997 by some of those Americans call leaders. Read more here. and notice the names of the principals at the bottom of this website.

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 01:55 PM
Harmonius one that link and page is similar to Condi brief in 2000 here is a link to it.

It makes you think that they had all these in the agenda of bush even before 9/11. Very interesting.

[edit on 013030p://666 by marg6043]

posted on Nov, 6 2004 @ 02:14 PM
Same organization....About Yasser Arrafat:

This central truth has important implications for any Middle East peace process. For one spoke of the terrorist network consists of Yasser Arafat and the leadership of the Palestinian Authority. Although your critics in the United States, Europe and the Arab world suggest that you and your administration bear some responsibility for the lack of political progress between Israel and the Palestinians, they are mistaken. As Secretary of State Powell recently stated, the present crisis stems not from “the absence of a political way forward” but from “terrorism…, terrorism in its rawest form.” That terrorism has been aided, abetted, harbored, and in many instances directed by Mr. Arafat and his top lieutenants. Mr. Arafat has demonstrated time and again that he cannot be part of the peaceful solution of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. He demonstrated it in July 2000, when he rejected the most generous Israeli peace offer in history; he demonstrated it in September 2000, when he launched the new intifada against Israel; and he demonstrated it again these past two weeks when, despite the hand you offered him through Vice President Cheney, he gave sanction to some of the worst terrorist violence against Israeli citizens.

Does anyone really know whats wrong whit him? Poison maybe?

Guess Im not the only one who thought of poison...

Thanks for the Link Marg.
That FredT is a smart one isnt he???

[edit on 11/6/04 by HarmoniusOne]

[edit on 11/6/04 by HarmoniusOne]

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