Im transgendered and I wish I wasn't

im ur typical average guy, early 30's and since i can remember ive had urges to be a woman. i have no idea where they come from and wish they would go away.

ive gotten used to, and dont mind being in a male body. i find women attractive, have dated before, like motorcycles, music, fishing etc and wish i could be a regular joe just like most other guys.

but these dam urges just never leave me alone. i have experienced myself having a past life or at least choosing my parents and choosing to be born. but i dont understand why i have to go through these urges.

supression doesnt work. if i do supress then the urges come in dreams or first thing upon waking.

i have also experienced in meditation that i am not this body or the mind in a kind of eckhart tollish way. but still i cant really live life because these dam urges just bother the crap out of me and i dont want them.

i can say i fully understand the lgbt community and my heart goes out to them. had i not had these urges, i probably wouldd have had some bias towards this group of folks. but now only compassion

reply to post by soon2beaher


Have you at least tried being a woman?

Originally posted by soon2beaher
i can say i fully understand the lgbt community and my heart goes out to them.

Don't you mean 'us' instead of 'them'?? Aren't you part of that community?
Or do you not consider yourself to be? Why do you distance yourself in the wording?

reply to post by soon2beaher


Mystics are very often androgynous, because mystics unite with God and God is the unity of all pairs of opposites. Including the male/female pair. Coincidentia oppositorum.

Originally posted by FlyersFan

Originally posted by soon2beaher
i can say i fully understand the lgbt community and my heart goes out to them.

Don't you mean 'us' instead of 'them'?? Aren't you part of that community?
Or do you not consider yourself to be? Why do you distance yourself in the wording?

probably because: "i can say i fully understand the lgbt community and my heart goes out to us." would have been grammatically awkward...

reply to post by LesMisanthrope


yea ive dressed up, wig, makeup, the works. exhilirating, awesome, a relief, and great feeling........ to that part of me that has those urges.

for the male part of me, afterwords i was like wtf? im like some kind of circus freak. this is ridiculous and want the heck am i doing? what the heck is wrong with me.

it really sucks to have this situation. i wish i could just be normal like the rest of you guys

reply to post by soon2beaher


You're feeling guilt and shame over having female tendencies that you didn't ask for. Let those feelings go. Accept who you are before it eats you up inside. It's not like you're having criminal thoughts and want to hurt people. We have this one life; enjoy the hell out of it because you don't get brownie points for being miserable.

I guess the saying should be: When life doesn't give you melons, hey, stuff your blouse!

Well, there's two courses: keep going forward until 1 or the other aspect breaks, or put some breaks on it.

The first thought that enters your mind does not have to be who you are--you can drive it out. It means usurping the original thought with a stronger one as soon as it enters your mind. Done it for years, and with time, the thought you don't want fades, and rarely pops back up.

But honestly? The best way to deal with it is to just wear women's underwear all the time. Satisfy both sides, no sacrifice to the masculine dominant.

Originally posted by soon2beaher
reply to post by LesMisanthrope

 

yea ive dressed up, wig, makeup, the works. exhilirating, awesome, a relief, and great feeling........ to that part of me that has those urges.

for the male part of me, afterwords i was like wtf? im like some kind of circus freak. this is ridiculous and want the heck am i doing? what the heck is wrong with me.

it really sucks to have this situation. i wish i could just be normal like the rest of you guys

No one is truly "normal", beside that would make for a really boring life. Do what makes you happy/comfortable don't worry about what other people think.

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reply to post by BlueMule

Originally posted by BlueMule
reply to post by soon2beaher

 

Mystics are very often androgynous, because mystics unite with God and God is the unity of all pairs of opposites. Including the male/female pair. Coincidentia oppositorum.

edit on 23-6-2012 by BlueMule because: (no reason given)

I agree with that notion. It makes sense to consider both aspects and how they interrelate.


reply to post by soon2beaher

Originally posted by soon2beaher
reply to post by LesMisanthrope

 

yea ive dressed up, wig, makeup, the works. exhilirating, awesome, a relief, and great feeling........ to that part of me that has those urges.

for the male part of me, afterwords i was like wtf? im like some kind of circus freak. this is ridiculous and want the heck am i doing? what the heck is wrong with me.

it really sucks to have this situation. i wish i could just be normal like the rest of you guys

Well ,you can either go forward with it and join the lgbt community as you call it ,
or you could do therapy sessions with hypnosis or similar things to see if that helps.

reply to post by soon2beaher


Who cares what you hate,you are what you are, and you just have to except it,be what makes you happy.

Originally posted by soon2beaher
im ur typical average guy, early 30's and since i can remember ive had urges to be a woman. i have no idea where they come from and wish they would go away.

When you say that you have urges to be a woman, does that mean you want to be a female, with menstrual periods and baby making woes, or that you wish you could dress like women do and behave with more "feminine" mannerisms?

Wanting to adorn oneself is not new, but men have been repressed in expressing this innate desire.

reply to post by ih8dogfarts

[snipped for outrageous rudeness.

]

ha tell me about it. exactly what i think. if i didnt have this, its exactly what i would have said if i was in me teens/early 20s and ignorant.

however i know better than to refer to anyone in any derogatory manner.

there also studies that show that males who have urges to be females have neuron levels similar to femals and brain sizes similar to females.

i did not choose to be this way or to have these urges. the urges are to have cosmetic surgery, hormones, and to physically become a woman:

Originally posted by soon2beaher
reply to post by LesMisanthrope

 

yea ive dressed up, wig, makeup, the works. exhilirating, awesome, a relief, and great feeling........ to that part of me that has those urges.

for the male part of me, afterwords i was like wtf? im like some kind of circus freak. this is ridiculous and want the heck am i doing? what the heck is wrong with me.

it really sucks to have this situation. i wish i could just be normal like the rest of you guys

You're more normal than you think. I imagine there are many who have the physical need to be of the opposite gender but fear the social repercussions of such a move. But I'm unsure if you can continue to sweep these sorts of bodily needs under a carpet. Sooner or later you may need to embrace it to live happily. You can still do "guy stuff" if you're a woman.

Talk to some transgendered people. I'm sure their personal insight will be valuable in this situation.

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I'm sure you can too.



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I remember watching a really well regarded movie years ago about a man who was married with kids---and he became a woman. It's a true story, and the actor who portrayed this man---he was magnificant in it. The viewer couldn't help feeling such empathy for him.

He was your typical Dad----had a good job, two great kids, a great wife. But he finally got to the point where he just couldn't deny any longer what was going on inside of him.

His kids had a really hard time with it at first, but unbelieavably, his wife stayed with him. I think he may have gotten fired from his job, but in the end, he was happy.

It was a powerful tale about how important it is that we make ourselves happy.

He was willing to forgo it all to be true to himself--even if it meant losing his family.

PS- The movie was called "Normal" and I highly recommend it.

Originally posted by soon2beaher
reply to post by ih8dogfarts

 

you's a freak show brah.

ha tell me about it. exactly what i think. if i didnt have this, its exactly what i would have said if i was in me teens/early 20s and ignorant.

however i know better than to refer to anyone in any derogatory manner.

there also studies that show that males who have urges to be females have neuron levels similar to femals and brain sizes similar to females.

i did not choose to be this way or to have these urges. the urges are to have cosmetic surgery, hormones, and to physically become a woman

I would not say you are a freak show at all. People are given different challenges to overcome by Our Father. I have no doubt that homosexuality CAN be caused by genetics (sometimes though, it's just a personal perversion); but so is Cystic Fibrosis and Down's Syndrome.

You are the way God made you, and there is no shame in that; but the fact is that he made you a man. The feelings however, you can overcome through prayer and a personal connection with Christ. It can be done. Just look at Greg Gutfeld.

Seriously though, you say that you have regret, even saying to yourself, "WTF?" when you simply dress like a woman. How do you think you might feel the morning after surgery, which is quite irreversible? I'd think, and pray, long and hard before you do something that can't be undone.

I'll pray for you too.
Penny

Love you for you. We are all different and unique and that's what makes us human.