Why taking responsibility over one´s actions is in decline?

At first, it may seem, although it is not a rant thread.

Blaming somebody else is too common in the world of today. There always has to be the evil guy, who takes the blam: whether the elites, government, teachers, parents, time or whatever other reason - it is a rarity seeing somebody taking the blame and accepting that something happened, because of his actions.

The teachers or the educational system are not behind a weak education - it is the kid, who decided to spend his free time videogaming, socialising inline. Nowadays everybody has access to internet or libraries. If the teachers are not doing the job well or the educational system is weaker, there is always an option of studying your own, yet I have seen nobody who blames themselves for their weaker knowledge.

There are too many overweight people, blaming government, poisoned foods, brainwashing commerical, their genetics and time in their overweight without taking a second look in their dieting or exercising habits

There are too many people complaining about bosses, companies, bad economy and greedy bankers in their financial difficulties without taking a second look in their spending habits, reasons behind high debts and reasons, which are might be behind being unemployed, sacked or not promoted.


On average person spends 4-6 hours a day for entertainment either in computer or television. Imagine what the world would be like, if everybody used that time for something productive, like development either personally or professionally, instead of wasting it on irrelevant factors.

We have been raised in a world of magic pills and success stories, yet at the end there is only one thing that matters: hard work, and not just hard work, but hard work on developing oneself. You may work hard on anything, although if you do not want to become better at it and just do it, then it is likely your progress is not fast enough.

At the end, everything we do adds up. Every single action we take adds up in long term:
Spending 4$ (seemingly a small amount a day on irrelevant things), adds up to 1460 $ in a year and 14600$ in 10 years. If that money was invested smartly, it may grow into millions long-term.

Every extra calory eaten or spent in a day adds up long-term and depending on one´s decisions at the end he/she is either overweight or in good shape. If one decides to go jogging every day, instead of watching TV, in months/years the results will be visible.

If one dedicates an extra couple of hours a day on something productive, at the end it adds up and that guy is more likely to get a promotion or not get fired compared to the person who decides for the new episodes of some tv-show.

Even goverments are chosen from people among us by the votes we give. The future presidents and CEOs are raised among us. Every kid in the society is influenced by everybody he/she meets, so at the end we are indirectly influencing the behaviour of the future leaders of our societies. When the future leaders and other kids are raised in a society, where taking responsibility is a rarity, how can we expect them to take any responsibility, when they grow up?


This thread is not meant to be a rant or a motivational thread. It is something to think about. To be honest, I am becoming tired of all the blame happening everywhere and probaly many others do.

We can blame everything and everybody, although at the end in 99% of situations we are solely responsible for whatever happens in our lives and we are the only ones to blame for our mishaps or success,

I truly hope, someday my eyes see a society where most people actually take responsibility instead of whining and blaming, although I doubt anything like this will happen.

Why is it so?

Computer games may play a part. I got 25 for 16, good score! I only died 16 times.

Actually, over time people realize that no one in authority takes any responsibility, Multinationals don't, Churches don't, Politicians lie every time they open their mouths. In fact everyone is avoiding any responsibility.

Computer games teach no responsibility from Shoot em ups to WOW. The worst that can happen is you get banned for a while.

Even war has no responsibilities. Drone strikes get less attention than a cute dog being put down. There are no repercussions for Police and they act as they will.

The internet is a place with little repercussions. Some of the things people say on ATS would get them a smack on the mouth in the real world.

Is it any wonder the world is going down the toilette.

P S&F

I think the big picture is that culture is falling apart in a lot of civilized places around the world, so basically the current institutions and world order have to fall to pieces before another one can be built -

Some people behind the scenes take the procession of the equinoxes fairly seriously, so since we are entering the Age of Aquarius, coming from the Age of Pisces, expect a new prophet as well as a new social order.

This may or may not be mystical. It might just be a human plan.

reply to post by Cabin


"Blaming somebody else is too common in the world of today. There always has to be the evil guy, who takes the blam: whether the elites, government, teachers, parents, time or whatever other reason - it is a rarity seeing somebody taking the blame and accepting that something happened, because of his actions."

Why don't you aim that rant at the politicians, bankers and media spin doctors. Of course corruption, cronyism, and war mongering at the top aren't to blame...it's us the powerless and disenfranchised's fault.
So we should blame ourselves for the mess we are in?
The rarity of blame acceptance is glaringly obvious as we gaze upwards at our betters!

reply to post by Cabin


Put simply being civilized is a courtesy. Giving a damn FOR others is a courtesy. In its pure form being correct is about doing what you believe in. "I wont steal because I will myself to be more than that".

Or "I give because I wish to not owe"

This is a personal choice. The problem is when people expect it like it is somehow mandatory. Worse when they expect you to be a courteous and civilized person in response to their incorrect actions. It is an abuse and makes you lose faith in them and the whole system.

If our leaders steal then why is MY morality in question when I choose to steal from them and the public that supports their ways. It is my choice to not pay taxes or give to the hungry or donate to what ever "cause" the same that doing so is.

My morality may even still be in tact as it is that since I believe in my choices I do not give my consideration or civilized side out for free.

I don't cheapen it. If the society that surrounds me is wrong according to what I believe to be the standard then I will not assist it in its perversion and cheapening of the heart.

We are mirrors and frankly the world is not worthy. We have given up on "them" the rest and us. Not in a hopeless surrender but in a cold waiting for your enemies death sort of way.

Did you ever ask yourself if humanity is WORTHY of salvation, civilized people, and true progress?

Maybe our leaders deserve us and quite possibly we deserve them.

We may not be worth it. Sometimes you do let die, you FOLD....BECAUSE next hand you will HOLD.

Know the difference. Let evil die if you truly value good. Good done unto evil is done out of the arrogance of the belief in ones ability to shape fate. Good wasted is as good as evil done well.

Are we worthy? If you answered in a knee jerk fashion you didn't think about it. We hardly ever truly do. That may be WHY we are not worthy.


Are you?

We are mirrors........

There was a program on TV the other night looking at how much sleep youngsters were getting. Some kids were playing video games till 3 or 4 in the morning, then waking up at 8 to go to school, with the little sleep they did have, being of poor quality. Then when they arrived at school, they performed poorly. When the consoles and TV were removed, the performance of the kids improved dramatically.

The thing is, you can blame the parents, who will blame their parents, who blame their parents and so on. Where does that take us.

Blame Sigmund Freud. He started it by telling us we were at the mercy of our unconscious drives and complexes.

I don't know on a larger scale of society,
I am afraid that my perception would be warped because I spend time on a Conspiracy site- which is specifically for, and attracts, people who are putting blame elsewhere. That might cloud my perception of what is the current trend out there.

But I can say that within the confines of my own family, there was a dynamic we watched happen that we're still trying to "undo" now... but habits are hard to break!

Basically, I grew up in the seventies, watchign the Brady Bunch. I believed that if ever there was a snag, a problem, a conflict, everyone would get together and claim their responsibility in it outloud. Each one would ake their turn proclaiming what they learned and will do differently next time. (then they'd all laugh and hug)

As I was raising my little brother and sister, this is what we did. I'd say "we gotta pow wow" and we'd do that. Nobody would point out the faults or mistakes of another, each one woudl search to try to get them all before anyone else could.

Then I grew up, I married, and automatically tried to do this with my husband and three kids. Years later, the fruit of it was this- I had a husband and three kids that believed they were unable to make mistakes and everything was the fault of their stupid, clumsy, foriegn mother/wife.

See, I would take my turn, proclaiming my fault, and then everyone would be silent and look at me. Then say, "Yeah, okay... now that you put it that way, I guess it IS all your fault!"

They never took their turn and I was taking the blame for everythign from others' messy homework to their breaking the lawnmower and everything in between. They just got used to NOT looking at themselves (which was of course the whole goal, and all I could do.... so used to looking within for my own faults, I couldn't even point out anyone elses anymore!)

This is relevant to the topic on the X generation, I think, because in this way, I ended up re-creating the same experience I had as a child, with narcissistic Boomer parents that never accepted responsibility for anything, and being their scapegoat was the only way to keep any sort of relationship with them at all.

So now I find myself with parents who never accept responsibility on one end and kids that don't either. (though we have pulled that out in the open and are trying to change it).

But see, this too, is my fault, as I explained.......

Just wonderign if other people my age may have ended up makign the same mistakes....?

Why is it so?

Fear and laziness—the most common human motivators.

I have to admit that being in my early 30-ties I cannot understand people

Taking responsibility for my actions is fun! I am responsible to put that thing in the trash (there, something productive done at least once a day ) I worked hard to pay my bills on my own (nobody can say that I use too much electricity, it's mine!) I work to pay for my car and I like my little car.

I got some money from my parents when I was young. I've always seen money as a means to an end. I knew what I wanted. I drew a plan and acted on it (which payed in ways I could not have imagined back then... funny).

I was taught that I really don't own anything in life expect my own actions. I guess it's a function of perspective and statistics. In a system that does not implicitly teach those things we would see the majority (the middle part of the bell) as the oblivious ones at to the effects of their actions. The people on the bounds would be the minority.

reply to post by Cabin


People are afraid to be held accountable, they are afraid of responsibility because it means they wont get the easy win if they come in second place anymore. It means they will actually have to face the truth.

reply to post by Cabin


People are afraid to be held accountable, they are afraid of responsibility because it means they wont get the easy win if they come in second place anymore. It means they will actually have to face the truth.

Originally posted by onequestion
reply to post by Cabin

 

People are afraid to be held accountable, they are afraid of responsibility because it means they wont get the easy win if they come in second place anymore. It means they will actually have to face the truth.

If people weren't so worried about winning, and instead sought for the winning of others, then this would easily stop.

If I seek for your winning, then I reduce myself. If I reduce myself, then I take responsibility. If everyone reduced themselves for each other, and sought each other one's win, and everyone took responsibility for all, then there would be perfect harmony.

Of course, we know that isn't going to happen here.

But we do know that there are some people who have this mentality. They are called the true followers of Christ. I'm not talking about your weekend warrior Christians; the self-proclaimed, the mega-church pastors, the new-age elitists, or whatever else other kind of self-proclaimed there are.

I'm talking about that guy or girl that is quiet, works hard, always does the job for you, is always walked all over, reamed out, hated, not always up-to-date with fashion, making choices that seem either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid, capable of interacting with your humor (which shocks you because you thought they were too quiet or prude to enjoy you); the people that refuse glory, and even sometimes get frustrated if it is offered to them because it belittles the joy and honor of their service to be recognized loudly in public; and if they are recognized, they are quiet, unsure about how to take the recognition, nervous, extremely humbled, and even more determined to keep their head down and perform the work even harder. They are the same ones that will be nice to you, and enjoy you, and have little problem with you; and if an opportunity arises, all of a sudden, they're speaking with passion, and liveliness, and they're enjoying a philosophical debate with you, and sharing great insights and wisdom that you have never ever heard before, neither saw things so simply or beautifully before, until you heard them speak. And then that puts you off sometimes and you hear too much and you don't know whether to love them or hate them. And they know it. And the next time you see them, their head is even further down, and they are not quick to act more like your friend, but even less like your friend, for fear of invading your space, and for fear of thinking that you woke up the next day realizing an offense that you had convinced yourself existed that you had not previously perceived.

They give and give, even if you have.

Everything they do is astounding and shocking to you. There is little to no reason that you could find a fault in them.

No, they aren't perfect. They make mistakes sometimes.

But when they make a mistake, or if there is a flaw about them, they are extremely self-conscious about it. Not because they aren't perfect, but because of the level of offense it might cause to YOU.

And if you were ever to see that one around other "Christians", you would hardly seem them rejoicing with them as much as you would see them reaming them out. And then you would be further confused. Now why is that one reaming those so called Christians out? I thought they were Christian? I am confused? Although, I agree with the statements that one is making, but I thought they were on their side?

No.

Christians are on the side of the sinners. We want you to be saved.

We are not on the side of "self-proclaimed" Christians, the weekend-warriors, the "I go to church and I am holier than you" Christians. The "My pastor has been preaching for 50 years, and I believe him" Christians. The United States military has the national guard. They also are weekend warriors. They meet up at home base every couple of weeks and push papers and train. Then they go home. They are not battle-trained; they are fed baby's milk. If you deploy National Guard, the enemy tears through them quickly.

Just like your weekend warriors, who think they are so "bad-ass"; self-proclaimed Christians consider themselves the same, and yet have no scars for their cause, and have no sweat on their brow, neither blood in their mouth, or callouses on their hands, or mud in their feet; they don't eat cakes of burnt flour; they eat lavishly all the time. Now there is nothing wrong with these things, except to claim that you are currently in battle, and yet these things you enjoy?

All of that is a different discussion for sure. But I am giving you parts of the answer. And yet the answer is simple, really; not requiring imagery if you have wisdom.

The world seeks gain for itself. Only those who are not of this world can possibly be willing to take responsibility for themselves and everyone, for that is against the nature of this world.

Originally posted by midicon
reply to post by Cabin

 

"Blaming somebody else is too common in the world of today. There always has to be the evil guy, who takes the blam: whether the elites, government, teachers, parents, time or whatever other reason - it is a rarity seeing somebody taking the blame and accepting that something happened, because of his actions."

Why don't you aim that rant at the politicians, bankers and media spin doctors. Of course corruption, cronyism, and war mongering at the top aren't to blame...it's us the powerless and disenfranchised's fault.
So we should blame ourselves for the mess we are in?
The rarity of blame acceptance is glaringly obvious as we gaze upwards at our betters!

There have always been corrupt people out there, although there have always been succesful people who are not successful because of corruption. How does the actions of government directly affect your life. People with certain mindsets are always successful whatever the circumstances. People who have high skills and strong people skills are nearly never without job...

Yes, the governments and banks screwed up and many people are unemployed. Although even those unemployed people are usually unemployed because of their own. There are too many unemployed people who did not not work hard during school time or passed by or decided not to pursue higher education and now they blame government on their misfortunes... Highly skilled workers are always in demand. Despite the high unemployment rate, there is a deficiency of highly skilled workers. After my Bachelor´s course, every person, who hard had no problem finding the job. Only the ones who tried to get by as easily as possible had troubles finding a job, some even went to another field. They had simply had no skills or knowledge.

A typical unemployed person round here:
Somehow got by the high-school, did not get accepted to college, went for a sales job/construction. Did well during the economic boom. During crisis they were sacked and now they blame government instead blaming themselves for not getting a good education or not having enough skills.

A typical day of an unemployed person:
During first days sends out CVs and registers themselves as unemployed. After that they spend their days, checking mail once a day, waiting for offers. The rest of the time is spent mostly on entertainment, not trying to go on different free trainings, learn some new things, develop themselves etc.

Of course it is not about all unemployed people, although too many people are unemployed because of their past decisions and government has nothing to do with their previous laziness to not pursue high skills in anything, your low skillset or bad personality.

This was just an example about unemployment...

reply to post by TarzanBeta


Hmm... interesting point of view, although I would not agree with it.

Taking responsibility has nothing to do with reducing oneself. It has nothing to do with perfectionism. It has nothing to do with taking the blame of others.

Taking responsibility is accepting that your decisions led yourself to the point where you are, whether in short-term or long-term, not the decisions of others.

Mistakes are not bad. Ignoring you mistakes is bad, so is pitying yourself over them. The only way to move on is by accepting the mistakes, learning from them and moving on without ever doing the same mistake again. We can not set back time After all, nobody is perfect and in order to find out your weaknesses, you need to make mistakes.

Originally posted by Cabin
reply to post by TarzanBeta

 

Hmm... interesting point of view, although I would not agree with it.

Taking responsibility has nothing to do with reducing oneself. It has nothing to do with perfectionism. It has nothing to do with taking the blame of others.

Taking responsibility is accepting that your decisions led yourself to the point where you are, whether in short-term or long-term, not the decisions of others.

Mistakes are not bad. Ignoring you mistakes is bad, so is pitying yourself over them. The only way to move on is by accepting the mistakes, learning from them and moving on without ever doing the same mistake again. We can not set back time After all, nobody is perfect and in order to find out your weaknesses, you need to make mistakes.

Interesting.

Jesus took responsibility for our mistakes.

When someone beats us over the head with a stick, do we beat them over the head with a stick back? Or do we say, "It's okay, I forgive you. But, um, ow, that really hurts, do you mind quitting it?"

So when we forgive, we take responsibility upon ourselves. We have said, This sin is not upon you; it is upon me, for I suffered it, and you did not.

If you think it is enough to only take responsibility for yourself, then you haven't begun to take responsibility for yourself yet. For you cannot take responsibility for yourself without also choosing to take responsibility for all of those around you.

You create a world in which every individual is their own friend. Even sinners do this.

I create a world in which every individual is friend and brother and sister to everybody else. That is the strength of true governance.