posted on Mar, 6 2013 @ 06:46 AM
For the past few years, my husband and I have tried different fertility treatments, all to no avail. These are expensive and we can no longer afford
to continue them. So, it looks like no more babies for me (i have a son).
So our next step is to consider adoption, hence this post. I'm interested in talking with people who've adopted children. I have some legal and
personal questions to ask, and I'm hoping you may have advice that I can use.
If we adopt, we want to adopt an infant, and even though it costs more to adopt a child from the US, we will do so. Nothing wrong with adopting from
other countries, but I feel better adopting one from my own country. There's a need here for parents.
I'm afraid of the legal brouhaha that you see on those television docudramas. If we adopt, can the birth parents sue for custody? That would be a
nightmare beyond belief and one I do NOT want to face.
How do you determine if a child has any special needs (for example, the mother was a drug addict, fetal alcohol syndrome, etc)? I don't mean to
sound callous, all children are precious, but we cannot afford to adopt a child with severe problems. Is there a way to vet the mother's pregnancy
habits? Or is it just luck of the draw?
And this next question is going to make me sound like a horrible person, but if I don't consider it, then I'm not being honest with myself. In my
pregnancy, I bonded so much with my son. That bond is amazing, and one of the reasons I wanted to become pregnant again. I loved every minute of my
pregnancy (except for the heartburn and the last couple of weeks).
Is it easy to bond with a newborn? I know I can love the baby, that's not a problem. But can I form that same bond I have with my son? The LAST
thing we want to do is bring a child into our family and have him or her sense a difference. How do you deal with this? Does it naturally happen?
I appreciate any and all advice. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart.