posted on Nov, 7 2012 @ 04:21 PM
Over the past year I've gone through some personal adversities that I would like to tell myself I never anticipated. I know in my heart though
that's a lie because I had felt as I had known it would happen all along. Once I was confronted with the truth of the situation I had to confront
myself as well, I had to accept that I had been lying to myself and that conflict between what I knew and what I chose to believe had a negative
impact on my well being. After some retrospect I came to some conclusions about myself and what is missing in my life.
I'll start out with what I have, I have what I guess you would call an intuition, I get feelings on things that I can't always rationally explain,
but most always end up correct. I've already outlined my situation with what I felt was an old womans spirit tripping people on my mothers stairs in
another thread but it's never been just paranormal things. Everywhere I've worked, I've always ended up becoming "the go to guy". I've had
coworkers compare me to Sherlock Holmes, monk, etc. basically any type of fictional problem solver that does the seemingly impossible. I've had
bosses and bosses of bosses who come to me to figure out problems that were causing whole departments to come to complete stand stills. My wife and
friends say I'm always right about everything and while I know that is not the case, I also know I am usually right about 90% of the time.
I have come to accept that I have that intuition as a gift and yes sometimes a curse, but it is what I have seemingly lost that has been on my mind
recently. There was a time, when I was in my late teens, that I could hover my hands over a person and make physical pain go away and induce a relaxed
state that lasted usually about a day. It was a localized thing, for headaches I would have to put my hands around the part of the head that hurt,
etc. but the strangest part of it was it would not work if I actually touched the skin of the other person. I would have to focus on the space in
between my hands and the person for it to work, imagining that there was energy flowing out of my hands and onto, but not into the other person. I did
this on many people, the first time was completely by accident, messing around with a few school friends pointing our fists at each others forehead
and seeing who could get the closest without touching. It's amazing what bored teens will do during free periods in school I suppose lol. The friend
that I was doing this "competition" with remarked how weird it felt, like there was electricity shooting off my fist and how at least his headache
was finally gone. I had a feeling the two were connected and began to attempt to help other people with headaches and other pains.
My feelings appeared to be correct and soon I was using this ability on friends, family, even strangers on the bus. I had one friend who was very
spiritually connected who said it felt like the opposite of what one of her other friends would do to her. She said afterwards she would feel
energized and refreshed where as with her other friend, when he would just touch her shoulder she would feel completely drained and usually need to
lay down. This lead me to believe that this ability had something to do with channeling my own type of energy to others. I did this for many people
over the years, but none more so that the woman who would become my wife.
The last time I can remember doing this was about 10 years ago, while it was a big part of my life before then I began using it less and less as my
life filled with a wife, jobs and children. I had not even thought about it in probably 5 years until recently, my wife was hurting from work and
asked me to "do what you used to do and just make all the pain go away". I tried to do it but nothing happened, I've tried and tried to feel that
energy at the tips of my fingers again but it's not there anymore. I've come to realize I've lost a part of myself and I don't know where to go to
find it again. So I turn to you all, hoping that my feeling to post here is right and that I will find a way to find a part of myself I lost long ago.