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Breaking News today in CandyLand! The CottonCandy King found the 4 Gum Drop kids guilty of polluting public liquid supply and sentenced them to 4
hours of Marshmallow Push-Ups , a grueling punishment that many believe too harsh for children of such sweet origins.
The Gumdrop Kids defense team announced their plan to submit proper forms of appeal to Willy Wonka himself, in an effort to overturn the ruling and
subsequent harsh sentence.
The Gum Drop kids were discovered by Sherriff Pop Tart, polluting a local lake. After being caught brown-handed, the kids were found guilty of
skipping pieces of peanut-brittle across the Dark Chocolate lake, making the lake’s chocolate unsuitable for the upcoming “Candies of All Colors
The annual festival allows patrons access to the fresh supply of chocolate, where many set up booths and use the fresh chocolate to create new and
exotic combinations from a wide variety of CandyLand races.
Just last year a group of former Gumball Queens introduced the first known gumballs with chocolate centers. The highly controversial act of mixing
decadent, refined candy with a chewing gum that is mainly used by common folk and children, garnered mixed reviews and eventually won critical acclaim
for it’s taste and the courage exhibited by the Gumball Queens in bringing this new combination into public view.
This years festival will undoubtedly be lacking because of the careless actions of the guilty yutes (youths).
The Graham Cracker Prince, representing the mid size country of Candida, made it abundantly clear that Candida’s citizens and the Prince himself
are extremely disappointed in the exclusion of Chocolate Lake.
He asserts this year’s festival will be only a hard candy shell of past festivals, due to the lack of involvement he and many other graham crackers
will have available.
He did note that Marshmallow Duke and the candies of Duke’s country would also suffer dramatically with the absence of Chocolate Lake.
However, he does believe the Graham Cracker citizens will suffer more, due to the satisfaction the Duke will get from hand picking the marshmallows
from the powerful ranks of their Marshmallowtary to use in the punishment of the Gumdrop Kids.
This will mark the first year no smores will be present in the festivities since their first appearance thousands of years ago.
The 4 yutes (youths) will meet with the juvenile development officer in Monopoly Square, where they will be scheduled to carry out their sentence.
Marshmallow Pushups are a highly controversial punishment in their own right. It involves each of the 4 guilty Gum Drop kids being forcefully jammed
into a giant marshmallow, leaving only their heads exposed through the top, their feet through the bottom, and their hands from the wrists exposed in
Once they are positioned properly inside the marshmallow, they will be tipped over and forced to attempt push-ups with little to no wiggle room inside
the marshmallow itself. This will go on for 4 hours, where exhaustion is commonplace and dehydration is feared.
Many opposed to the unusual punishment believe a life long physical deformation could result to the Gum Drop kids, because of their physical
consistency. A protest to the punishment has been scheduled, where those opposed to the punishment will attempt to shine a light on the possible
crippling effects the Marshmallow Pushups may have on the guilty yutes.
One protester said, “I really feel for these Gumdrop Kids and their parents. It should be common sense that forcing these young kids into
Marshmallow Pushups for any length of time will only serve to damage these kids for life. Should they have to endure a life with a slimy, shrunken,
and maybe even oozing body, created by the incandmane punishment of Marshmallow Pushups?”
Another group of protester was overheard talking among themselves, “Gumdrop Kids are not some sort of canndibals and shouldn’t be sentenced to
such terrible punishments!’ Following that, another protester replied, “Kids will be kids, they can’t always be sweet! Some kids, who appear to
be sweet, have sour centers and we shouldn’t fault them for that!”
Also on hand were those who support the sentence handed down and commended the Cotton Candy King for being so brave in the face of potential
One of those supporters had this to say, “It’s true, kids will be kids, but that doesn’t mean we should allow them to be unruly or to get away
with the obvious laws they knowingly break”.
The same supporter went on to add, “We all know some kids are naturally sweet, some are sour, and some are both. We all know what each kid is, they
do not lie about what they are and they are accepted for that. Recently, there have been rumors of sweet kids claiming that, even though they appear
sweet, they are sour and they were born that way. Although there is no current culinary evidence to support these claims, more and more candy kids
are claiming they feel this way.
A lot of citizens believe these kids are using the seemingly outrageous claims to get away with candy crimes.
We asked one opinionated citizen for their thoughts on this and they answered with, 'How can we keep a control of our society when we can no longer
identify the ingredients of our yutes? These kids are our future, allowing them to manipulate us, claiming they are not what the Great Candy
Confectioner created them to be, would only serve to demolish our society!”
As you can see, what started as a standard trial of juvenile Gumdrop kids has escalated into a modern cultural debate, touching on many current event
topics such as;
‘Should Cookie families have the right to send their doughy children off to mature at the bakery, before the children have decided what they want
to be? ‘
Some parents see this as family tradition, even holding dough mitzvah celebrations as a right of passage into fresh baked cookie adulthood.
Many of those adults also believe the important choice of becoming a chocolate chip, peanut butter, macadamia, double chocolate, coconut, etc, etc.
cookie should be a decision for the parents and the dough kids should have absolutely no say in the decision.
‘Should cakes and other sweet pastries be considered a candy, if so, which category of candy would they fall under or would a new category need to
be made for them?’
The list goes on and on and has been brewing for some time now. The recent infamous trial and sentencing of the Gumdrop Kids seems to be exactly what
was needed to push tempers past the boiling point.
It is feared that further blending of these highly opinionated topics could incite rioting. Boycotts of butter, margarine, vegetable oil, and eggs
may also begin and would have an immediate negative impact on the, already unstable, eggconomy.
edit on 6-6-2012 by esteay812 because: tyops and bad grammar... but there is probably still much more bad grammar, don't slap me too hard over