Public Grade School Over-steps Bounderies

Originally posted by Chickensalad
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

I dont believe so. Im not sure if she was actually diagnosed, or if it was just a suggested reason for her behavior. What would constitute a legal diagnosis? She doesnt take any medication, we just have to deal with her a little bit different than the other children. Theres no room for losing your cool with her, you have to maintain rationale and keep your calm, and not argue with her points. Then she eventually calms down and usually apologizes without hesitation.

A legal diagnosis would have to come from your doctor.

It doesn't sound like ODD to me, though. My guess is that she just needs a place to calm herself without adults engaged in a power struggle.

Perhaps the school has a "cooling off" room for these children?

Originally posted by fixer1967
If this kind of crap keeps up I for see teachers and school staff being targeted. They forget they have to go home some time and they may be a day coming that they do not make it home. I do not have any kids and never will but I can see where this is going. It is sad to say it but it is going to take a teacher getting murdered for attacking some ones kids before they even think about changing the way they do thing.

Most teachers are teachers because we truly care about children. We certainly don't teach for the pay, the respect of society, or the acceptance of others.

Yes, there are terrible teachers out there. But the majority are hard working, loving individuals.

reply to post by Chickensalad


Wow, I never heard of ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) before. Is that the new term for disrespectful brat?

What would you have preferred the school to do, call the police and have her handcuffed because she refused to obey a verbal order to leave the classroom? I mean you can't have it both ways. If teachers, guidance councelors, and security guards can't apply reasonable force to escort misbehaving children out of the classroom, then the police will need to be called to remove them in every similar case.

You say you realize your child was misbehaving, but now you want to press charges for a bruise. You should be apologizing to her teacher for her bad behavior and putting her on punishment. Huge waste of everyone's time and tax payer dollars because your child wasn't trained to have any manners. Real nice story.

reply to post by Chickensalad


Well my son has apraxia, and had a team of speech therapy, he is almost normalized pretty much that way, and occuptaional, it affects his muscles, tongue, throat even in swallowing but we to practice more and more, he now tries pop corn again with juice beside him. The signal doesnt get through to the muscle.

Now, he is also high energy, they would want him medicated, but I said no way. And despite his high energy has a heart murmur and gets pains in his chest, so I took him out of PE. Though he jumps around alot at home. My father is a work a holic or was, and high energy and same hazel eyes, looks like dad, but nature gave him a warning with his heart, so I try to get him to slow down and meditate with hemysnc to give a whole brain wiring, which is what apraxia is, a disruption in the wiring. He more or less refuses most of the time, so its trying to find ways without bullying him.

Home schooling him makes my hair stand on end. But, I can't traumatize him, he's had enough, even shame from wetting pants, due to the muscle problem, he doesnt feel it until its right about to happen, when he's out playng in the field.

So, what I'm doing, is, he was on a moderate program, not getting real grade materail anyway, so he's going to retake the grade 5 material but only he will do it, as slow as it takes and this time it will be the real grade 5 stuff. So I don't know what will happen, except we orderd some text books/excercise books, grade 4 english made easy adn math made easy and another work book, plus my father is an ex teacher, with good ideas for getting him to comprehend things, but his nerves wont stand for doing the schooling, but he can overview and come up with ideas, and maybe testing.

So these books just came, so I'm going to start next week printing out excercises and getting him caught up on grade 4. His brother already printed off some pages for fun, and had him fill them out and he got them, he didn't get anything wrong, so maybe its going to work. His brother also has apraxia and around 10-11, he suddenly caught up and got put in normal schooling.

So, I've kind of been waiting for this for my youngest, but the muscle stuff is still a problem.

Anyway, as hard as it is, even if it takes him longer, to get through a course, the plus side is, he's going to be on the real grade level material, and if he can master that, then he has so many more optioins in the future.

Originally posted by smyleegrl

Originally posted by fixer1967
If this kind of crap keeps up I for see teachers and school staff being targeted. They forget they have to go home some time and they may be a day coming that they do not make it home. I do not have any kids and never will but I can see where this is going. It is sad to say it but it is going to take a teacher getting murdered for attacking some ones kids before they even think about changing the way they do thing.

Most teachers are teachers because we truly care about children. We certainly don't teach for the pay, the respect of society, or the acceptance of others.

Yes, there are terrible teachers out there. But the majority are hard working, loving individuals.

You sound like you maybe a teacher. I feel sorry for the good ones because they will be then first ones thrown under the bus when the backlash hits. The schools will feed teachers to the grinder to protect its self and the good ones will be the first.

reply to post by Chickensalad


That is VERY messed up! I would file a lawsuit, and demand that criminal charges were filed, for abuse, against the school staff that dragged her, etc. I would also be VERY curious about what, exactly, it was that the teacher wanted them all to read aloud. Several students refused? WHY? Why, if several refused, was she the only one removed? Something VERY off here, and you need more information. Your GF should not let this issue go. A long talk with her daughter, with the child understanding she isn't in trouble, is needed, and if possible, some talks with other students in the class at the time, and their parents. Someone bruised MY kid like that, I would be furious! Even hearing about this sort of thing makes me mad. A lot of bad school staff out there (though NOT all of them - have to be fair), so I would definitely pursue this issue.

Originally posted by MaryStillToe
reply to post by Chickensalad

 

Wow, I never heard of ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) before. Is that the new term for disrespectful brat?

What would you have preferred the school to do, call the police and have her handcuffed because she refused to obey a verbal order to leave the classroom? I mean you can't have it both ways. If teachers, guidance councelors, and security guards can't apply reasonable force to escort misbehaving children out of the classroom, then the police will need to be called to remove them in every similar case.

You say you realize your child was misbehaving, but now you want to press charges for a bruise. You should be apologizing to her teacher for her bad behavior and putting her on punishment. Huge waste of everyone's time and tax payer dollars because your child wasn't trained to have any manners. Real nice story.

Refusing to read some unknown passage, that SIX other students also refused to read, and none of them were asked to leave the room? That does NOT constitute behavior for removal to some "behavior room", whatever that is, and it certainly doesn't excuse her being dragged from the classroom, and bruised and scratched! There is a lot about this that we don't know yet, and there is NO WAY that bruising a student for refusing to read something (and I really want to know what that something was!) is justified. That's abuse. If we bruised our own children for disobeying, we would be charged with abuse, so why should a school staff member NOT be?

so what happened here?

we are all so very pissed about what happened to your daughter. Please tell us there is some hope of justice to be done...

reply to post by LadyGreenEyes


Teachers have the right to ask uncooperative and disruptive students to leave the classroom. The girl chose not to participate and received an instruction to leave the classroom. She was not bruised for not reading, the bruise was only a result of having to be physically forced out of the room.

From grade school to high school, I have never seen a student refuse a teacher's instructions to leave the classroom and report to some authority's office. She didn't even care that the issue was escalating to the point where her parents would be called. She has ZERO respect for her parents. By blaming the school, the parens are telling her that she is not responsible for any consequences that happen as a result of her disrespectful and bad behavior.

If her parents don't teach her better now, they are doing her a disservice because she will have to learn the hard way. She sounds like she's a few incidents away from problems with the police.

reply to post by BIHOTZ


We called the Super the following Monday, he said that he felt the school did nothing wrong. The police dept. decided that they were siding with the school as well.

Marystilltoe-AGAIN, how in the **** is it ok for a school to abuse your child for misbehaving? You cant do that, I cant do that. We would lose our children promptly. I sent her to a public service, where she and I are suppose to be able to trust the people there. She no longer can trust them and neither can I.

There also seems to be discrencies between what the school told the police and what they told us.

I dont have anything to put into a lawyer either.

Forgot to add that when we told the super that we didnt feel she should have to go back and "hangout" with the very same two people that abused her and lied like abusive parents, he said that it might ruin her chances of going on to the next grade. She at the time had 7 days left of the year, she has only missed 2 the entire year, making a total of 9 missed days....pretty sure you need somewhere between 14-20 missed days for it to hold you back.

reply to post by Chickensalad


If you don't trust the school, then the best alternative is to homeschool. However, from the way you described the child, it doesn't sound like its actually a job her parents would enjoy doing since she's so undisciplined. It must have been nice to pawn her off on the school system for a large portion of the day.

It's funny that you think you can't trust the school, as if the girl is some fragile flower. Your description of the event doesn't even paint her as being remotely upset or emotional in any way.

How to fix a child of her age? Find out what's most important to her and then take it away as a punishment. Take her to some foster homes in a bad neighborhood and to show her what life is like without parents who care. Let her know what awaits her in the future if she keeps up that bad attitude. If you are firm and convincing, she will change. ODD.. yeah right. I almost laughed when I read that.

This sounds like a psychologist needs to fall down some stairs.

reply to post by Chickensalad


I mean no offense when I say this, but your girlfriend's daughter is a teacher's nightmare. A child can be forcibly removed from class if their behavior is impeding the learning of the other students. The fact is, she refused to go willingly. What did you expect them to do? Let her sit in there and continue to disrupt the class? If the children are refusing to follow directions, then they should be removed....period.

As far as the bruises on the arm, let it go. The girl struggled, and they had to use reasonable force to remove her...it happens. I get bruises just wrestling around in fun with my kids. But I say to let it go, and here's why...if that had been my child, he'd have been given the spanking of his life for showing such enormous disrespect to the teacher and the administration. What your girlfriend is teaching her daughter is far more damaging than a few bruises on her arm. If she had done what she was told, she wouldn't have the bruises to begin with, nor would she be suspended. And as an unbiased onlooker, I'd be more inclined to believe the letter rather than the child's version of the story. Tell your girlfriend she needs to suck it up and be the Mom in this case, and punish her child and get to the bottom of the story before being so quick to believe her child. Kids lie to their parents all the time, and parents believe it because they think, "my kid doesn't lie to me!" Yeah....right. They ALL do at some point!

The lesson you're teaching her if you go through this is that she doesn't have to accept responsibility for her actions. HER ACTIONS forced the administration to act, and you're going to get angry at that? Fix the child, and the administration will never have to remove her again.

Good luck, man. Encourage your girlfriend to be tough on her...she needs it!