Santa is REAL! An ATS look at Santa

Q. How does Santa know what all the little boys and girls want for Christmas?

A. 1st, He has a mile by mile antenna array just below the snow in the north pole. The antenna consists of overlapping mess wiring creating 1mm squares. This antenna is finely tuned to pick up brain wave signals from children but only on key words like, I want, I need, for Christmas. Its also used to know if you been good or bad. He also has his helpers in the malls dress like him and relay the message back to Santa at the north pole.

Q. How does Santa deliver Christmas gifts to all the kids in the world in one night?

A. This is easy, Santa has built a machine that wraps his sled into a “relativity bubble” as he calls it. Once its activated, an invisible bubble wraps around him and his reindeer. Once he’s in it, he goes to the children’s houses and delivers gifts. It takes him nearly 6 months to deliver all the packages inside his relativity bubble. But outside the bubble it all happens in one night!

Q. How does Santa make the reindeer fly?

A. Santa uses Anti-gravity technology on the sled. It’s part of the relativity bubble machine he uses. The reindeer are more of a traditional thing. Please He really loves his reindeer. There like pet dogs you would take on a road trip.

Q. How does Santa fit all the children’s presents in his sled?

A. Santa has what we call Nano technology capabilities. He uses this technology to enter through the chimney to get in the house. Once in, he checks his list and coordinates his GPS unit with his antenna array to find out who’s house he’s in. He then pulls up the children’s wish list on his tablet and releases his Nano builders, NB. The NB's then crawl under the tree and scan the surroundings around the area. The NB’s then start to collect tinny bits of matter from all the surrounding inanimate objects and start to build the gifts under the tree. This process takes all night.

Q. Then what are the elf’s for?

A. The elf story was made up 100’s of years ago because people did not understand technology back then. They literally thought Santa had little people working for him around the clock. It’s really a silly notion. Plus it’s like slavery.

Awesome read!

Makes sense!

LOL That's not what I heard about how they fly!


Thanks for the laugh. I guess it's true that you can find a conspiracy in ANYTHING!!!!

I am a believer here! I KNOW Santa exists!
Merry Christmas and thanks for the great explanation.

reply to post by camaro68ss
I KNEW he used nano technology!
Knew it, knew it knew it!

Sir, you deserve an applause for this!

Santa for Geeks and ATSer's.

reply to post by camaro68ss

There are probably Youtube videos to 'prove' each of your points.

Yeh, but the Easter Bunny is total bullsh$t! My Mom told me so in a typical total freakout back in 1968. She was pissed about something I did and just lost control as usual.. I am still scarred. Now I f$cking hate big rabbits,they remind me of LBJ, Vietnam, body counts, young American men all shot to hell, video of napalmed asian children and immolated buddhist monks...American culture..aint it great?

I heard santa was a mushroom. True story bro.

secrets of Santa Claus

The ancient shamans such as the koyak peoples of russia used to collect mushrooms, dry them by hanging them on trees, then load them into a sack and deliver them on their sled pulled by reindeer. That time of year the snow has covered the walls of the yurts (houses) so the shaman climbs through the smoke hole in the roof.

The mushroom gifts are further dried by placing them in a sock and hanging them over the fire-place.

Santas colours match the amanita muscaria, and apparently he laughs and flies because he's.... well you get the picture.

No personal stories allowed, but I hear those fairy lights are involved in the conspiracy!

What is this? Contemporary, scientifically based arguments? Op, you just made Santa more plausible than Jesus!

I'm having doubts about this.
Show me evidence.

I see a lot of stars and flags coming for this one. Awesome

Originally posted by Toadmund
I'm having doubts about this.
Show me evidence.

If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now..
Hmmm.....Maybe ...DNA clone?

As science develops we're finding that nearly any scenario is possible. And every scenario has always been possible. Why might the technology that the mainstream is on the verge of developing not been around for years?

I thought about writing a similar thing explaining how the creation of Earth is indeed possible in six days time, as said in the Bible.

Also, thought my new avatar probably belongs here.

Santa Knows Everything... and he's one of the good guys, ta'boot

reply to post by camaro68ss




This thread deserves MANY Flags and Stars !!!!

I might just print this out, for my oldest. Shes at that age where she doesn't believe. I might just make up some credentials for you though..........

Clearly Santa is not working for our best interests. He's a CIA operative who uses advanced alien technology to track and trace children, all the while delivering presents which secretly have RFID chips imbedded in them. It's time for us to wake up! Santa is an agent of the Illuminati! And he's a Luciferian! Santa = Satan! It can't be any more clearer than that!

I did the math...

To complete his task in six months Santa would have to visit about sixty dwellings a second.

I don't know anything about relativity bubbles, but Santa must be one hella bad mofo....
not to mention his toy making Elves.

Do the Elves get relativity bubbles as well? 'Cause, if not, I don't want them anywhere
near my family

reply to post by camaro68ss

Q. How does Santa make the reindeer fly?


A. Santa uses Anti-gravity technology on the sled. It’s part of the relativity bubble machine he uses. The reindeer are more of a traditional thing. Please He really loves his reindeer. There like pet dogs you would take on a road trip.

Alternative Anwser - It's all about the Mushrooms

"At first glance, one thinks it's ridiculous, but it's not," said Carl Ruck, a professor of classics at Boston University. "Whoever heard of reindeer flying? I think it's becoming general knowledge that Santa is taking a 'trip' with his reindeer," Ruck said.

Link

thank you so much for this thread
i cant wait till my mum and dad pop round later
i can tell them i was right all along
the big man is real and this is 100% proof!
so up yours parents of the world!


on a side note - i have a memory from when i was 6 or 7
i remember standing outside my old house at night time on crimbo eve
and lo and behold i saw santa in his sleigh with the reindeer flying across the sky!
it must of been a dream, but one that left an imprint on my mind strong enough for me to now think if it was real.