Godless mom strikes a chord with parents

reply to post by luciddream


luciddream
I agree to waiting for the child to be older to talk about this subject..All i got out of it at a young age was God was someone that was nice to people and liked animals and was with us all the time even though we couldn't see him and i always thought that was a bit weird but never asked about it he was like a magical super hero..
Thanks for posting appreciate it..peace,sugarcookie1

reply to post by sugarcookie1


Thanks sugarcookie for posting an interesting story. As I read the article in your link I was first bewildered by this comment:

For over a year, I lied to him and made up stories that I didn’t believe about heaven. Like most parents, I love my child so much that I didn’t want him to be scared. I wanted him to feel safe and loved and full of hope. But the trade-off was that I would have to make stuff up, and I would have to brainwash him into believing stories that didn’t make sense, stories that I didn’t believe either.

She admittedly lied to her child because she didn't want him to be scared. I find this incredible. You mean as a parent, and truly not believing in something such as Religion, that they would go ahead and lie, make up stories that were untrue all in the name of protecting the child? You see what I'm saying? Why not tell your child the truth that you believe in right up front? Why perpetuate a perceived lie on an innocent child.

Then she goes on to explain how extreme she was in these lies by actually saying that she "branwashed" her child. I mean, how wrong is that? To do such a thing when you describe yourself that what you are actually teaching your child something that you are strongly against and think is a bunch of lies?

Now I absolutely do not agree with the woman at all who wrote the blog/article. But that would be for another thread.

I just find it simply appalling that a mother would do something so wrong to the pysche of a young, innocent and impressionalbe child, and then admit that what she did was to protect him from being scared, to feel loved and full of hope!! A total oxymoron!!

Peace!! ID

reply to post by ItDepends


Do you have such feelings about people that play the santa game, or the tooth fairie game, or the easter bunny game? No real reason for those, other than some fun. I do not think lowly of a lady that tried to help her kid not be afraid.....

When I have children I won't raise them into a religion/belief. Once they are old enough, I will explain to them what religion is and I will tell them the history of religion. At the same time I will guide them. It will be up to them to decide what they want to believe in. Not what i want them to believe.

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by ItDepends

 

Do you have such feelings about people that play the santa game, or the tooth fairie game, or the easter bunny game? No real reason for those, other than some fun. I do not think lowly of a lady that tried to help her kid not be afraid.....

Thanks TKDRL, I certainly get your point, but the huge difference between the mother of the article and what you just stated, is the motivation and intention - FUN!! Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, I assume are all done in good spirits and not from a parent that believes they are lying to their children, but allow the kids to enjoy, what is obviously perceived by the parent an acceptable tradition. Do you see the difference?

This mother goes out of her way to strongly state that what she professed to her child were beliefs that were against everything she believes and were all lies....deceit and again brainwash.....Why not raise your child in an environment of love, compassion, tolerance, respect without breathing a word about Religion, Faith or God if that is how they feel. Then at the right time, explain to the child that there are altering beliefs/opinions that give people hope.

My take is that there was a more mature and nurturing way of handling the childs safety, hope, love and wellbeing without telling lies that are apparently abhorrent to the beliefs of the parent/guardian of the child.

Peace!! ID

I agree, kids need to understand things using facts not another imaginary friends that they lose faith in em eventually,
if grown men went to war over who's imaginary friend was better what you think the world we live in would look like.... oh wait...
ya religion should just be forgotten bout, it's a crutch

I sympathize with those who don't know anything beyond their physical bodies, but I do know of existence beyond the physical body. Although I can't prove it to you, my wife and another friend know, since we shared experiences. I have left my body and had psychic experiences, some deliberate, of telepathy, precognition and clairvoyance. These have inspired me to compare my experiences with those of mystics of all sorts. I do not believe in the usual warped idea of God promulgated by most major Western religions, which I agree is a travesty to all humans, and so don't teach that to my children. But it is possible to know that there is life beyond death, that we are all connected by one great mind. In fact, we are a subset of that one great mind, and that physical existence is some sort of illusion.

reply to post by ItDepends


When I was a kid, I used to have a lot of problems with the dark. My grandmother gave be this, thingie, it was like a crystal half sphere, used to magnify small text. She told me it was magical and would keep anything bad away that I couldn't see in the dark, as long as it was near me. Obviously she knew it was a lie, but did it with good intentions. I think the principal is the same really.

It's not on the same malicious level as say, telling your kid the boogeyman will come out of your closet and eat your eyeballs at night if you don't listen
And yeah, there are actually "parents" that do these kinds of things

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by ItDepends

 

When I was a kid, I used to have a lot of problems with the dark. My grandmother gave be this, thingie, it was like a crystal half sphere, used to magnify small text. She told me it was magical and would keep anything bad away that I couldn't see in the dark, as long as it was near me. Obviously she knew it was a lie, but did it with good intentions. I think the principal is the same really.

It's not on the same malicious level as say, telling your kid the boogeyman will come out of your closet and eat your eyeballs at night if you don't listen

And yeah, there are actually "parents" that do these kinds of things

edit on Tue, 22 Jan 2013 21:32:57 -0600 by TKDRL because: (no reason given)

Thanks TKDRL.
I really do understand your point. An your example, plust the one above are anecdotes to help you understand things, that to you were understandable at the time. Kudo's to your grandmother, for actually trying to do a compassionate approach to overcome your fear.

However, again, I just take exception with the OP's original thread about this mom, telling an elaborate hoax (in her mind) by stating things as fact, when it went totally against her own belief system. Furthermore, I guess the 'brainwash' conveyance really had me stop and think hard about her motivations. Would it have been far more easier to show her child love, compassion, kindness, without fabricating a story from a source ( religious traditions) that she has no faith, trust and belief in? I sense you are trying to empathize with this woman's approach. That is very kind of you.

However, I can only speak of my parents of 5 children, and I do not beleive it would have been the correct approach to profess something so strongly, lie about such life-consequence events, invent things that in the parents heart she believe were untrue, no basis for and opposes. And then to say, from my vantage point, that she took the extreme to 'brainwash' her child into believing these falsehoods in the name of protection, love, happiness and wellbeing, just seems wrong to me.

If you are an adult, with principles that you believe in, and are comfortable with them by living them in your own life, then why not share these beliefs, approaches to life, by examples of love, compassion, understanding, tolerance and acceptance without fabricating an elaborate lie? Do you see my point? Would it not have been more caring and beneficial for the mom and the child to understand what the mom actually believes in, rather than go to the lengths she did to try and convice her child in order to affect his behaviours based on a set of lies and deciet that the mom is abhorrent too?

I think what your grandmother did was a beautiful thing she did for you. Not go into a whole religious belief system that she is totally against to try and protect her grandson. As far as the mother is concerned it was all a lie, so what is the child to believe? Again, I think a more plausible and honest approach would have been for the mother to explain her beliefs that she holds, and explain these safe-guards, versus coming up with an elaborate, set of lies. I think as parents, which is the toughest job on earth IMHO, requires a degree of truth and honesty. I just don't agree nor would I support the effort she made at such an extreme pyschological level on a young child, and then declare it was all a bunch of lies, and feel good about that decision. I simply believe, she had other options that did not require a bunch of lies, and to force them on him (her words, brainwash) in the name of love.

I see a big difference in your examples which include love in their motivations and intentions versus creating a whole set of statements, beliefs that are based upon one lie after another. I just guess we have a difference in opinon. That's ok. Finally, what's wrong with peace, love and understanding with a little compassion, tolerance and acceptance thrown in without invoking Religion, God or some other supernatural phenomenon?

Peace!! ID

Originally posted by definity
What has it got to do with other parent how she raises HER child.

TBH I Don't think I can lie to my kid when he/she asks questions like that, saying there is a heaven and and hell to me is just lying to your kid to shut them up. Bad Parenting. Unless your are a God worshipper of course.

Is it lying? Do you know for a fact without a shadow of a doubt there is no God? I used to be an agnostic, close to atheism and then pondered the illogic of disbelieving in something i couldn't prove did not exist. People lie for alot lesser things than trying to keep their children from growing up immoral. Take Santa Claus for instance. How many nonchristian parents flaunt that fairy tale to keep their children in line all year? Theres alot, and yes Santa Claus is a lie and a provable one.

Your reality is not my reality and not everyone shares the same reality. In your reality there is no God but in mine there is, because i've seen his miracles. I've seen people miraculously healed while doctors are left scratching their heads to explain it. Like how my wifes gallbladder went bad and was on the verge of having emergency surgery done and when me a deacon and my preacher prayed over her she was healed, and her kidney stones were gone and she was no longer passing blood in her urine, and we had a ctscan done on her to confirm. She also couldn;t have children and now she's pregnant. Not only as what we prayed for healed but everything else that was wrong with her was healed all at once. My requirements for proof of Christ's existence, was met.

People do not usually believe in ghosts and evil spirits either, until they meet some and are changed forever by them, and science fails to explain those phenomena, yet they are no less very real. Thank God his existence doesn't hinge on wether disbelievers come to know him or not.