Yesterday morning my girlfriend got a call from my step-daughters school. Stating that she needed to come pick up our 10 year old, because she was being kicked out for behavioral issues, for the day. When my girlfriend arrived at the school she noticed bruises on her arm and leg. She asked the the school psychologist where the bruises had come from because she didnt have them that morning before school. The psychologist replied "she did those to herself". The girlfriend then asked what was the issue and what the hell had gone on.

Here's where it gets good.

Apparently, that morning in class, the teacher was trying to get some kids to read a passage aloud in class. She had asked 6 other previous students to read aloud and got a "no" from all of them. She then asked my step-daughter to read aloud and she replied with a "no" as well. The teacher then told her that she needed to either read or get out of the class-room. To which she replied with a "no" as well. Now, she does a an extremely defiant character, there's no denying that. And Im not saying shes right in defying her teacher.

Anyway, the teacher called in the school psychologist to remove her from the class room and take her to a behavior room. She didnt want to go and was resisting. So the psychologist grabbed her by the underam and wrist and proceeded to drag her down the hall, then the stairs to the room. Leaving a hand shaped bruise on her arm and the side of her leg and knee are bruised.

The girlfriend was very unhappy with hearing this and asked to speak with the principal. She then told the girlfriend that she had done those to herself as well and there was nothing she could tell her. So, the girlfriend asked for a request form to move her to another school to which she was told she couldn't.

They left the school and went straight to the local police department and filed a report with them. She made the daughter tell the story to the officer, because she wasn't there. then told him what the school had told her about it.

After the officer gone to follow up with the school on the issue, we received a call from the school stating that she was going to be suspended until next Tuesday. Today, we received a letter in the mail from the school. it had stated that the "student" was taken to the behavior room and then proceeded to curse profanity and pinch and scratch herself. Neither of which she has never done before. She has her tantrums, but has NEVER screamed profanities nor scratch or pinch herself or even tried to hurt herself. The worst thing she screams is "I dont care" to whatever it is your saying to her. Thats just her shutting you out, but the behavior they described in the letter is nothing like her in anyway and a bold face lie. Not to mention he had no signs of any scratches or pinching anywhere on her.

Furthermore, the letter goes on to state again that she is suspended until Tuesday, May 8th. And, that she will not be allowed on the end-of-the-year field trip on the 10th. She will have to stay at the school with the principal.
We called the reporting officer and told him about the letter, and explained that she has NEVER exhibited that kind of behavior. And, that we didn't feel right in sending her back to that school since she was clearly being singled out now. He advised us that it would probably be best to contact the Superintendent Monday the 7th, and explain our situation and our choice to not send her back for the last 8 days of the year.

We have pictures of the bruises and have filed a report. This happened on Friday May 4th. We are waiting to see what happens on Monday to decide where to go. Any ideas of resources would be helpful.

There is SO much I can say here, but Im just kind of looking for opinions on what actions we should take. If your planing on telling me that "she deserved it", or "they did nothing wrong", well, then your not who Im looking to talk to here.

There have been a few incidents like this before involving other families, but nothing was reported and nothing was done. Just forgotten about, until yesterday, when I spoke to a few people and they had a few stories of their own.

I just feel that something has to be done, and if we dont stand up and say something, no one else will. And this school is going to be allowed to to continue thinking that they "own" our children. I cant just sit by and let that happen anymore. They messed with my kid this time, and thats enough for me. Action has to be taken, Im just not sure exactly what.

Hire an attorney and file a civil suit. While I abhor frivolous lawsuits, this kind of behavior from teachers and administrators should not be tolerated. I would also go to your local TV stations and find one who wants to cover it. Schools hate negative publicity. School districts have zero-tolerance policies on lots of things - so should you. I personally have a zero-tolerance policy on strangers manhandling my kid and leaving bruises, I don't know about you.

By the way, if a guy manhandles his wife and leaves bruises, he gets arrested for domestic battery. There should be criminal charges filed in this case. Do you think police would believe a guy if he told them his wife threw a tantrum and started pinching herself? Why would they believe that same fairy tale from the principal?

You should have taken her directly from the school to a lawyer--not the police. Whose side do you think the police will come down on? It may not yet be too late to bring in a lawyer. In any case, I wouldn't deal with the school by myself at this point--they've gone into CYA mode and will lie like 3-year-olds until Hell freezes over before they allow you any satisfaction....

Nothing wrong with filing a police report, God knows schools call the cops on kids all the time.

The officer had good advice. She will probably be targeted by teachers after all the commotion, maybe consider private school, a charter school, or home school if you can't change her public school.

Originally posted by AwakeinNM
Hire an attorney and file a civil suit. While I abhor frivolous lawsuits, this kind of behavior from teachers and administrators should not be tolerated. I would also go to your local TV stations and find one who wants to cover it. Schools hate negative publicity. School districts have zero-tolerance policies on lots of things - so should you. I personally have a zero-tolerance policy on strangers manhandling my kid and leaving bruises, I don't know about you.

I agree, especially on the negative publicity part.

I think, from what you have told us of the story, that the administrators handled the situation entirely wrong. Which is not uncommon in schools (public & private), and for them to suspend her from school right after they got a visit from the police just seems to me like an administrator is taking things out on your daughter and her education.

I remember back when I was in High School the "Discipline Administrator" at the school fudged my attendance record so I would be booted from the school because I found out some "interesting things" about him. Him doing that pretty much threw a wrench into my future and instead of graduating with a regular diploma, I had to go to the "Adult Diploma Program" which is basically a glorified GED. So no, I wouldn't put it past a school administrator to make up stuff just to get back at someone...

I don't know your financial situation to pursue it but I think that I would contact a lawyer for a consultation and see what legal action could be pursued. I would also see if there are any cameras in the school that may have caught some of the incident on film, especially the part that shows the psychiatrist dragging your daughter. I would try to get written statements from any parents that you have talked to that have had similar experiences that detail what took place. Schools get real jumpy when they think they may be facing a lawsuit and you may wind up exposing a terrible psychiatrist who should never have been around kids and get them fired.

And it should also be relatively easily with a hand print bruise to show that it wasn't your daughters by the simple size of it.

I hope you get to the bottom of this and the appropriate action is taking against the parties responsible.

Just a different perspective....

My son started kindergarten this year. He's been suspended eight times for violent behavior. It probably would have been more except I teach in the school.

My son NEVER acts that way at home, and we had no reports of behavior problems from his daycare. Hard to believe what was happening.

Then I witnessed his behavior myself and was appalled. He's now in therapy so hopefully we can figure out where this anger comes from and help him deal with it.

OP, a word of advice. Next time, if you find bruises, take your daughter to a doctor. They can narrow the time frame of the bruising based on color. Since it sometimes takes hours for a bruise to develop, this might stop any potential accusations that the bruising occurred before school.

Originally posted by JibbyJedi
Nothing wrong with filing a police report, God knows schools call the cops on kids all the time.

The officer had good advice. She will probably be targeted by teachers after all the commotion, maybe consider private school, a charter school, or home school if you can't change her public school.

Exactly what I was thinking..is home or charter school an option for you all? You would be surprised to find out that so many childhood behaviour problems stem from their classroom setting. Check it out!

Originally posted by bastet11

Originally posted by JibbyJedi
Nothing wrong with filing a police report, God knows schools call the cops on kids all the time.

The officer had good advice. She will probably be targeted by teachers after all the commotion, maybe consider private school, a charter school, or home school if you can't change her public school.

Exactly what I was thinking..is home or charter school an option for you all? You would be surprised to find out that so many childhood behaviour problems stem from their classroom setting. Check it out!

Charter schools can be a godsend. They can also be worthless just do your research on the school first and you should be fine.

One more thing. Try and find a child advocate. They can sometimes get more done than a lawyer.

As a teacher, if I can answer any questions you might have, just ask. It infuriates me that some teachers are such bullies. School should be a safe learning environment for all.

One more question, not an insult. Does she have any medical issues or diagnosis? Speech, ADHD, etc? If so you may have legal recourses.

If this kind of crap keeps up I for see teachers and school staff being targeted. They forget they have to go home some time and they may be a day coming that they do not make it home. I do not have any kids and never will but I can see where this is going. It is sad to say it but it is going to take a teacher getting murdered for attacking some ones kids before they even think about changing the way they do thing.

I would never send her back. I have my son home, and will be homeschooling him next year, not for being suspended, but because he has a strong anxiety against school and hides in the bathroom or runs home, and it was OK for a while, until he was sick so much, and then the spring break, but then nothing worked from rewards to withdrawal of privileges. And I don't intend to traumatize him with this any longer, its not working, he is himself, not the average kid, so I'm going to find a way to work with him, I don't believe in hammering round pegs in square wholes.

They can't make me send him to school, and he's going to be home schooled.

However if for some reason she is sent to spend the day with the principal who would be bullying and threatening her, then I would have the whole thing taped, but I know if it was me, when I was a child, I wouldn't have gone in, I would have hid too if I was feeling nervous about anything like that. Her feeling have to be taken into account, children are not adults, and don't have the same level of skills and are much more sensitive.