Although the Following is a " Satire " in Reality almost All Americans are Actually Like This:
No Really ! Seriously !
Below is the Reason for your Very Real Observations ! Enjoy !
AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THE INTERNATIONAL NEWS" ON INTERNET
Web's Increasingly Worldly Flavor Threatens Americans' Worldview
PULLMAN, WASH. (SatireWire.com) —
The profusion of international news available on the Internet has made
it increasingly difficult for the average American to ignore the rest
of the world, a trend researchers say threatens Americans' long, proud history
of disregarding anything not about them.
"With all the foreign newspapers and multi-cultural sites, the Internet
is making it almost impossible for the average American to remain
uninformed and apathetic," said Samantha Lessborn of Washington State
University, which conducted the survey. "Americans can still do it.
But it now takes effort, whereas before it was as easy as turning off
Tom Brokaw whenever he said 'In South Korea today...'"
According to survey participant Danny Grisham, a 22-year-old from
Cheyenne, Wyoming, it's not just the plethora of international news on
the Web that is irritating. "Look, I can get around the news. I just turn
off Reuters headlines in MyYahoo," he said. "But even some of the search
sites like Yahoo and Alta Vista are available in different languages.
Like everybody in the world doesn't speak English. Yeah, right."
"I can see where it's important if we're, like, beating some country
in the Olympics or bombing them or, ideally, both," Grisham added.
Other respondents said they were appalled, not just by the availability
of non-U.S. news, but by the way important U.S. news is reported by
some of these foreign sites. "Yesterday, for instance, the St. Louis Rams
beat the Atlanta Falcons, OK, and I go to the London Times site and
it's not even there," said Chip Pernadge of Kansas City, Mo.
"Jesus, no wonder those guys lost the war and had to give Hong Kong
back to Canada."
Sensing a market opportunity, Net Nanny, makers of Net Nanny filtering
software, announced this week it will introduce NetNarrow, an English-only
product that automatically filters out content that appears to be international.
Specifically, the software looks for world datelines and keywords
indicative of irrelevant foreign stories, including "Shiite,"
"post-Apartheid," and "Bob Geldof."
Survey-taker Craig Barker of Brooklyn, New York, said he will be among
the first to get NetNarrow. "On the Web, there are so many ways to get
news from so many different places, I could really get some fresh insights
into what's going on in other countries if I wanted to," he said..
"But I don't want to."
"You'd think these Internet people would know that," Barker added.
"I mean, that's why the Internet is called America Online, right?
It's supposed to be about America."
Editor's Note: It seems that after reading this entirely fictional story,
some investors/customers of Net Nanny believed the company actually was
going to produce NetNarrow software. As a result, Net Nanny asked
SatireWire to please assure people that this is not the case.
Copyright © 2000-2001, SatireWire.
I saved this old Satire from satirewire.com, because it is in Reality so True about almost All Americans - No Really !
edit on 11/4/2012 by chrisb9 because: (no reason given)