Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by ItDepends
When I was a kid, I used to have a lot of problems with the dark. My grandmother gave be this, thingie, it was like a crystal half sphere, used to
magnify small text. She told me it was magical and would keep anything bad away that I couldn't see in the dark, as long as it was near me. Obviously
she knew it was a lie, but did it with good intentions. I think the principal is the same really.
It's not on the same malicious level as say, telling your kid the boogeyman will come out of your closet and eat your eyeballs at night if you don't
And yeah, there are actually "parents" that do these kinds of things
edit on Tue, 22 Jan 2013 21:32:57 -0600 by TKDRL because: (no reason
I really do understand your point. An your example, plust the one above are anecdotes to help you understand things, that to you were understandable
at the time. Kudo's to your grandmother, for actually trying to do a compassionate approach to overcome your fear.
However, again, I just take exception with the OP's original thread about this mom, telling an elaborate hoax (in her mind) by stating things as
fact, when it went totally against her own belief system. Furthermore, I guess the 'brainwash' conveyance really had me stop and think hard about
her motivations. Would it have been far more easier to show her child love, compassion, kindness, without fabricating a story from a source (
religious traditions) that she has no faith, trust and belief in? I sense you are trying to empathize with this woman's approach. That is very kind
However, I can only speak of my parents of 5 children, and I do not beleive it would have been the correct approach to profess something so strongly,
lie about such life-consequence events, invent things that in the parents heart she believe were untrue, no basis for and opposes. And then to say,
from my vantage point, that she took the extreme to 'brainwash' her child into believing these falsehoods in the name of protection, love,
happiness and wellbeing, just seems wrong to me.
If you are an adult, with principles that you believe in, and are comfortable with them by living them in your own life, then why not share these
beliefs, approaches to life, by examples of love, compassion, understanding, tolerance and acceptance without fabricating an elaborate lie? Do you
see my point? Would it not have been more caring and beneficial for the mom and the child to understand what the mom actually believes in, rather
than go to the lengths she did to try and convice her child in order to affect his behaviours based on a set of lies and deciet that the mom is
I think what your grandmother did was a beautiful thing she did for you. Not go into a whole religious belief system that she is totally against to
try and protect her grandson. As far as the mother is concerned it was all a lie, so what is the child to believe? Again, I think a more plausible
and honest approach would have been for the mother to explain her beliefs that she holds, and explain these safe-guards, versus coming up with an
elaborate, set of lies. I think as parents, which is the toughest job on earth IMHO, requires a degree of truth and honesty. I just don't agree nor
would I support the effort she made at such an extreme pyschological level on a young child, and then declare it was all a bunch of lies, and feel
good about that decision. I simply believe, she had other options that did not require a bunch of lies, and to force them on him (her words,
brainwash) in the name of love.
I see a big difference in your examples which include love in their motivations and intentions versus creating a whole set of statements, beliefs that
are based upon one lie after another. I just guess we have a difference in opinon. That's ok. Finally, what's wrong with peace, love and
understanding with a little compassion, tolerance and acceptance thrown in without invoking Religion, God or some other supernatural phenomenon?