Show Me How To Lie

Have you ever wondered about the psychology behind lying? Why do we take part in this negative and destructive practice? Have you ever intentionally told a lie (or what you thought was at the time) to somebody else, only to find out later that what you said was the truth? It's a rather strange phenomenon, usually occurring when we tell "white lies". While the motivation, purpose and justification for expressing a lie are dependent on the situation, the key reason seems to be the avoidance of truth. From the most basic to the most complex of lies, truth is always a victim.

There are various reasons why people lie, including:
1) Denying or suppressing the truth
2) Creating, maintaining or destroying relationships
3) Material or financial gain
4) To advance one's own interests at the cost of others
5) To avoid conflict
6) To avoid inconvenience
7) To avoid discomfort
8) To gain praise or sympathy
9) For self-assurance
10) To test others

Wikipedia has an interesting section on the psychology behind lying:

The capacity to lie is noted early and nearly universally in human development. Social psychology and developmental psychology are concerned with the theory of mind, which people employ to simulate another's reaction to their story and determine if a lie will be believable. The most commonly cited milestone, what is known as Machiavellian intelligence, is at the age of about four and a half years, when children begin to be able to lie convincingly. Before this, they seem simply unable to comprehend why others don't see the same view of events that they do—and seem to assume that there is only one point of view, which is their own.

Young children learn from experience that stating an untruth can avoid punishment for misdeeds, before they develop the theory of mind necessary to understand why it works. In this stage of development, children will sometimes tell outrageous and unbelievable lies, because they lack the conceptual framework to judge whether a statement is believable, or even to understand the concept of believability.

When children first learn how lying works, they lack the moral understanding of when to refrain from doing it. This takes years of watching people tell lies, and the results of these lies, to develop a proper understanding. Propensity to lie varies greatly between children, some doing so habitually and others being habitually honest. Habits in this regard are likely to change in early adulthood.

Pseudologia fantastica is a term applied by psychiatrists to the behavior of habitual or compulsive lying.

Mythomania is the condition where there is an excessive or abnormal propensity for lying and exaggerating.[12]

A recent study found that lying takes longer than telling the truth.[5] Or, as Chief Joseph succinctly put it, "It does not require many words to speak the truth." [13]

Some useful links on the topic of lying:
- Wikipedia
- The Truth About Lying
- Psychology of Lying
- How to tell when someone's lying

Tell me that you're enlightened and that you've killed off your ego self.

You are? You did?

Good.

There, that's how you lie.

reply to post by Dark Ghost


Hi Dark Ghost....you sure do write some interesting threads!
The thing I don't get about lying....is how some people seem to end up believing their own lies. I have known people who have told the same lie so many times that they are adamant it's the truth.
I don't like being lied TO....but I really hate being lied ABOUT.
Lies can ruin lives.
jacygirl

reply to post by jacygirl


Thanks for the nice words.

It's a defence mechanism. People tend to end up believing their own lies because they have invested so much time and energy into repeating these lies to comfort themselves that the truth seems distant and unpalatable.

Being lied to is one thing, but being lied about is quite another. At least with the former you can actively defend yourself or the truth from lies and deception. When it is done behind your back, your power to control the situation reduces drastically.

Nice thoughts.

I believe that I lie (when I lie) due to self preservation and gain. I believe the Ego comment gets it right

I do my best not to lie and that painful feeling that is associated with lying lingers longer than I like. That is why I don't like lying. To be honest, you'll notice that it's not that you'll hurt the other person. It's that you'll have to cover for it again later and continue to experience the guilt. Some people just have a higher guilt/pain threshold.

Yep, IMO it's about Ego. And children are little balls of selfishness. You are taught humility. You are born selfish.



Again, great thoughts.
Cheers

reply to post by NorEaster

Frankly, I really appreciate your humor, today.

Originally posted by Dark Ghost
Have you ever wondered about the psychology behind lying? Why do we take part in this negative and destructive practice? Have you ever intentionally told a lie (or what you thought was at the time) to somebody else, only to find out later that what you said was the truth? It's a rather strange phenomenon, usually occurring when we tell "white lies". While the motivation, purpose and justification for expressing a lie are dependent on the situation, the key reason seems to be the avoidance of truth. From the most basic to the most complex of lies, truth is always a victim.

There are various reasons why people lie, including:
1) Denying or suppressing the truth
2) Creating, maintaining or destroying relationships
3) Material or financial gain
4) To advance one's own interests at the cost of others
5) To avoid conflict
6) To avoid inconvenience
7) To avoid discomfort
8) To gain praise or sympathy
9) For self-assurance
10) To test others

Wikipedia has an interesting section on the psychology behind lying:

The capacity to lie is noted early and nearly universally in human development. Social psychology and developmental psychology are concerned with the theory of mind, which people employ to simulate another's reaction to their story and determine if a lie will be believable. The most commonly cited milestone, what is known as Machiavellian intelligence, is at the age of about four and a half years, when children begin to be able to lie convincingly. Before this, they seem simply unable to comprehend why others don't see the same view of events that they do—and seem to assume that there is only one point of view, which is their own.

Young children learn from experience that stating an untruth can avoid punishment for misdeeds, before they develop the theory of mind necessary to understand why it works. In this stage of development, children will sometimes tell outrageous and unbelievable lies, because they lack the conceptual framework to judge whether a statement is believable, or even to understand the concept of believability.

When children first learn how lying works, they lack the moral understanding of when to refrain from doing it. This takes years of watching people tell lies, and the results of these lies, to develop a proper understanding. Propensity to lie varies greatly between children, some doing so habitually and others being habitually honest. Habits in this regard are likely to change in early adulthood.

Pseudologia fantastica is a term applied by psychiatrists to the behavior of habitual or compulsive lying.

Mythomania is the condition where there is an excessive or abnormal propensity for lying and exaggerating.[12]

A recent study found that lying takes longer than telling the truth.[5] Or, as Chief Joseph succinctly put it, "It does not require many words to speak the truth." [13]

Some useful links on the topic of lying:
- Wikipedia
- The Truth About Lying
- Psychology of Lying
- How to tell when someone's lying

edit on 28/6/2012 by Dark Ghost because: (no reason given)

Fair list. But you forgot the most important and beautiful of contradictions: irony. Irony shows creativity when purposeful, and is not done maliciously but out of pure joy and love of language.

I also think some lying is done with good intent. For instance claiming there is a Santa Clause or tooth fairy; or to soften the result of something that could otherwise cause emotional difficulties when relayed truthfully.

Cool topic.

I have no problem with lying, unless it is done in a malicious manner. As you've stated, it is the believing the lie is true which is the real problem. However, if someone comes to my door, gun in hand, looking for someone I know, I will lie to them and tell them I don't know where they are. If someone is on the verge of a panic attack due to the realization that the economy is about to collapse, I will lie to them and say everything will be okay. There are many instances where lying is not only not malicious, but in fact crucial for our survival.

Peace.

Lying surely has its advantages and disadvantages. I've lied many times despite telling myself I wish to be an honest person to gain the trust of others. I lie usually for the sake of a person's emotional well being but that news is only temporary and eats away at the person, wondering if that person would find out. Even so, many don't want to be told lies. They want to be told the truth.

But yes, there's also that relief when you tell a lie, only to find it is the truth! That tension is quite a feeling.

YOUR SUCH A LIAR!

reply to post by Dark Ghost


its all part of the human condition

Originally posted by LesMisanthrope
Fair list. But you forgot the most important and beautiful of contradictions: irony. Irony shows creativity when purposeful, and is not done maliciously but out of pure joy and love of language.

I also think some lying is done with good intent. For instance claiming there is a Santa Clause or tooth fairy; or to soften the result of something that could otherwise cause emotional difficulties when relayed truthfully.

Cool topic.

Right you are. The thread is somewhat of a paradox: I have been meaning to make it for a long time and after a few attempts of writing it up then refraining from submitting, it was a little rushed in the end. I just thought it would never get out there if I didn't submit it before I went to bed.

Nevertheless, that Wikipedia link at the bottom seems to cover irony and other forms of lies that have good intent behind them. And it's nice to see other members adding to the topic like the replies so far which is always pleasant.

reply to post by LifeIsEnergy


That is a valid point. It was an inadvertent mistake in the end to portray lying in a wholly negative sense as I did in the thread. I should have spent more time discussing when lying can be beneficial. Thanks for your contribution.

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reply to post by RainingDreams


Lying for the sake of the person's emotional well being seems acceptable in a sense and I am guilty of this practice as well. I guess it's at least partially ok because your intent is noble.