I Am Eccentric

Heh, I only read this because I saw the word "eccentric". This is my families ( and husbands) nice term for my behavior and who I am. I personally think its a nice term for odd. I get interesting xmas presents due to their belief.. which is a pro. Either way, I am very happy in my life and with every weird phase of it. Ive lived a colorful life.. sometimes extremes and opposites, but its made me who I am and truly I am a very content and happy person due to ll of it. I connect with people.. temporarily... and do not feel the temporary is a bad thing. I am enriched or I learn something from each sample of a person. The only person Ive really kept around is the husband and thats only because he is cute and enjoys some of my quirks and tolerates others heroically. There are a million others like me.. I do not think Im special. All humans are intriguing and interesting, but very few are "special". Even fewer are extraordinary.

With this I am not being negative and I swear I do NOT mean to offend... but its the truth : I dont understand this desperate need to connect with others like yourself.. not just you OP but the other threads and things that are almost a cry for help or companionship in some desperate way. It is so simple to truly connect with others.. but when you put all of these weird expectations and conditions on relationships ( even temp ones).. youre going to be alone and dissatisfied. Just my opinion and ramble.

reply to post by Dark Ghost


Thank you
their is nothing wrong with me after all !

I have never fitted in. I have not have a real friend since I was about 10 years old, after that everyone that "befriended" me always did it to gain something. I'm now in my 40's. I have tried to get friends, but I never get called back. I only get invited when the other person has something to gain from it. Even when I find people that share my interest they never call me back, when I meet them they seem to feel guilty and sometimes say that "we must do something some day, I will call you" etc. I don't know what is wrong with me since I am such a social outcast, it seems that even though I move the problem persists. People always start rumours about me, when I was about 10 yo I started to be bullied, a gang of them even raped my mother. They called me an idiot at first, then when I started high-school there were rumous that I was gay, even I was not. A popular soccer player at school even asked me to be his gay lover, but I told him that I was not gay. Some time later he was one of a huge ring of people in the high-school schoolyard that surrounded me and called me gay. Even the teachers hated me, in my 7. year of school one of them said in front of me and the class that I would never get more than 3 of 6 (top) grade from her, three years later I still had not, she gave me special grades like 3+++++ and commented "almost 4 this time but not good enough". I once took my sisters top grade essay and copied it, still only got 3+++++, complained to the principal but the teacher got away with it claiming that I had not understood the premise of the story, even though the text of the test was the same that my sister had gotten top grade for. One person in my class complained on my behalf when I was not present, saying she had said in front of the class that I would never get better than a 3 of 6 grade. When confronted with this in front of her peers she supposedly said that "she did not think *my name* was clever enough to ever get better than a 3 of 6". School year 8. we had a group that was supposed to get graded together, all the other kids got a 4 but I got a 3 since she claimed that I had not worked as hard as the others. When the others in my group complained calling it unfair on my behalf, sayig that I had worked just as hard as them, she still would not budge. When I came to high-school the new class did not take long until they started to torment me, I quit after 1 1/2 years of physical and mental bullying. I don't understand why people hate me so much, I have always had so much love in my heart and have tried to help other people. I have always given without wanting something back, it's a blessing. I got some friends in my early 20's, but only by pretending I was someone I was not. When I realized I was not myself and changed my behaviour they all left me. I tried the next 20 years to find friends, but they never keep in touch if I don't initiate it. Somehow they can't stand me, but I never figured out what is the problem. Since I have always been an excellent artist and the girls have found me physically attractive I have lately put the hate down to jalousy, but I have also had alien contact since I was a kid, so perhaps they can sense I am different somehow. After I grew up I have met several of those that where mean to me, one of them asked for foregiveness, and I forgave him, but I can not help but to hate them, espesially those that raped my mother that night.Since I grew up with a single mom and was the least strong of the kids I guess I was an easy target. When I became 20 my mother got severe depressions and was in an asylum for 6 years, then again for 6 months about 10 years ago, and for a year about 2 years ago. The toll on our family caused one of my sisters to disconnect fro us, she has not contacted my mom in 20 years now. I get very depressed sometimes too, perhaps every day to some extent, because my life has been so awfull and since I can not get any friends. I work in the tech sector and have my own company, but my will to live is not really there. You can say that I don't live waiting to die, but instead I live waiting to live, waiting for my life to start, sort of. I wish I was happy, but I'm not, this life has put such a toll on me. Most of you probably think I'm a loser, and in your world I am, but I think I have integrety enough to not change my behaviour and personality to fit in. I probably should get a nice girlfriend, but I have had some bad experiences with girls too. My last real girlfriend was in my early 20's. I have tried to find nice girlfriends but it always seems I lack something, like social status, too few friends, don't earn enough, not fit enough, etc. I have found girls to be very superficial. When I go to bars something bad always happends, usually none of my friends or collegues one wants to hang out with me. The last time I went out with a colleguage he met 3 couples that he knew from his childhood, they sang song I did not know so I just tried to smile and drink my beer, after about an hour or two one of his friends leans over to me and says out loud "Why are you still here?". I did not leave them, though. None of them spoke to me all night unless I spoke to them first. When we left for the after party I tried to get to know one of them, he said that he had just got his bachelour in IT but had not found a job yet (this was not the same guy that asked my why I was still there), he asked me my education and I told him that I still had not taken my senior year of college but that I was working in IT. He then started to shout out loud like a mad man "He has not completed his bachelour, what an idiot!" or something like that, over and over again. The time before that I went to a bar I started talking to this nice girl and got good contact, when I came back from the bathroom she had changed here demina towards me and did not want to speak with me anymore. I politily asked here what was wrong and she said that a guy at the bar had told her I was a lunatic that was here alone every night, I told here truthfully that I had not been at this bar since several years ago, and that if that guy knew me so well why did she not ask him what my name was, showing her my ID. She did, and of course he did not know my real name. This # happends to me always, if nothing happends to me when I am out it's because no one talked to me, there is always some drama. In my 16 year professional life I have never been accepted by my collegues, they let me into their clicks occationally but never keep in touch unless they want some favor from me. I'm sick of the human race, you are evil to the bone and I hope you burn in hell. You deserve it. My observation is that humans are selfish, and do nothing without something to gain from it, either directly or indirectly. You are driven by more power alone, always seeking it. I went to a phycologist 10 years ago with my problems, her only suggestion was to give me drugs, I declined.

S&F well written... I consider myself to be some of the above mentioned in the OP but I must say I know my purpose, I can do absolutely anything and everything I put my mind and... or body too. My catch phrase and something I regularly tell my Daughter, "There is no such word as CAN'T".

This thread is like a fancy version of the one I posted a couple weeks back

Awesome post.

I think you will find quite a lot of people on ATS will relate to this myself included, I think its because we think differently that we come here. We reject the programming society tries to force down our throats. The reason we feel disconnected is because in the overall scheme of things we are all too far dispersed. There are too many "normal" people in between us for us to feel normal. These "normal" people are the ones that watch jersey shore and dancing with the stars. They are the consumer machines that drive society. These are the people we are interspersed between and we cant connect with them because we are not like them.

I guess the lesson to learn is that there is nothing wrong with being eccentric. Most of my friends know im not normal, in fact im not like anybody in my family. I actually wear that as a badge of honor. If the world today is the result of the actions of the "normals" then im glad im a minority and me and my people are the balance that tries to keep the human race from spilling over into the pit of self destructive consumerism and ego gratification. Just keep on being who you are and doing what you do. We are all here for a purpose and that i believe is to balance out the insanity that people have come to call normal.

They call us crazy but in a world where everything is upside down. The mad have become the most sane.

Originally posted by satron
I believe the main reason people feel this way is because they have distant parents that never really got to know and guide their children as much as they needed.

Yep and i'm starting to realise that i should just except it and be happy. Its just hard to find like minded people, i love human contact but need to get over my fear of what people think of me.Also i have Inattentive ADHD so people think i'm weird anyway.

Originally posted by Lichter daraus

Originally posted by satron
I believe the main reason people feel this way is because they have distant parents that never really got to know and guide their children as much as they needed.

yep, thats true for sure and also true for most my family. Ya know, they might really like me if they got to know me.

If your home is impersonal and you had no other outlet, the world is going to seem distant.

I feel different, I focus on things others fail to see mostly because they don't want to see them. If they to pay attention to things then they would feel sad about their involvement with something that is bad. This blinds people to the truth. This is not a mental thing, it actually makes us not see or hear things. It makes us hear and see only what we desire to see and hear. It makes our minds interpret things to fit our desires and knowledge. Most people are unaware they are doing it.

I am different, I awakened to find that I had been asleep for a while, just existing and working in society being a good consumer. I am appalled at my own blindness in the past. I purposely blinded myself so I could fit in with society. I am glad I did not permanently turn into a moron.

I am with you on a lot of (but not all) those things.

I am certainly NOT a typical woman.

I don't like shopping, chatting incessantly, or swapping recipes.

I do like nature, nature, and nature. In addition to nature, I like Extra-Terrestrials, Extra-Dimensionals, Space exploration, animals, Angels, and all things "LOVE"

What is wrong with me?

reply to post by Dark Ghost


Wow That was great really great.

some people should probably google the term 'cold reading'.

i never cease to be amazed at how stupid the average person is.

Originally posted by denver22
reply to post by Dark Ghost

 

One of the most sensible threads i have seen on here and i am going to star and flag
Thank you for this thread ill be back like arnie said, and comment further.

Agreed, but I'm gonna comment now lol. Too often do I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Or should be taking crazy pills. I feel like I am seeing through some fog that most are blinded by. Quite frankly, I'm fed up with it.

reply to post by Dark Ghost


This is very descriptive, i like it.This describes me completely and i hope you will type more like this because it would enlighten people in their daily lives.

I found this a while back and book marked it. Maybe some of you will appreciate it.

talentdevelop.com...

Gifted People and their Problems
By Francis Heylighen, PhD [page 1/2]

Highly gifted people have a number of personality traits that set them apart, and that are not obviously connected to the traits of intelligence, IQ, or creativity that are most often used to define the category. Many of these traits have to do with their particularly intense feelings and emotions, others with their sometimes awkward social interactions. These traits make that these people are typically misunderstood and underestimated by peers, by society, and usually even by themselves. As such, most of their gifts are actually underutilized, and they rarely fulfill their full creative potential. This is particularly true for gifted women, as they don’t fit the stereotypes that society has either of women or of gifted people (typically seen as men). The present document is a quick attempt at sketching the overall picture, summarizing the essential characteristics and the kind of problems they tend to give rise to.

Summary of traits

The following is a digest of the traits that are most often listed as characterizing “gifted” or “creative” individuals.

The number of “*” signs indicates how often this trait (or a very similar one) appeared in one of the lists that I found on the web.

As a comparison, I have also included the traits (indicated by a “•”) from Maslow’s description of what he calls the “self-actualizing personality”.

Cognition

**********• original, unusual ideas, creativity, connects seemingly unrelated ideas
******* superior abilities to reason, generalize or problem solve, high intelligence
****** vivid and rich imagination
****** extensive vocabulary, verbal ability, fascinated by words
***** learns new things rapidly
***** excellent long term memory
**** grasps mathematical/scientific concepts readily, advanced comprehension, insightful
**** avid reader.
*** complex and deep thoughts, abstract thinker
** runs mind on multiple tracks at the same time, fast thinker

Perception/emotion

******* highly sensitive
*******• excellent/unusual sense of humour
******• very perceptive, good sense of observation
*****• passionate, intense feelings
***• sensitive to small changes in environment
*** introverted
**• aware of things that others are not, perceive world differently
**• tolerance for ambiguity & complexity
** can see many sides, considers problems from a number of viewpoints
*• childlike sense of wonder
• openness to experience
• emotional stability, serenity

Motivation/values

********** perfectionistic, sets high standards for self and others
*********• very curious, desire to know
********• very independent, autonomous, less motivated by rewards and praise
*******• seeker of ultimate truths, looks for patterns, meaning in life ******* enjoys challenge, penchant for risk-taking
******• outrage at injustice or moral breaches, good sense of justice
****• wide range of interests, overwhelmed by many interests and abilities
****• strong moral convictions, integrity, honesty
****• high drive
**• visionary, realizes visions, sense of destiny or mission
** loves ideas and ardent discussion
• sincerity
• acceptance of self and others

Activity

******* great deal of energy
******• long attention span, sustains concentration on topics of interest, persistent
**** cannot stop thinking, work myself to exhaustion
***• needs periods of contemplation, solitude
• spontaneity

Social relations

*********• questions rules or authority, asks embarrassing questions, non-conforming
*******• feels different, out of step with others, sense of alienation and loneliness
*****• very compassionate
****• empathy: feels along with others, helps them understand themselves

There's more...

What if i was to tell you that you are unprogrammable and there is nothing wrong with you.


What if i was to tell you most were programmable and there was something very wrong with them



What if this was absolutely factual...would it be easier for you?

reply to post by Dark Ghost


I am Eccentric too...
Eloquent in your thread. You have a way of connecting people... S&F

Maybe those of us who relate are a part of the same frequency.....

continued...

Characteristics of Creative Genius

I have always had an insatiable curiosity.
I am able to run my mind on multiple tracks at the same time.
I learn rapidly and retain / apply what I learn.
I tend to be very independent.
I tend to be less motivated than others are by rewards, bonuses, and praise.

At times I have asked embarrassing questions or rudely pointed out truths at the wrong time.

My preference for the complex can fool me into underestimating the simple answer.

I like to refine and improve others' innovations.
I feel comfortable with a wide range of emotions.

I can see many sides to nearly any issue.
Honesty, integrity, and ethics are important to me.
I can help others understand themselves better.
I am a seeker and champion of ultimate truths.

My nervous system is easily aroused, and I am able to discern the slightest changes in my environment (aromas, shifts in light, etc.) or detect irritants (e.g. scratchy sweater label).

I can feel along with and for others.

I set high standards for myself and for others and am my own worst critic.

I tend to look for consistency and security in systems, rules, and orderliness.

I am often considered a "driven" person. I have maintained my childlike sense of wonder.

I am intent on searching out universal truths.

I am deeply disturbed by inequity, exploitation, corruption, and needless human suffering.

I can and do work myself to exhaustion.
Some people think I'm too serious.
I have always been interested in social reform.
I value and will defend diversity.

I have a strong need to "make a difference."
I have a penchant for risk-taking.
I can and do ignore my own needs for the sake of others.

© LIBERATING EVERYDAY GENIUS TM by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen, Psy.D. - retitled The Gifted Adult: A Revolutionary Guide for Liberating Everyday Genius

Characteristics of Gifted Adults

Perfectionistic and sets high standards for self and others.
Has strong moral convictions.
Is highly sensitive, perceptive or insightful. Fascinated by words or an avid reader.
Feels out-of-sync with others.
Is very curious.
Has an unusual sense of humour.
A good problem solver.
Has a vivid and rich imagination.
Questions rules or authority.
Has unusual ideas or connects seemingly unrelated ideas.
Thrives on challenge.
Learns new things rapidly.
Has a good long-term memory.
Feels overwhelmed by many interests and abilities.
Is very compassionate.
Feels outrage at moral breaches that the rest of the world seems to take for granted.
Has passionate, intense feelings.
Has a great deal of energy.
Can't switch off thinking.
Feels driven by creativity.
Loves ideas and ardent discussion. Needs periods of contemplation.
Searches for ???? in their life.
Feels a sense of alienation and loneliness.
Is very perceptive.
Feels out of step with others.

© The Gifted Resource Center and Lesley Sword, Ph.D.

[See titles by Lesley Sword on Articles: gifted.]

Normal Behavior for Gifted People

It is NORMAL for Gifted People to:

Have complex and deep thoughts. Feel intense emotions.
Ask lots of questions. Be highly sensitive.
Set high standards for themselves. Have strong moral convictions.
Feel different & out-of-sync. Be curious. Have a vivid imagination. Question rules or authority. Thrive on challenge.
Feel passion and compassion. Have a great deal of energy.
Have an unusual sense of humour. Feel outrage at injustice.
Look for meaning in life. Feel sad about the state of the world.
Feel a spiritual connection to life.

© The Gifted Resource Center and Lesley Sword, Ph.D

Most Prevalent Characteristics of Giftedness

99.4% learn rapidly
99.4% have extensive vocabulary
99.3% have excellent memory
99.3% reason well
97.9% are curious
96.1% are mature for their age at times
95.9% have an excellent sense of humor
93.8% have a keen sense of observation
93.5% have compassion for others
93.4% have a vivid imagination
93.4% have a long attention span
92.9% have ability with numbers
90.3% are concerned with justice and fairness
89.4% have facility with puzzles and legos
88.4% have a high energy level
88.3% are perfectionistic
85.9% are perseverant in their areas of interest
84.1% question authority
80.3% are avid readers Descriptions
90% were described by their parents as "sensitive."
83% like to concentrate on one activity at a time.
79% report high energy or activity levels.
44% are sensitive to clothing tags and other tactile sensations.

There's a lot more if you go to that page linked here - talentdevelop.com...

In fact, there are a bunch of articles for people who feel like the rest of the world thinks that they don't make any sense, or vice versa.

If you wouldn't let them pick out a shirt for you, then don't let them define you to yourself. Each one of them sees a different normal anyway. Screw 'em.

reply to post by Dark Ghost


You explained how I am perfectly. Very good post my friend. Some of us are just lost and confused. Hell I'm a hermit my self, always searching, always wondering, but can't seem to ever achieve anything except make other people smile. But I still feel empty.
Once again thank you for writing this, it hit a cord with me.