posted on Jan, 13 2013 @ 03:13 AM
I've decided to post the story of my life here, since I am a bit anxious and do not wish to waste other poster's time when my comments aren't
useful to their threads. Please take the time to read this and without further adieu I give you my story.
I'll begin with my parents, their stories are not mine to tell so I'll provide only outlines if that is OK. My father came from a close-knit family
of German descent, I myself am only 4th generation American. During their time in Chicago my grandfather had became connected to the mafia, in ways
they won't share with me. As expected my father and his siblings became part of the seedier side of society which eventually ended with my father in
prison from the ages of 17 to 32. It is not my place to say why. Now, for my mother.
She came from varied descent, with her father's ethnicity unknown even to my grandmother. Part Cherokee and Irish, tracing back to the ancient Celts
and supposedly old royalty. Though I have my doubts on the last part. Growing up in a very small town in Kansas she had a run-in with an infamous
local psychopath and lost her brother to a murder when he was only 20(the two events are UN-connected). Her family has always had connections to the
Paranormal, from direct encounters with spirits and demons to visions of the future, or so they say.
I myself was conceived out of adultery on both sides, leading my 5 older sister's to secretly resent me and blame me for their parents separating. My
parents stuck it out and tried to make things work, bringing me another, younger sister. I had a good child-hood, I won't lie. Fine schools, good
friends, etc. We moved a lot while I was young but I never had problems making friends, until the final move that is but more on that later.
Since I was young, my sisters and parents both noticed my seeming interest in things they couldn't perceive. Playing with invisible play-mates and
before you say that's normal, the incidents would involve such things as me rolling a ball and the ball returning to me with accompanying
dis-embodied voices. Along with that, as long as I can remember I have heard voices, imitating those I know drawing me to secluded areas, attics,
basements, store-rooms, etc. Small children and animals have a natural affinity towards me, even the most viscous of animals I have encountered have
simply examined then settled by my side.
I have also always been drawn to forests, bringing some of the strangest experiences in my life but those are tales for another time. My story sort of
calms from the ages of 12 until 17, there are a few stories but again, for another time. At 17, right before my birthday I began developing strange
symptoms. It started with brief black-outs, where I would not be able to remember portions of time, usually a few minutes but a few times hours on
end. It too died down for a bit, until I was about to turn 18. At that time I began to develop strange legions on my hands, accompanied by swelling
and stiffness. I saw many doctors during this period, my symptoms developing from legions to full-blown necrosis of the fingers. The doctors ran many
tests, from August 2, 2011 until April 25, 2012. During the course I lost one finger and parts of the others leaving my hands scarred and not very
mobile. All tests they ran came back negative, Factor V Leiden, Raynauds(sp?), Diabetes, Arthritis, Lupus, various mutations and even Leprosy, those
are also just the ones I can remember. Hundreds of vials of blood and dozens of biopsies later and they still had no leads, my vitals, build, etc. all
above-average. Everything said I was as healthy as a metaphorical horse.
With all this I began to feel a bit hopeless, a bit lost. I turned to books for answers. That is when I stumbled upon "The Sacred Sickness" which in
turn led me to Shamanism and something clicked inside of me, I felt I was finally on the right trail. Though everything I know has been self-taught.
There are a surprising lack of True Shaman in Central Illinois but I digress. The deeper I got into these things, the more questions arose and the
more questions I asked my (entire) family, the more vague their answers grew. So, I gathered the courage and came here, to all of you in the hope that
someone, if even just one can assist me on this ever more winding path I have chosen.
Thank you for your time,