My 7 year old suspened for "sexual harassment"

Originally posted by Darkblade71
Let them do their investigation, and comply with all requests.
It will be written off eventually.

I'm sorry you have to go through this though.

Over zealous teachers and school boards are rampant right now.
You can't get them to stop bullies, but seems they have no problem finding smaller issues to pick on.

NO! don't comply! and for the love of BIG G DON'T SIGN ANYTHING.


NO MATTER WHAT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DON"T SIGN ANYTHING THEY WANT YOU TO SIGN.

ITS A TRAP I PROMISE TO G.

Originally posted by Tripple_Helix
This is absurd to say the least.

When I was 13 I had a boy slap me through the face at multiple times in a row. I just stood there, and asked him if he was done... he just kept hitting me. Eventually I cracked and started crying ( I was trying to be 'strong and brave'). Nobody did anything to help...

The kid got in major trouble, but was never expelled.
Why on earth would they want to expel your kid for something so trivial?

Apparently the little girls parents told the principle they may not want my son around their daughter. Im not sure what they were told about the incident.

The school apparently didnt ask him why he did it, only if he did it. He said he did, he didnt try to lie to them about it, as he was only trying to pull her pants up so her rear end didnt show. From what I have been told so far he was not given the chance to explain this.

reply to post by coop039


I would agree with being cooperative with the school as much as possible. If you fight it too hard, it could be an admission of some guilt in their eyes, which will only make it harder for your son. But, don't be afraid to ask plenty of questions (what exactly is the girl claiming, who witnessed it, does my son have a history of harassing little girls, why the DFS, why the phsyc evaluation, etc.). They are probably having a knee-jerk reaction to complaints from the girl's parents. Just let them know that you will cooperate, but that you need some proof that this is sexual harassment, and not just kids being kids.

If you get a phsyc evaluation, and the counselor says there is nothing wrong with your boy, this will help your case tremendously. If the counselor says there are problems, then you can work on getting them fixed. So, it's a win-win for you and your boy. Best of luck to you.

reply to post by coop039


I promise you, dealing with this rationally and with a level head is your best approach. Do not let your emotions get in the way here. By doing so, you (and your son) are more apt to be given the means to give your (your son's) side of the story. Thus perhaps allowing the "other parents" to see the professed harmlessness of the act in question (as per your son's admission).

If you go into this half cocked and in full defense mode your decision making won't be sound. Use your critical thinking skills. If it seems to escalate to a level that you're not comfortable with then look for a lawyer, there are plenty that offer free consultations.

Originally posted by AzureSky
A psych eval test?
And being investigated by DFS?

What is this world coming to? I've made the decision i'm never having kids until our corporate governments are gone. I wouldn't be able to deal with something like that. I get angry at stupid things, and that is so stupid that i would probably lose my mind on someone.

Stupidity does that to me. Thats why i dropped out of highschool. Thats why i despise the public school system. They're all full of morons who don't know anything, where they teach you to judge your peers and listen to what authority tells you. no questions asked.

Haha, the last semester of the last year of highschool is all i made it to, i snapped and and got up in the middle of class and started to leave "Where do you think your going?" "Im making a decision that i hate everyone in this building, and i don't want to be here", then i gave the vice principal the finger as i left and hopped in my car. Never went back. Theres more to the story than just that.. but yeah.

edit on 25/4/12 by AzureSky because: (no reason given)

Pretty sad that you quit school with less than 1 semester to go. That will be a decision that will haunt you the rest of your life. Sometimes you have to wade through crap to find the gold. You will keep encountering this type of illogical crap all your life. You don't have to embrace it but you will need to deal it with it like an adult if you want to progress. "

Take it from someone who has learned the hard way. I wish I still had the bridges that I've burnt. I've struck the match over stuff that really wasn't all that important in hindsight. Still battling, but less, and still it hurts me most of the time with little to show for it. But I'm slowly learning.

"Surrender, surrender,..but don't give yourself away" - Cheap Trick

As for the OP, don't surrender, this is a fight worth fighting. If all the kid did was pull the pants up to hide the crack, I think this will solve itself. Only a pervert themselves would elevate this to sexual harassment if that was the case. Even if it was only a wedgie. Then we are looking at bullying which shouldn't be a huge issue. If they insist on the pysch test, you must insist that it be performed outside of the school system by a Dr. of your choice. I also wouldn't let DCF into your home. Make them push this ridiculous charge through the court system if they want to pursue it.

Originally posted by SoymilkAlaska

Originally posted by DestroyDestroyDestroy
You're better off homeschooling him; the educational system in America is so worthless.

Let him be social, just keep him away from this brain atrophied school.

Seriously it may be the only way parents can successfully protest these ultra-sensitive, blind justice school policies.

OH PLEASE YES. for the love of your poor child's sanity, please just home school him, or you could find out more on this- "legal unschooling" look it up on youtube. when they want to know something, they learn it.

let your kid be social, but let the poor kid learn at home, school has to be one of the worst experiences in my entire life, its a cruel and extremely over-stressful environment that i wish to never be a part of again.

school isn't even a place of learning anymore, its just a h*ll hole where poor kids are judged for how well they can memorize advanced mathematics and brainwashing with F's for failure just because they simply aren't good at a subject, and drowned in unnecessary testing all day long, every day. its more than enough to make someone "lose it" many MANY times.

please do him a favor and just "understand" and have mercy on him. *hugs*

Boy am I with you on this one.. all teachers do anymore is memorization for the "SOL", AKA # ot of luck test...

if they actually taught kids rational thinking and how to learn the schools and government would have a major problem on their hands... an intelligent electorate!

reply to post by coop039


The kid is 7... the school is just wrong.... period.... this over-reaction by the school is a joke. I am sorry that you have to go through this

reply to post by SoymilkAlaska


You HAVE to comply with child protective services or they WILL take the child.

Plain and simple.

You cannot fight social services, unfortunately they have way to much power.

However when they suggest the child goes on ADHD meds, then you can fight it.
But you cannot interfere with their investigation. That will be breaking the law, and get you into more trouble.

They are required by law to do an investigation, no matter how stupid the cause.
But I do agree that nothing should be signed. They don't usually ask you to sign anything anyways.

Lawyer up now!! And get a good one familiar with these types of cases.

This could escalate out of your control as the state is already involved.

reply to post by seagrass


I would agree with this. If you can afford a lawyer, get one.
Chances are if you do, they will drop the entire thing.

Originally posted by Darkblade71
reply to post by SoymilkAlaska

 

You HAVE to comply with child protective services or they WILL take the child.

Plain and simple.

You cannot fight social services, unfortunately they have way to much power.

However when they suggest the child goes on ADHD meds, then you can fight it.
But you cannot interfere with their investigation. That will be breaking the law, and get you into more trouble.

They are required by law to do an investigation, no matter how stupid the cause.
But I do agree that nothing should be signed. They don't usually ask you to sign anything anyways.

edit on 25-4-2012 by Darkblade71 because: (no reason given)

usually they ask you to sign something that says you agree your a bad parent, and then THAT IN ITSELF, can cause them to be able to call child services MUCH MUCH easier.

don't trust them no matter what!

Originally posted by Darkblade71
reply to post by seagrass

 

I would agree with this. If you can afford a lawyer, get one.
Chances are if you do, they will drop the entire thing.

Agreed. There's a good chance the girl's parents have gotten their lawyer involved, hence the knee-jerk reaction by the school. It's crazy, but that's probably what happened.

Originally posted by SoymilkAlaska

Originally posted by Darkblade71
reply to post by SoymilkAlaska

 

You HAVE to comply with child protective services or they WILL take the child.

Plain and simple.

You cannot fight social services, unfortunately they have way to much power.

However when they suggest the child goes on ADHD meds, then you can fight it.
But you cannot interfere with their investigation. That will be breaking the law, and get you into more trouble.

They are required by law to do an investigation, no matter how stupid the cause.
But I do agree that nothing should be signed. They don't usually ask you to sign anything anyways.

edit on 25-4-2012 by Darkblade71 because: (no reason given)

usually they ask you to sign something that says you agree your a bad parent, and then THAT IN ITSELF, can cause them to be able to call child services MUCH MUCH easier.

don't trust them no matter what!

I agree not to trust them.
And I agree about signing any papers. Read them over first and if you do not agree, do not sign. But from the sounds of this, it could very easily be dropped after the investigation.

I once got into an argument with a police officer over one of my boys(he was 7 at the time) and she tried to walk all over my rights, but I knew what to do and handled it the right way, I stood my ground. The next day Social services and that police officer were at my door and after all was said and done, social services put it down as a personality conflict between me and the officer in question. My son was not guilty of anything other than being a little boy. Sexual harassment is a serious charge, but one that will be thrown out in a court of law because he is only 7, and all he did was pull up her pants. It is a matter of him learning personal space and to keep his hands to himself, not a case of sexual harassment, which I am certain they will rule it, if it even gets that far.

Originally posted by Darkblade71

Originally posted by SoymilkAlaska

Originally posted by Darkblade71
reply to post by SoymilkAlaska

 

You HAVE to comply with child protective services or they WILL take the child.

Plain and simple.

You cannot fight social services, unfortunately they have way to much power.

However when they suggest the child goes on ADHD meds, then you can fight it.
But you cannot interfere with their investigation. That will be breaking the law, and get you into more trouble.

They are required by law to do an investigation, no matter how stupid the cause.
But I do agree that nothing should be signed. They don't usually ask you to sign anything anyways.

edit on 25-4-2012 by Darkblade71 because: (no reason given)

usually they ask you to sign something that says you agree your a bad parent, and then THAT IN ITSELF, can cause them to be able to call child services MUCH MUCH easier.

don't trust them no matter what!

I agree not to trust them.
And I agree about signing any papers. Read them over first and if you do not agree, do not sign. But from the sounds of this, it could very easily be dropped after the investigation.

I once got into an argument with a police officer over one of my boys(he was 7 at the time) and she tried to walk all over my rights, but I knew what to do and handled it the right way, I stood my ground. The next day Social services and that police officer were at my door and after all was said and done, social services put it down as a personality conflict between me and the officer in question. My son was not guilty of anything other than being a little boy. Sexual harassment is a serious charge, but one that will be thrown out in a court of law because he is only 7, and all he did was pull up her pants. It is a matter of him learning personal space and to keep his hands to himself, not a case of sexual harassment, which I am certain they will rule it, if it even gets that far.

edit on 25-4-2012 by Darkblade71 because: (no reason given)

in the end i don't think he should be punished at all.

he should be given some icecream, because that whole experience totally stunk, and then someone should talk to him about how people from school are totally evil jerks.

in my honest opinion...


peace.

I applaud the school for taking swift and positive action.

I'm sorry to disagree with many of the replies here but as the Father of two girls I do have a different view.

Any child male or female should be able to go about day to day schooling without any form of physical assault whatsover.

If the incident as described happened to one of my daughters, I would expect the school to take firm and direct action. Failing to do so can give young minds the wrong impression that it is ok to behave like this.

Not to mention the fact that girls underwear these days, even for 7- 8 year olds can be very minimal in design and an action such as a wedgie can really heart a young undeveloped child.

Untill we know the full story and if anything was said along with the act itself though we should not be too hasty to judge either way.

Originally posted by studio500
I applaud the school for taking swift and positive action.

I'm sorry to disagree with many of the replies here but as the Father of two girls I do have a different view.

Any child male or female should be able to go about day to day schooling without any form of physical assault whatsover.

If the incident as described happened to one of my daughters, I would expect the school to take firm and direct action. Failing to do so can give young minds the wrong impression that it is ok to behave like this.

Not to mention the fact that girls underwear these days, even for 8 year olds can be very minimal in design and an action such as a wedgie can really heart a young undeveloped child.

Untill we know the full story and if anything was said along with the act itself though we should not be too hasty to judge either way.

edit on 25-4-2012 by studio500 because: (no reason given)

Should he have been reprimanded and punished? Absolutely. Should he be suspended for one incident, when we don't know all the facts yet? Not in my opinion. Now, if it had been proven that he had harassed this girl multiple times, that is a different story.

I have a daughter as well. If she came home and told me that some boy had given her a wedgie, I wouldn't be happy about it, and I might call her teacher to see if she knew what happened, and if the boy was reprimanded. I certainly wouldn't demand that he be suspended/expelled for one incident. If he did it to her again, I might demand it, depending on the circumstances.

In my opinion, the school handled this poorly. They should have gotten as many facts as they could - from the kids involved, and from any witnesses. They should have spoken to each set of parents before deciding to suspend anyone. Sometimes little girls lie too.

reply to post by studio500


I agree that action should be taken, but I am going off of what the parent said, it was a simple pulling up of pants. That does not require police,charges, and social services.

The boy is 7 years old, and boys between the ages of 2 and 16 are rough. They do not come equipped with the knowledge of what is ok and what is not. That is a job for the parent, and the child needs to learn this over time through testing of boundaries and being taught. At 7, boys are just starting to learn this process. I am not excusing what he did. However, from the sounds of it as it was said on the board, this was a total over-reaction by the teacher/school. I am hoping that in the end, the child learns to keep his hands to himself, but other than that, I do not see how any sort of criminal action took place.

If he was 13 and did this, I could see a suspension. But this is way over-zealous, unless he physically HURT this other girl.

I have a 7 year old daughter, and if this had happened to her, I would want action taken too, but not criminal actions. Kids are kids and 20 years ago this would of been a non issue and one strictly for the parents to take care of.

The school system is failing and flailing.
A total over-reaction IMO.

Originally posted by studio500
I applaud the school for taking swift and positive action.

Not to mention the fact that girls underwear these days, even for 7- 8 year olds can be very minimal in design and an action such as a wedgie can really heart a young undeveloped child.

Positive action?? The kid is 7yrs old. Not some creepy dude in an ice cream truck.

Skimpy underwear? Yeah, you dont hafta buy it for them. And all the more reason to keep your pants pulled up so your crack don't show.

These are little kids! Sheesh

I agree that Criminal action is not warranted here based on the information we have.

I think the initial suspension is appropriate whilst investigations are made.

As for permanent excusion..... Well based on the facts we have here at the moment I would say no.

I would however expect the School to deal with it as an internal matter at this stage without calling in external agencies. However as I said previously we do not know the full details. There could be an injury or words may have been used or exchanged.

The school may have a blanket policy of informing outside agencies etc.

In my view at this point the suspension is jutified, however don't get me wrong I do feel for the OP too because as parents we all care about our children deeply.

The worst part is being kept in the dark not knowing what is happening and that itself can be traumatic.

I hope the situation resolves well for both sides.

You know it's silly, but my dad got a clip around the ear and dragged home by a policeman when he was 6 and subsequently given a right round of the proverbial by my Nan. That was 80 years ago, apparently his crime was the same thing, sexual harassment. Know what he did? He jumped down from a tree and shouted boo at a group of girls.

So, just so you know, this stupidity isn't new.