i am bored of this life.
yes im young, yes theres still much for me to see, but im just not interested in worldly pleasures anymore (physical, emotional, etc). Yes theyre
great and all but idk, i feel like theres something better out there.
i realize my life will never be as glamorous as i want it to be, and because of that, well i want a new one.
so before i go on i should say that yes im depressed but i personally believe that depression is one of the necessary steps to do this. I mean why
would you want a new life if you're happy with the one you got?
but there are things keeping me from reaching my goal.
theres my ego, it just wont let me die. I dont want to be seen as that person who couldnt handle life and killed himself, i dont want to be a coward
and abandon my family..what if they need me? I guess i grew up thinking that people who kill themselves are weak and selfish and i dont want to be
seen as such.
but why is suicide taboo? we all die eventually, so why is it frowned upon?
then theres the process, how would i end my life, where would i do it?
i dont want to make a bloody mess nor do i want to surprise my family when they find a corpse in the house. I could tell them beforehand but i cant
just say "so yeah i love you guys but im going to kill myself soon" because i would probably get locked up in rehab
then of course theres the fear of the unknown..no one really knows what happens when you die... i like to believe that our souls are eternal and that
this is just one of my many lives..but who knows.
so the more i think about this, the more excuses i keep coming up with and i think, well do i really need to die?
Sure my life sucks, but it has its moments..what if the day after i kill myself everyone gains superpowers lol
if you werent happy with your life, would you kill yourself in hopes of finding happiness in the afterlife or would you just deal with the fact that
you will be unhappy most of the time and hope that somehow along the way, you find some happiness here?