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Dear ATS, I appreciate all of you: I hope this isn't goodbye

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posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 05:53 PM
Dear fellow members,

I have been lurking ATS for many moons, but hadn't registered until recently. Unfortunately I haven't had a chance to contribute too much to the excellent discussions by you all, that I enjoy reading every day - I try to refrain from posting unless I feel that I have something worthwhile to say

I am creating this post today (I think it may only be my second, though hopefully not my last), to let my fellow members know that I am unwell. Both physically, and emotionally as for the past 14 months I have been followed by a mysterious illness.

Please let me describe my symptoms:

Around 5pm every day I:
Notice that 2 lymph nodes in my neck, one below my jaw, and the other below my ear begin to swell
Get a dull headache at the back of my head,
Notice that objects I look at, all the straight edges begin to shimmer a bit and wiggle,
Run a mild fever of 99.2-100.2F
Lose all energy instantly, as if hit by a brick wall,
Become agitated, distressed, and feel something terrible is going to happen,
Smell ammonia, sometimes a burning diesel smell (which only I can smell),
Begin to perspire, the sweat also smelling like ammonia.

I have been self diagnosing myself, and driving myself up the tree and down the other side. First I thought Lyme disease, then I thought perhaps onset of HIV, then mono, then rabies, and then kidney problems due to the ammonia connection, and the list goes on and on until I was absolutely convinced I had every disease imaginable.

I have sought out medical help every step along the way for the past 13 months or so, and I have been run through a complete battery of tests - multiple blood tests including complete blood cell counts, bacterial cultures, spinal taps, MRIs, CAT scans, PET scans, Ultrasounds, sleep monitoring, heart monitoring, and so many more that I can't even recall them all to list.
I have also been to numerous medical specialists: oncologists, cardiologists, immunologists, infectious disease specialists, etc etc.

Everything comes back as completely normal as to be expected for a 25 year old, moderately overweight male who smokes. They don't know what to tell me, and are starting to refuse to even take further inquires from me - I've even been told that I am just plain crazy and should seek the care of a psychiatrist (which I did - and he believes me to be certifiably sane of mind!).

Despite all the reassurance from professionals: I know, deep down inside of me, that something is very wrong. I feel I am not only battling some strange disease, but also battling against my own mind's desire to give up the fight and to give in to frustration, anger, hopelessness, and who knows what else...

I don't know what I've got, or what the outcome will be, but while I am still able, I wanted to say thank you to each and every one of you, and I would like to let you know that I appreciate the effort you have all put into your posts and replies. Thank you for the laughs and giggles you allowed me to have. Thank you for sharing your highs and your lows - I feel like I have been right there beside you experiencing them with you.

I hope that eventually I will get better, but if I don't, thank you for all the enjoyment and mind opening conjecture you have given me. I truly appreciate each of you, and the creators of ATS that allowed us all to come together. It has been a very enjoyable and a very wild ride - and remember - don't stop questioning everything and *never* blindly believe the MSM

Sincerely, and extending my warmest regards to everyone,


edit on 14-4-2013 by hombero because: To add the swollen lymph node symptom

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:04 PM
First advice, seek multiple medical professionals for varied diagnosis, but it sounds like you have already been through the diagnosis merry go round. Secondly upon googling smells of diesel and ammonia can be associated with stroke, I would suggest, from an armchair perspective of course, trying 30 days of not smoking and a raw food diet. It is only 30 days and it may help. Hope you get it figured out and at times when you become agitated or stressed, try some breathing exercises, slowly inhaling and exhaling in counts of 7 for each.
Best wishes.

edit on 14-4-2013 by speculativeoptimist because: (no reason given)

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:06 PM
Hello brother, I'm sorry to see you in this situation and I'm positive that you will soon heal. Did you by any chance have a kundalini awakening? Are you familiar with the phenomena? Do you meditate? The awakening of the serpent does bring a lot of emotional,physical, and psychological issues to the surface. Nonetheless, I will pray for you. Take care and if you need to talk to anyone, look no further.

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:16 PM
reply to post by hombero

Sorry to hear of your illness. It almost sounds like some kind of poison is getting into your system.

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:16 PM
I know it sounds crazy..........but go to a chiropractor! Seriously.

Go for three adjustments in one week. Mine pushes pressure points at the base of my skull that hurt like hell while she is doing it, but two hours later I feel like a new person. I experienced several of the symptoms you described, (along with dizziness) and I feel soooo much better now.

I would have put money down that I had a brain tumor, (even begged my Dr. to scan my head, which reveled nothing), I thought I was dying. Then I got a referral to my chiropractor, and after 3 months I am singing her praises.

Try it, you got nothing to lose.

(Some also do acupuncture...

p.s. Let your docs know about any changes you notice.
edit on 14-4-2013 by Doodle19815 because: (no reason given)

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:25 PM
reply to post by speculativeoptimist

I was also thinking it might be worth a shot to abstain from smoking for a while just to see if there is an improvement, thank you for the breathing exercises tip - I'll try it out!

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:27 PM
reply to post by grumpy64

Thank you, I had thought the same thing, but I have tried switching where I sleep, installing a tox-box filter in my air system, air purifiers, I also tried changing what I eat as well to see if maybe there was some sort of reaction from something but to no luck.. I also tried staying at a friends for a week thinking maybe there could be "Toxic Black Mold" in my house - it is rather old.. But seemed to happen in the friend's house as well, which is only about 5 years old. I'm at a loss!

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:28 PM
reply to post by hombero

Good luck in this life or after...why the hell would you think AIDS of all diseases?

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:29 PM
Like others have said, see a doctor for varying ailments and get second opinions.
Change up your diet as well. Search on line for a diet that best suits your body type.
Invest in some SAM-e and colloidal silver.
Keep us updated. I wish you the best.

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:32 PM
reply to post by PurpleVortex

Thank you, I do meditate but not in an official capacity in that I don't follow any particular system - just as a clearing of mind and relaxation exercise. I'm unsure of what the awakening you speak of is, but I have felt that I have been waiting for something to happen my whole life and that everything is just sand in the glass leading up to it. I cleared my mind a few nights ago and told myself that I would like to have an interesting dream (which usually works!) and during sleep that night I had a very vivid dream of an empty desert with golden sand, and a swirling vortex opening up in front of me and the sand draining into blackness like water emptying from a bathtub, and the blackness flashed a very brilliant white and I saw galaxies and stars floating around in what looked to me like a very inky black liquid (space?)

Could this have something to do with what you were referring to?

I'm really quite interested to hear your thoughts on that dream - I had thought it just a dream but the most vivid and clearly defined ones I have ever had

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:34 PM
reply to post by chrismarco

I had actually forgot to list this in my symptoms - but I have swollen lymph nodes in my neck that are very painful and seem to begin swelling around the time all the other symptoms come, and then when I wake in the morning I feel fine and the nodes are down - I had read somewhere that this could be a symptom of the onset of HIV. (At that point I was beginning to be so desperate for an answer I was considering anything)

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:35 PM
reply to post by hombero

Do you still have your wisdoms teeth?

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:36 PM
reply to post by Doodle19815

Thank you very much for your reply - I will certainly see if I can get a referral to a chiropractor, I'm willing to exhaust every option

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:37 PM
reply to post by Doodle19815

I don't - I had them removed about 6 years ago, but it's odd you would mention this because my lower *edit* right jaw hole (where the tooth was) never healed up properly.. goes pretty far in but had it looked at and apparently wasn't anything to worry about - but I wonder
edit on 14-4-2013 by hombero because: Had left and right confused..

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:39 PM
reply to post by hombero

You shouldn't need a referral, just google them in your town and browse their websites. My chiropractor specializes in TMJ release which is one of my problems. Just call around tomorrow and see who takes your insurance, or one that offers a free consultation.

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:40 PM
I'd test your water supply for heavy metals!

Best of luck figuring it out though, sounds like you've had a tough run of it.

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:41 PM
reply to post by kimish

Thank you very much - I will give it a shot!

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:42 PM
reply to post by hombero

If you apply light pressure to the top of your head, does I cause pain?

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:43 PM
reply to post by Qumulys

I hadn't even thought about having that tested! Thank you I'll definitely have that done

posted on Apr, 14 2013 @ 06:45 PM
reply to post by Doodle19815

Yes, all across the top of my head and down into my neck a little. Also makes my vision tremble a little

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