Im transgendered and I wish I wasn't

Originally posted by sarra1833
Love you for you. We are all different and unique and that's what makes us human.

the reason i posted in the philosophical & metaphysical forum is because im looking for answers to this issue from the aforementioned knowledge bases.

ive read many mention that u are not ur urges nor thoughts. ive tried praying for all of this to go away, for years crying while praying to have this taken away. its still here.

ive tried letting go of the urges, seeing through them, not minding them, not paying any attention, meditation, and ive see therapists who basically have told me i can either follow through on the urges or im basically gonna be stuck w them the rest of my life, which is the same thing other trans have told me.

but i dont think its either have thhe transformation of continue w urges. im sure philosphically or metaphysically there has to be another way

Kinda of a rought situation. I hope you find happiness withwhatever you choose and that you have people who support you. Not all lifes are a walk in the park especially not on this planet and this age from my point of view. If this was a couple of years ago I would not understand you at all and avoided you not because I hated you, but because I would have been uncomfortable. That people are like this is not your problem and do not care if people are smallminded and scared. Now I kinda would maybe not mind a life as a female. It's gotta be so cool to have life growing inside you and being able to show emotion on a higher level. Love a Soulbrother.

Originally posted by soon2beaher
ive read many mention that u are not ur urges nor thoughts. ive tried praying for all of this to go away, for years crying while praying to have this taken away. its still here.

I find that although the thoughts can be taken away by prayer, to supplanting the image for yourself and learning to cope but not give in works better long-term. Part of the reason anything disturbing has power over people is through the fear it evokes in the person. Fear, in any form can consume you.

So, do you fear being transgendered, and why? Plus, how far does your desire go?

ive tried letting go of the urges, seeing through them, not minding them, not paying any attention, meditation, and ive see therapists who basically have told me i can either follow through on the urges or im basically gonna be stuck w them the rest of my life, which is the same thing other trans have told me.

for how long? A year for each? I don't know of many things that are easy to do in a year, although it's possible to make or break habits in 21 days.

but i dont think its either have thhe transformation of continue w urges. im sure philosphically or metaphysically there has to be another way

There's always another way, it's just that sometimes the effort is designed to see you fail. That's what people seem to have the hardest time with.

Originally posted by soon2beaher
the reason i posted in the philosophical & metaphysical forum is because im looking for answers to this issue from the aforementioned knowledge bases.

ive read many mention that u are not ur urges nor thoughts. ive tried praying for all of this to go away, for years crying while praying to have this taken away. its still here.

ive tried letting go of the urges, seeing through them, not minding them, not paying any attention, meditation, and ive see therapists who basically have told me i can either follow through on the urges or im basically gonna be stuck w them the rest of my life, which is the same thing other trans have told me.

but i dont think its either have thhe transformation of continue w urges. im sure philosphically or metaphysically there has to be another way

Realize a few things firstly: men and women contain both male (active) and female (receptive) forces within them; indeed, the cosmos itself is that way (more obviously as destruction (Shiva) and creation (Shakti)), and we're a microcosm of it. The physical body is a projection; the imagination of the self. Which leads to the question: have you considered that you chose to go through this journey by your own choice? I think you are fighting against it too much when humility is what leads to peace and victory. Accept what you are so that you can learn to keep yourself under control (temperance). Urges can be tamed, they don't need to be tossed out and removed. You constantly see something wrong with yourself and ask for that perceived wrong to be stripped from you. The reason it's still there is because deep down you don't want it to go. We know ourselves better than we think we do.

You are what you are.

You're just living you're life's story. It's often like this to varying degrees, as "normal" doesn't exist. Most people just haven't realized that because society indoctrinates us to think, act, and be a certain way that's productive to society (which is considered normal), and your "gender war" doesn't help line the corporate fat-cats' pockets with money. But that's another topic altogether.

I hope this point of view was helpful. Remember: acceptance, humility, temperance, compassion, and love.

reply to post by CynicalDrivel

So, do you fear being transgendered, and why? Plus, how far does your desire go?

i dont really fear much. i know if i went thru the transformation, many family members would hate it and id prolly lose friends. but that doesnt phase me.

i just compare this transgenderism to the the rest of the world. most dont have it. a small minority do.

the desire consumes me. ive been fighting, praying, trying in various ways to get rid of this away from me, and yet it remains. for example i'll be listening to music or waking up to go to work, or wherever, then all of a sudden the urge emerges.

ive thought that maybe a feminie spirit or soul of a previous transgendered has attached itself to me as a metaphysical possibility.

for how long? A year for each? I don't know of many things that are easy to do in a year, although it's possible to make or break habits in 21 days.

ive been at war w this trying everything i can for about 15 years. books, techniques, therapists, meditations, visualisations all of which have deepened my charachter and self knowleddge. but the urges remain.

reply to post by soon2beaher



Poor tormented soul.

Do you not want them because of a social norm that you percieve and want to conform to?

You will not control your urges. Not without doing untold damage to your psyche along the way, anyway.

My oldest son is gay. Gayer than anything I have ever met. I knew he would end up gay from day 1. Of course, I never front loaded this for him, and let him grow and develop. But when the day came that my wife and I noticed that he was getting more gloomy, more uncomfortable, etc, we got involved.

Found out that he had come to terms with him being gay, and had even told a few of his closest friends (when he was 15 or so). He was just worried about the percieved social norm of his Catholic family. So we sat him down, dragged him out of the closet, and just put it all out on the table. From that day things have gotten better and better for him.

Look in the mirror, acknowledge WHAT you are, and then acknolwdge that WHAT you are will never change WHO you are.

Find you someone who is NOT religious to talk to. Maybe a psychologist or something. You need to come to terms with this whole thing. Until you do, you will never be happy in life. Mark my words.

I'm staright-8.
But I once read where every one is gay in a poem.

You have got to find peace with yourself.

If I was hit by a car,would you call 911 for me.
If so,you past the test of being a good person.

Theres also are some women who want to be men,like cher's daughter.
I'm not a big fan of of Cher's daughter either,to much drama and huffy and puffy,especially when they gave her the boot on the dancing show.
She had no style and ZILCH GRACE in dancing.

Most of us dont care what you do when you pull the shades and lock your door.
Nor if you you ride your 4 wheeler in a dress and look like Grizzly Adams.

You will have to find peace with yourself and not worry.

But there are cases where some play dress up and haunt the local parks.

Its your life.


Hang in there.

No one is ever in the right body! LOL Even time changes the foundation before you know it. Seriously, you make it sound as if you have no avenue. You really are arguing and judging yourself, no one else is unless they are not worth the thought anyways (such as morons).

You sound like a straight man that is associating the female, but you are not gay, is this correct? You still want to have relationships with women, not men.

Sounds like you need to find your correct and most appreciative partner. Then express yourself, but be the man for her when she needs you to be as it is not fair to force a lesbian to accept you nor is it fair for you to accept a man.

Did I get the orientation right? I think I did. You sound like you appreciate the lesbians but know that it is not the right fit. You need a kinky woman with an open mind! In the meantime you do need to clarify your needs, wants, and desires and define them clearly so others are not guessing what your needs are. Be honest and up front.

Originally posted by soon2beaher
the reason i posted in the philosophical & metaphysical forum is because im looking for answers to this issue from the aforementioned knowledge bases.

ive read many mention that u are not ur urges nor thoughts. ive tried praying for all of this to go away, for years crying while praying to have this taken away. its still here.

ive tried letting go of the urges, seeing through them, not minding them, not paying any attention, meditation, and ive see therapists who basically have told me i can either follow through on the urges or im basically gonna be stuck w them the rest of my life, which is the same thing other trans have told me.

but i dont think its either have thhe transformation of continue w urges. im sure philosphically or metaphysically there has to be another way

As far as I'm concerned it's not you that has the issue but society at large. Have a look at this vid - it was posted in one of my threads not so long ago by fellow member halfodman.



I think that former incarnations can have a real impact on our sexuality and gender identity. I have strong pre Earth memories of living in a predominantly feminine culture with no real male energy. This has created some 'deviancy' for me in this life, especially that I'm of male gender. It is also interesting when I am experiencing altered states of consciousness, that my sense of gender will dissolve away all together.

It sounds like you are looking for a way to transcend these urges through some form of mystical process. I think this could probably be achieved, but would require you to 'give up' everything and live a monk like existence - cut yourself off from society , which would be just as drastic as giving in to your urge to 'come out' and do what makes you feel right.

My heart goes out to you, it must be such a torment.

Thanks for having the courage to come here and discuss it. I hope and pray that you find some solace.

* Love & Light *

Be you. It may be humanities greatest freedom. So many squander the freedom to be who they are. Sending out positive vibes.

Originally posted by soon2beaher
reply to post by LesMisanthrope

 

yea ive dressed up, wig, makeup, the works. exhilirating, awesome, a relief, and great feeling........ to that part of me that has those urges.

for the male part of me, afterwords i was like wtf? im like some kind of circus freak. this is ridiculous and want the heck am i doing? what the heck is wrong with me.

it really sucks to have this situation. i wish i could just be normal like the rest of you guys

Look bro, None of us are "normal".
Not in any way, shape, or form!

We are all "circus freaks" here in this crazy ass circus we call earth.
and this goes for every-single-person-we-meet.

I can't say I understand your 'urges'..
But I can understand the rest.

Just do you, man.. whoever/whatever "you" is. Or whatever you want "you" to be.

Maybe you were a woman in a past life and that's why you feel these things now.
and if that's the case...
Perhaps You already had your go here (on circus earth) as a woman, So now you're free to have a go at being a man. I mean.. You did choose this experience for this lifetime. You chose the male body you currently reside in.
So.. I dunno...
Do/Be what you want,
only the ignorant will see fault in it. But then , they see fault in everything (but themselves). lol

Our genders are pretty much nothing more than costumes anyway.
The true "you" or "me".. has no "gender"...
So do what you want with it,
Those who truly matter won't mind.

Peace mate.

Originally posted by LastProphet527
reply to post by soon2beaher

 

Who cares what you hate,you are what you are, and you just have to except it,be what makes you happy.

LastProphet527, in that movie the character you posted a clip of was not really what he thought he was. He was trying to be something he wasn't. Did you watch the movie? Remember what Dr. Lector said?

Originally posted by soon2beaher
reply to post by LesMisanthrope

 

yea ive dressed up, wig, makeup, the works. exhilirating, awesome, a relief, and great feeling........ to that part of me that has those urges.

for the male part of me, afterwords i was like wtf? im like some kind of circus freak. this is ridiculous and want the heck am i doing? what the heck is wrong with me.

it really sucks to have this situation. i wish i could just be normal like the rest of you guys

None of us are 'normal'. It's just that your 'abnormality' is more visual than others. Do what makes you feel happy and comfortable. Don't feel like you have to be any particular way for anyone else. Just don't do anything you may regret in the future. I wish you all the best

reply to post by Ahmose


Oh... I should have just dittoed that! I agree 100%

Originally posted by fiftyfifty
reply to post by Ahmose

 

Oh... I should have just dittoed that! I agree 100%

Nah, I'm glad you posted it, and that we share the same sentiment.
Well said my friend.

Animal-minded society would influence you to interpreting this challenge in a sexual way, which would be all about who plugs who. Don't listen to these monkeys. Think of it energetically and magnetically. You have already said that you chose your parents - so you accept reincarnation. If you accept reincarnation then you must have realized that you have been plugging others and been plugged for millenia - this is not the purpose of human life. Rather than having either one polarity become attracted to an external attraction, find the way to create an attraction to it's polar opposite within you. So a love affair is created within you. Remember, most people cannot do this because they have only one sexuality that is dominant and the other repressed, which means that they are forced to seek an outside complimentary in order to complete themselves emotionally. (whether homosexual or heterosexual)



en.wikipedia.org...

I agree with other posters who have said to approach this issue from a mystical standpoint.

i would hav never thought the majority of the replies would be so uplifting and positive, considering what i see on the news every night.

ive thought of it, recently in light of the replies, as if im supposed to be in a male body because onviously thats the case. but perhaps i also chose to come down here and have to struggle w these urges.

either way somethings got to give. ive actually even considered monkhood & mysticism in a sort of duel it out one on one and end up a victor over this, if its even possible.

however i have family members, mother, sister and a few others i help financially so it would have to wait.

also its not really about anything sexual. i havent even considered if i went through the change, what the outcome would be on preference. right now im just solo, celibate, perhaps trying to figure this all out

still the love and support on here is overwhelmingly awesome. tears of joy

Originally posted by jiggerj
reply to post by soon2beaher

 

You're feeling guilt and shame over having female tendencies that you didn't ask for. Let those feelings go. Accept who you are before it eats you up inside. It's not like you're having criminal thoughts and want to hurt people. We have this one life; enjoy the hell out of it because you don't get brownie points for being miserable.

I guess the saying should be: When life doesn't give you melons, hey, stuff your blouse!

edit on 6/23/2012 by jiggerj because: (no reason given)

Jigger..your wisdom is refreshing.

The "normal" people, are the ones that are seriously f**kd up..besides, I hate that word...If a person doesnt have atleast ONE tendency they dont want, then they are very lucky and unique..