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Congrats from your masters!
Your petty squabbling over pointless issues has allowed us to institute complete control over every global sector at a rate even far faster than we as your masters could even anticipate! We never had any intentions of making ourselves publicly known, but you have allowed our transition into power so effortlessly and flawlessly that you cant possibly resist us without putting your very existence at risk...and for that we must applaud you!
While you all continue to bicker about which of our presidential puppets we've presented you with can dig you out of the hole we intentionally created, you have handed over to us complete control without ever even seeing it happen right in front of your noses.
We control your energy
We control your agriculture
We control your medicines
Our privatized military can subdue any resistance
We control where you can live, where you can go, and how much you have to spend...so be mindful or we'll take it away.
Now with the capability of unlimited monetary printing thanks to our buddy Ben...we control your future.
So please...just give in. Don't make this harder than it has been on you already. You have lost and we have won...that's the game of Capitalism.
Your resistance will only further your pain. Think about your families...and what we can do to them if you don't comply.
Again, thank you for hastening our agenda! We couldn't have done it without you! ;-)
Now please shut up and do what your told!