Ladies, be aware of your surroundings!!!

I dunno guys, common sense and natural instincts tell me not to pick up hitchhikers or get lifts from random strangers that I've never met. I'm a guy.

reply to post by ValentineWiggin

I have 2 comments on this post:

Firstly: you are so paranoid that you habitually scope out a gas station (and its staff) before you get out of your car, and yet you pick up hitch-hikers and spend the night in hotels with people who you have known for less than a day. OK - each to his own, I guess, but I don't suppose I am the only one here who queries this aspect of your judgement.

Secondly: the hitch-hiker. I can think of at least 3 reasons why you didn't see him (your attention was focused on the gas station itself as you pulled in, he had been there all along but was momentarily in the woods answering a call of nature before his next lift came along, and he was dropped off by another motorist while you were paying for your gas / digging through all your crap). I hope you're not a judge. Seriously, though, leave the next hitch-hiker for the car behind. Your intuition only has to let you down once.

This can go the other way too. By this I mean, guys if you see a woman walking alone, or just alone in general, you have to go out of your way to come across as non threatening as possible to prevent unnecessary trouble.

Examples:

1. One day at a parking garage elevator, I was trying to be a gentleman and let the lady on first, but she refused to get on until after I did. One time a lady refused to press her floor button until after I pressed my floor.

Lesson learned: now days I don't even get on the elevator if a lady is by herself going on it if I can help it. I just wait for the next one.

2. Another parking garage incident, I'm walking in the garage towards my vehicle which happened to be near a lady who was walking by herself vehicle. She had her hand on her phone, and was looking back every so often and started to speed up her pace.

Lesson learned: if I see a situation like this about to occur. I slow down, or even pretend like I'm talking on my phone and stop and let the lady go on her merry way.

3. Standing on the sidewalk waiting to cross an intersection. Car approaches and I hear the notorious thunk of the automatic car locks being engaged.

Lesson learned: don't stand so close to the curb when crossing the street; only get close to it when the light changes or it is safe to cross.

I could go on forever with these, but those are just a few pertinent examples of what men could do to appear less threatening.

I don't blame any of the women in this scenario for their reactions because we live in a crazy society, and a lone woman in a dark quiet place with no witnesses around is a prime target.

With that being said, men you have to be careful not to put yourself to be in a position where a woman feels threatened enough to pepper spray you, or worse.

Nice thread OP.

reply to post by majesticgent


You have my personal thanks, though we will likely never meet, for being so conscientious. Its testament though, to how cautious people (women) are becoming. They shouldn't have had to be, had the threat of violence and violent acts towards women not been so prevalent.

Back in the mid-80's (when I was but a youngster at 24), my best friend and I went on a trip to Mexico. While in Puerta Vallarta, we met a man at our hotel during breakfast, who seemed very nice and friendly. He was a local businessman (he said), and we told him lots about ourselves during the conversation. The next day, while we were hanging out at the beach in front of the hotel, the man found us. He had brought a fellow "businessman" - who spoke no English, by the way -- with him. He asked us to go with them on a car tour around the area countryside. My friend stupidly said "Sure!".

I immediately felt something amiss here, so I asked my friend to go with me to swim in the ocean. When we got out there by ourselves, I told her she was crazy to agree to go off with these men in a strange country. I told her under no circumstances was I going with them in a car. She agreed it might not be the smartest thing to do, so when we got back to the beach, she told them that we had some other things planned to do that she had forgotten about, so we couldn't go. Well, I'm sure the guy figured out what we had discussed - and he seemed VERY pissed off. He tried changing our mind for a good hour, until my friend finally got irritated with him and told him to get lost. He and his friend finally left.

When I heard about the Natalee Halloway story, I thought about that trip to Mexico. Those guys might have been totally harmless, but I'm glad we never had the chance to find out. Better safe than sorry....

Please don't pick up hitch hikers even if your intuition says they are ok. You just never know and all it would take is one mistake to get in trouble.

reply to post by kaylaluv


In a very similar note, I was working in a factory about 8 years ago for an agency. They picked me up at 5am, I would work till 6pm, and get taken home again.
One day, they put me on a machine with this guy, who I have to say, was the pig of pigs. He spent the whole morning sexually harassing me, asking me to f--- him in his car, rate his looks, and when I refused, he started insulting me and being nasty to me. It was such a horrible experience, that at lunch, he gave me his card key so I could get to the staff area, I binned my overalls and head gear, and my ear plugs and I grabbed my stuff and walked out the door. I threw his card in a field.
The issue wasn't him. It was now that I was about 20 miles from home, with no money, no transport, and my battery on my phone was dead.

Since the factory was on an industrial estate, there was a cafe cabin which sold food to everyone who worked in the area. I went in but I was worried that I'd get into trouble for walking out of work 6 hours early if I told the truth, so I said that I was coming back from the nearby city with my Dad, who then kicked me out of the car on the way home after an argument about getting a job. The cafe manager sat me down, and gave me a drink and let me use the phone, but after trying to phone everyone with a car I could from memory, no-one answered so I was literally stuck.

After about half an hour, this guy came in. He was told by the cafe owner that I was stranded, and he offered to drive me home, despite living in the complete opposite direction. That alone rang bells, but I wouldn't have got home any other way (parents don't drive and weren't even in the country, other half didn't have a car), so I accepted.
Memory is a bit fuzzy on the way home, since it was such a long time ago now, but I made it home in once piece. That's not the worst bit...

The worst bit is, the next morning at 8am, I left to go sign up at the agency for a new placement at another factory, the man who had driven me home who incidentally lived 45 miles away... was walking around a street from my house (I was careful to have him drop me off a road away from my actual street)... he smiled at me, and I immediately turned back and went home and locked the door.

Good for you in trusting your gut, you never know anymore sometimes it's so hard to tell by face value.

I remember when I was 15 and a runaway I needed to get to my friends on the other side of town. I was wandering around aimlessly until I saw a guy sitting in the middle of a parking lot by himself so I knocked on his window and asked for a ride.
He gave me one but he made it very very clear to me that what I did was super dangerous and that had he wanted to he could have raped me and murdered me and no one would have been the wiser, he seemed very irate with me. Scared the piss out of me, I learned my lesson right then and there. Always was glad that I picked that guy to hitch a ride from though he was scary he still dropped me off unharmed.

Still having thought about it I wonder wtf he was doing in a dark parking lot at 3am by himself in the first place.

Trust your gut ladies and gents, call a friend and dont ride alone if you dont need to and if you must be alone bring a dog along for the ride.

reply to post by ValentineWiggin

Good post, OP. Thank you for sharing your experience with members here.

A couple of members have mentioned in replies that men also need to be wary, and this is true. But the sad and simple fact remains, females travelling alone are generally at greater risk than males travelling alone.

That's why I don't see your precautionary behaviour as paranoid. I see it as a reasonable reaction to what can be a very dangerous world. Far better to adopt a "protective behavior" approach than simply believe that the nasty things we see reported almost every day won't happen to us personally.

I am a male in my 50s but I am still very cautious and selective about hitch-hikers. Seeing as I almost always travel with my wife in the passenger seat (as we only use the car to go out of town), it's always a joint decision on whether we'll stop for someone or not. If either of us doesn't feel good about it, then we won't stop.

Going with your gut feelings is major. Intellectual analysis combined with social conditioning might say that the fairly well-dressed, hitch-hiking young guy (or woman) is more likely "safe", whereas the rough-looking person is less likely so. Trouble is, that sort of profiling has a major downside, because someone who intends to do harm to you or another random victim who stops for them may also understand this social perception and adopt an appearance to look "harmless". (And yes, plenty of the "rough-looking" types wouldn't hurt a fly.)

Simply put, how a person looks may mean very little. We don't know what's going on inside their heads, so unless they're acting totally crazy (in which case you obviously don't stop for them!), you either go with your instinct or not stop for anyone at all.

reply to post by ObservingYou


Where do you live that Asians are trolling buses for kidnapping victims? ...glad you're ok.