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Incredible Breaking News from CandyLand!!!

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posted on Jun, 6 2012 @ 02:08 PM
***Moderator Note: The content of this thread is obviously fiction. Having this forum in mind, I wrote the thread in a fictional manner to take the edge off and provide a break from the very serious, extremely important, and potentially stressful content found in the majority of threads that make this forum. Knowing my intent, if you feel this thread is inappropriate in this forum, please move it to what you believe to be a more suitable forum***

Breaking News today in CandyLand! The CottonCandy King found the 4 Gum Drop kids guilty of polluting public liquid supply and sentenced them to 4 hours of Marshmallow Push-Ups , a grueling punishment that many believe too harsh for children of such sweet origins.

The Gumdrop Kids defense team announced their plan to submit proper forms of appeal to Willy Wonka himself, in an effort to overturn the ruling and subsequent harsh sentence.

The Gum Drop kids were discovered by Sherriff Pop Tart, polluting a local lake. After being caught brown-handed, the kids were found guilty of skipping pieces of peanut-brittle across the Dark Chocolate lake, making the lake’s chocolate unsuitable for the upcoming “Candies of All Colors Festival”.

The annual festival allows patrons access to the fresh supply of chocolate, where many set up booths and use the fresh chocolate to create new and exotic combinations from a wide variety of CandyLand races.

Just last year a group of former Gumball Queens introduced the first known gumballs with chocolate centers. The highly controversial act of mixing decadent, refined candy with a chewing gum that is mainly used by common folk and children, garnered mixed reviews and eventually won critical acclaim for it’s taste and the courage exhibited by the Gumball Queens in bringing this new combination into public view.

This years festival will undoubtedly be lacking because of the careless actions of the guilty yutes (youths).

The Graham Cracker Prince, representing the mid size country of Candida, made it abundantly clear that Candida’s citizens and the Prince himself are extremely disappointed in the exclusion of Chocolate Lake.

He asserts this year’s festival will be only a hard candy shell of past festivals, due to the lack of involvement he and many other graham crackers will have available.

He did note that Marshmallow Duke and the candies of Duke’s country would also suffer dramatically with the absence of Chocolate Lake.

However, he does believe the Graham Cracker citizens will suffer more, due to the satisfaction the Duke will get from hand picking the marshmallows from the powerful ranks of their Marshmallowtary to use in the punishment of the Gumdrop Kids.

This will mark the first year no smores will be present in the festivities since their first appearance thousands of years ago.

The 4 yutes (youths) will meet with the juvenile development officer in Monopoly Square, where they will be scheduled to carry out their sentence.

Marshmallow Pushups are a highly controversial punishment in their own right. It involves each of the 4 guilty Gum Drop kids being forcefully jammed into a giant marshmallow, leaving only their heads exposed through the top, their feet through the bottom, and their hands from the wrists exposed in the front.

Once they are positioned properly inside the marshmallow, they will be tipped over and forced to attempt push-ups with little to no wiggle room inside the marshmallow itself. This will go on for 4 hours, where exhaustion is commonplace and dehydration is feared.

Many opposed to the unusual punishment believe a life long physical deformation could result to the Gum Drop kids, because of their physical consistency. A protest to the punishment has been scheduled, where those opposed to the punishment will attempt to shine a light on the possible crippling effects the Marshmallow Pushups may have on the guilty yutes.

One protester said, “I really feel for these Gumdrop Kids and their parents. It should be common sense that forcing these young kids into Marshmallow Pushups for any length of time will only serve to damage these kids for life. Should they have to endure a life with a slimy, shrunken, and maybe even oozing body, created by the incandmane punishment of Marshmallow Pushups?”

Another group of protester was overheard talking among themselves, “Gumdrop Kids are not some sort of canndibals and shouldn’t be sentenced to such terrible punishments!’ Following that, another protester replied, “Kids will be kids, they can’t always be sweet! Some kids, who appear to be sweet, have sour centers and we shouldn’t fault them for that!”

Also on hand were those who support the sentence handed down and commended the Cotton Candy King for being so brave in the face of potential ridicule.

One of those supporters had this to say, “It’s true, kids will be kids, but that doesn’t mean we should allow them to be unruly or to get away with the obvious laws they knowingly break”.

The same supporter went on to add, “We all know some kids are naturally sweet, some are sour, and some are both. We all know what each kid is, they do not lie about what they are and they are accepted for that. Recently, there have been rumors of sweet kids claiming that, even though they appear sweet, they are sour and they were born that way. Although there is no current culinary evidence to support these claims, more and more candy kids are claiming they feel this way.

A lot of citizens believe these kids are using the seemingly outrageous claims to get away with candy crimes.

We asked one opinionated citizen for their thoughts on this and they answered with, 'How can we keep a control of our society when we can no longer identify the ingredients of our yutes? These kids are our future, allowing them to manipulate us, claiming they are not what the Great Candy Confectioner created them to be, would only serve to demolish our society!”

As you can see, what started as a standard trial of juvenile Gumdrop kids has escalated into a modern cultural debate, touching on many current event topics such as;

‘Should Cookie families have the right to send their doughy children off to mature at the bakery, before the children have decided what they want to be? ‘

Some parents see this as family tradition, even holding dough mitzvah celebrations as a right of passage into fresh baked cookie adulthood.

Many of those adults also believe the important choice of becoming a chocolate chip, peanut butter, macadamia, double chocolate, coconut, etc, etc. cookie should be a decision for the parents and the dough kids should have absolutely no say in the decision.

‘Should cakes and other sweet pastries be considered a candy, if so, which category of candy would they fall under or would a new category need to be made for them?’

The list goes on and on and has been brewing for some time now. The recent infamous trial and sentencing of the Gumdrop Kids seems to be exactly what was needed to push tempers past the boiling point.

It is feared that further blending of these highly opinionated topics could incite rioting. Boycotts of butter, margarine, vegetable oil, and eggs may also begin and would have an immediate negative impact on the, already unstable, eggconomy.

edit on 6-6-2012 by esteay812 because: tyops and bad grammar... but there is probably still much more bad grammar, don't slap me too hard over it, please!

posted on Jun, 6 2012 @ 02:09 PM
reply to post by esteay812

The families of the 4 guilty Gumdrop Kids have not made an official public statement yet, but that may change quickly over the next few hours or days.

The most highly respected and prominent citizen of CandyLand has come forward, requesting that the criminal’s family members go public with their thoughts.

The Gingerbread Man announced yesterday that a statement from the families could go a long way in reducing tensions that continue to grow more everyday.

It’s hard to believe so many things can be connected to the, seemingly simple, trial and sentencing of 4 Gumdrop Kids.

The judgment is final and no pardon seems probable for the candy kids.

The only things left to do are praying the kids don’t suffer any long-term deformities resulting from the controversial punishment of Marshmallow Pushups and learn their lesson!

Also, we can all hope the public attention results in changes for the better. Amending the Candstitution of the United Sects of CandyLand is rarely accomplished and is much harder than it appears.

Last attempt of amendment took place 17 years ago, in the case of the Candy and Caramel Apples. The proposed amendment included legalizing removal of apple skins before coating them in caramel or hard candy.

Hopefully all citizens of CandyLand will learn lessons from this unfortunate news and work harder to ensure our society progresses in a positive way as we move into the future.

In the words of King LaffyTaffy - the Great Salt Water Taffy King, who demolished latent taffyism, which led to the unification of East TaffyTown and West TaffyTown:

‘Think not what your ingredients can do for you, but what you can do for your ingredients’ and…

‘Read - My - Lips! We are a society of great dissolve, we will stop at nothing in apprehending and severely punishing those responsible for the corruption and pollution of our beloved CandyLand!’

posted on Jun, 6 2012 @ 02:32 PM
reply to post by esteay812

Reposted to facebook.

posted on Jun, 6 2012 @ 02:48 PM
reply to post by grey580

haha, thanks for sharing this with others.

I was tired of seeing such negative and serious news all the time, as well as allowing myself to be caught up in some aspects of it, I decided to spoof some of the common things we hear about. Hopefully it wille help reduce some stress or any fear some of us may have as a result of the chaotic social issues we are being exposed to on a daily basis.

Thanks again for your post and I do appreciate you sharing the thread content with others

posted on Jun, 6 2012 @ 02:48 PM
Very creative......You had me at the country of Candida. lol

There are more than 20 species of Candida, the most common being Candida albicans. These fungi live on all surfaces of our bodies. Under certain conditions, they can become so numerous they cause infections, particularly in warm and moist areas. Examples of such infections are vaginal yeast infections, thrush, skin and diaper rash, and nailbed infections.

edit on 6/6/2012 by Sparky63 because: Comments

posted on Jun, 6 2012 @ 03:27 PM
reply to post by Sparky63

Thanks Sparky! I do appreciate you acknowledging the creativity..

Honestly, I had never heard of anything Candida before. I was trying to think of a fictional name using a type of candy as the root. I thought, 'Candy... Candyville... CandyTown... already used CandyLand..., Candy...Candies... Canada..,Candada...Candida, that's it! Whooo Hooo, Candida it is!' haha.

Thanks for the info on what the real Candida is. Itseems like it would be something we would all be aware of to some degree, considering where they live. Reminds me of the Sea Slug thread from a few days ago, I never realized such impressively good looking slugs lived in the oceans.
edit on 6-6-2012 by esteay812 because: tyops

posted on Jun, 6 2012 @ 03:31 PM
reply to post by esteay812


The Cottoncandy King met with the Duke of Marzipan today and reports are flowing out.

The Cottoncandy King has asked for the advice of the Duke of Marzipan, being a neutral party on the situation. On the suggestions of the Duke of Marzipan all consumers of Candyland foods will be subjected to taste bud tests to insure that the sensations of the taste buds have not changed making sour taste sweet.

This project will be funded by the Candyland Department of Agriculture and is expected to cost 3.3 Trillion sugar grains to evalute, 3.9 Trillion to develop a vaccine, and another 6.2 Trillion to implement. It is told to Candylands foremost authority in news, MARZ News Network, the purpose of this study is to determine if the youngsters are indeed becoming more sour to the taste as an explanation into the temper tantrums and assaults on Societies welfare by defiling Chocolate Lake.

As a result, the Cottoncandy King has decided to postpone this years festivities and the execution of the sentence to the Gum Drop kids pending the results of the study. During which time, the Candyland Corps of Engineers will begin to siphon Chocolate Lake of its impurities at the cost of 12.4 Billion sugar grains. This project is scheduled to be completed in 4 months which is the time limit set for the studies guidelines to be completed as well.

The Candyland King promised today, that chocolate from Chocolate Lake will be available for the Festival and cheers filled the air. When MARZ News contacted Willy Wonkas factory on these developments, Willy Wonka is quoted in saying "I have no comment at this time. I am still reviewing the case. I assure you this matter will be looked into in a timely fashion.".

And we go back to your regularly scheduled programing. If any new details come forth we will keep you informed.
edit on 6-6-2012 by Agarta because: skipped a word needed to put it in

posted on Jun, 6 2012 @ 04:16 PM
reply to post by Agarta

Haha, nice! Sounds like CandyLand is much different than we were lead to believe during our childhoods.

Maybe more ATS members have information about fresh breaking news and current events from CandyLand and will be willing to keep us informed with updates here, as more information becomes available.

P.S. I did catch wind of a back-up plan that they are planning to use as a last resort.

Apparently the Cotton Candy King is a member at ATS who goes by the screen name - 'Bean Pole Kitten" and he plans to use info he learned in a recent ATS member thread.

It was discovered the King had placed massive orders for an amazing fruit known as 'Miracle Fruit'.

This fruit has properties unlike any other. The fruit binds to the taste buds and, as a result, causes all foods to taste sweet. How he plans to administer that miracle fruit, as a last resort effort, remains to be seen.

It is suspected he will equip his personal 'Airplane Piñata' with tanks capable deploying the miracle fruit in a gaseous form. This type of exposure is known by many as chemtrails, but dismissed by even more as non-existant.

I guess we will see if it is true if the King is forced to use this last resort plan

edit on 6-6-2012 by esteay812 because: tyops

posted on Jun, 7 2012 @ 09:57 AM
This thread was moved here from social issues and civil unrest forum. Thanks for allowing the thread to stay in that forum for several hours, to reach some of the people who frequent that forum and may not see it in it's new and more appropriate home here.

Hope it lightens your day a bit!
edit on 7-6-2012 by esteay812 because: tyops

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