Stalking Death

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Greetings, ATS!

Okay, time for you armchair psychiatrists to let me know if I’m completely bonkers or simply….eccentric.

I have a fascination with death. No, I do not go out and kill animals or plants or people to watch them die. It’s not the moment of death that fascinates me. It’s the state of being dead, both physical and metaphysical, that draws me in.

Let me try to explain this better. I hate slasher movies and gore flicks. I don’t even watch the typical war movie because of the extreme violence. Heck, I would have walked out of Braveheart if it weren’t for the fact that Mel Gibson in a kilt was totally hot. And just yesterday I was perusing this thread about the assassination of JFK and went to watch the still frame Zapruder film…and had to stop b/c it was simply too horrific to watch.

So here’s what I enjoy doing, and it might seem strange to some (or many, for that matter). When we travel, especially to historical places, I like to walk through the graveyards and cemeteries. This isn’t a search for ghosts or EVPs or anything like that. I just wander the place, reading tombstones and thinking about the person’s life. I suppose it’s a way to examine my own mortality and attempt to reconcile the fact that someday I will die. Maybe it’s a hope of immortality of a sort, seeing someone’s name on a marker three hundred years after they passed on.

In addition to wandering cemeteries, I enjoy reading and studying about death and deathly matters. No, not how someone died, but the way they were buried. For example, I came across the following website while surfing the net one day: website

The interesting thing about this website: it has pictures of people battling illness, before and after death, with their comments on what its like to be dying. A very sad, yet extremely moving and thought-provoking site. It really made me think about my own life and how I was or wasn’t meeting my life goals.

Another website I found during my internet hunts: website This site shows the catacombs on the island of Palermo in Italy. Apparently the mummies are displayed in various positions, and visitors may tour the catacombs. I would dearly love to visit this place someday. One of the world’s most “famous” mummies rests at Palermo. Her name was Rosalia Lombardo, although she’s better known as Sleeping Beauty. She died at the age of two in 1920 and was embalmbed using a secret formula of sorts….and her body is so remarkably preserved that she lies in a glass coffin. You can see her picture here: Rosalio Lombardo

Of course, almost everyone has heard of the plaster casts of Pompeii. But for you youngsters out there, these casts were made when the ancient Roman city of Pompeii was discovered. The volcano Vesuvius erupted in 79 a.d., burying the city in a thick coat of ash. When the city was excavated, the archeologists discovered the bodies of the dead had decayed inside the ash, which then turned stone-like. This created a “mold” of sorts for the body. When plaster was poured into this mold, a haunting final glimpse of the individual emerged. You can even see the posture the person died in...and in some cases, the expressions on their face. See this website for more information pompeii mummies
Last year I visited a museum that was featuring “Bodies on Tour.” source The exhibits were once living people, dissected and plasticized (I don’t really know how they did it) to show various organs and systems. For example, one person showed all the muscles in the body, one only displayed the nervous system, etc. It was very surreal to see these bodies, to know that they had once been alive, but were now dead and on display for countless to see. There was nothing disrespectful about the displays, and the people had agreed prior to death to be displayed, but it was a very solemn exhibit. Also extremely educational, although children under the age of 12 were not allowed entrance.

So, does anyone else share this same quirkiness, or should I be seeking help immediately?

reply to post by smyleegrl


Seems perfectly normal to me.

reply to post by smyleegrl


im no armchair psychiatrist but, i do no think you are at all bonkers ! if anything i think you're just simply intrigued by death - as any people are... my friends mum is currently studying death at university, she is a carer for the old folks and is also a humanist - so she does marriages and funerals... shes also fascinated by death.

i think its just human curiosity to be honest. usually people are either absolutely petrified by death or want to learn about it and embrace it. for me personally, i have no fear of death - its the circle of life for pete's sake..!
i do often think about it. and by that i mean (like you do) the moment of death... i've always been fascinated by that, even as a child, i would ask my parents - what happens when you 'go through' death - my parents knew what i meant by that... they obviously never had an answer for me.
but i do often wonder what happens, what does it feel like, do you know you are in the moment of death ..?

again, obviously i dont have any idea of what happens at that moment in time... but one day, all of us will truly understand what it is and what its like... and i doubt that moment will ever be documented in anyway.
it should stay like that too...

but no, you're not bonkers lol just curious !!

s+f for thee... thanks for the interesting thread

I love watching early 20th century news reels and really examining the faces of the people in them. I do believe that knowing that these people are all dead now is a large part of the fascination for me. I also find photos and footage of people in the moments before their deaths to be very compelling. Death is a moment that we all will confront, and I can't see how being aware of it and viscerally affected by how other people have dealt with it when they confronted it is peculiar as an interest. Death is certainly more compelling than D-list ex-celebrities that have lined up to ballroom dance their stalled careers back into viability. Not that you'd think so by the network TV line-up, but then CSI has been doing pretty well for quite a while too, and that's all about sticking your fingers into the open wounds of corpses.

reply to post by NorEaster


Your post reminded me of another one of my strange fascinations with death.

Whenever I watch a movie with a deceased actor, I just dwell on that through the whole movie. Like one of my all time favorite movies: Miracle on 34 Street (the original). Everytime I watch that movie I can't help but think about how everyone is now gone.

Also, eating at Cracker Barrell Restaraunts. They have an "antique" theme to the decor, which includes old photogrpahs of folks. Can't help but look at the photos and think....where are you now...

reply to post by smyleegrl


i would see that as showing how u really are existing much for urself, reading ur posts made me realize smthg i never thought about in those terms
mayb i never look to others really or myself bc i dont take us very seriously but it means that i dont particularly exist to myself in fact

for me there is no issue with death but with being killed of course especially from the perspective that a killer can reach to exist objectively, i have real issue to admit that

but death as its fact i see it as it is, nothing to think about, so it is stupid thought and since no thought is nothing then who mean their death surely mean smthg else

mayb im better relative so for me as long as objective truth is free all is normal while that is all what exist
n since i exist negatively then the issue is evil bringing my rights out and not me while of course i have no interests in being nor living since it is a negative fact and objectively it is more hell then i can bare say

this is the only issue i see about existence that noone care about while everyone abuse and enjoy taking advantage of

i dont get that point, how can u take advantage from someone else hating u? as if it becomes an excuse to force urself and fart on it while enslaving it to ur life superiority

it proves how truth is all what exist really, freedom
so u r not real while abusing what exist, so by destroying reality of existence and denying existence essence, a sense of evil existence is really alive
so evil exist as living reality through each others the oness ways
when truth exist as objective free reality fact so opposite of one

reply to post by smyleegrl


I don't think that is unusual at all. I love cemetaries, the older the better. I am now fortunate enough to have one that I tend to as a sideline to my current job. It is another form of history, but on an individual level. I also, 'like' is not the right word but there is nothing I can think of as an alternative, to look at crime scene photos, autopsy photos, the such like. In Victorian times it was fashionable to take arranged pictures of the dead, as memorials or reminders...and there is someting very reassuring in looking at the faces of the dead that I can't quite describe. I find it fascinating how, when comparing a living photo, to a postmortem one, the eyes are so incredibly different. Life and no life, it is apparent. So, either we're both freaks or we're just within the spectrum of relatively normal. Now, if you become in any way sexually aroused in this process...well...then you need to worry...otherwise, I think it is fairly rational, especially as women, to be comfortable in the presence of death, afterall, it was our job for centuries to care for the dead, and to hold vigil with the dead until the soul departed. You could say it is in our genetic memory.

reply to post by Biliverdin


Your comment about genetic memory is intriguing.

I've often thought our society is so removed from the death process that it makes losing a loved one more painful. I've never seen a dead body except at funerals, and there's something almost...plastic, fake about the body. It's not natural, whereas 200 years ago one might routinely come in contact with the dead. So it's almost like death is the final taboo, the elephant in the room no one mentions.

I don't fear dying, yet I do. I guess it's the fear of the unknown more than anything.

And death does not arouse me at all. So I can safely cross necrophilia off the list

reply to post by absolutely


I'm not sure I understood your post, but star for you anyway!

I don't think there is anything wrong with the interests you have described.

I am quite intrigued by cemeteries for some reason as well. Walking through them slowly and reading the headstones tempts me to think about what life was like for them during their period of existence and what journey their souls are on now that they have passed. I also like to see if I can pick up any vibes from parts of the cemetery, maybe an ancestor's spirit trying to communicate with me.

Being intrigued by death is normal but not so common in a everyday conversation, it's kind of taboo.
Intelligent people contemplate death and the moments leading up to it, a life lived should be prepared for this ultimate moment because no one will go with you, and you will have to deal with your own karma earned for lost for the next vessel you'll inhabit. A life lived free from suffering and in a positive light will allow the transition into and through death fulfilled and accomplished correctly.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead deals with the science of death, transition of life into the afterlife and limbo of judged souls, so does the Egyptians book and many more. Don Juan states that each persons death is always overshadowing them and will strike them them in the stomach area when their will to live is extremely weak. The most profound moment of visionary truth will seep into the third eye for the road into hyperspace.

I can relate all to well.
Just curious, is your sign Scorpio??

PLPL

Originally posted by Minori
I can relate all to well.
Just curious, is your sign Scorpio??

PLPL

Nope. Aquarius or Pisces, depending on the chart. I'm on the cusp.
Why???

Hey Smyleegrl!

I am a *lot* like you...especially when it comes to old photographs, and lately, gravestones that have the person's photograph on them. I am fascinated by them, and the older the photo, the more fascinated I become. Even to to the point of sometimes Googling the person's name.
I think that most people have a hard time with the concept of mortality and spend most of their days actively avoiding thinking about death or anything related to it. For some reason, though, people like us can happily live our lives while realizing how transitory it is.
I honestly don't feel that it's a bad thing. I think it's great that the people in these photographs are being remembered. I know that if I were to die, I would be happy to know that years down the road, someone like you would see my picture and would think about me.
So, I think you're just fine.
Either that, or we're both weird.

Some say Death is like finally waking up from the dream

reply to post by smyleegrl


see shrinks are a major problem... what they are basing their opinions on is entirely their own personal experience, who has the right to judge what is normal? a majority would answer this.

psychiatrist are an insult to ones intelligence... they make buku dollars and possibly could not even pass an American citizenship test.

most are tripping in the religious sections, can I come here

reply to post by smyleegrl


see in all reality everyone is afraid of their own death in western culture... they view it as a system of control and the church establishments have been capitalizing off it ever since. See if you try to establish your own truth as it has always been (curiosity seems to come up out of the rocks) but you are not allowed to question... this happened sometime in the past with alot of establishments who made an institution with the western way of life (the Catholic Church) but it is the tremendous wealth and inequality of human nature, they have to justify their own wrong doings and the establishment they themselves have created is only blasphemy to the very God they claim to speak for.

The bible in 1:John instructs them/us be 'selfless' and if you see a person in need then by giving is doing in the ways of the very own christian God would. All this has been a major negative... they are totally antichrist and they make devils by their own actions. This is hard for me to put into words but for a few thousand years now there has been a huge wool pulled over peoples eyes and the founders of my country knew this because here in America this is the first time a western civilization has been separated from the church establishments, but still valuing the best parts of the old ways (like commerce and truth, honesty and exploration) someone else has been holding this for the individual for around 2500 years now. People are blind little sheep being led to the slaughter, whereas the Catholic Pope's are trying desperately to cover themselves in the blood of the lamb so each individual pope may enter this rocking party joint called Heaven.

see Neo... the wool has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth, and the truth is we are all going to die! sometime and the establishment has learned to capitalize off this fear. All the confusion and glitches in the matrix are simply because good men and women dare to question when they themselves know not to harm any living thing (cept roaches eww)

America is coming back to bite the hand that "keeps" them... because they have been feeding you a lie for around 2500 years! the spirit of Christ lives in all of us and they have wanted to keep you on a stick so they can control minds. Americas population are waking up now and their founders possibly knew well in advance what a an empty mind can achieve... its just taking us some time to get here but not really that slow... 200yrs on the timeline is pretty quick.

people are supposed to feel good and be respecting eachother like alot of Heavy Metal concerts I go to they are similar to a new age hippie commune, but the people look very fierce and scary... even though it is designed that way. Jesus Christ which western oriented countries have been telling people is dead and the only person who speaks for Jesus is the Pope... boy they couldn't have been more wrong!

the spirit of Jesus the Christ live in rock and roll... it's how it makes you feel and you can swing to it... its is another one of those great American inventions and this whole time they have been singing back to the establishment which has tried to keep the Christ spirit in us all down!

no longer... we come for them now... the liars keeping us from loving one another. The hippies where never on to this, they tried to separate from the system and make their own... problem with this is they didn't realize everything that has made them was western civilization. (a long journey)

we are alot smarter now and I tell you at one of our concerts if you fall in the 'circle pit' it will not be sooner than you hit the ground that others are picking you up...

the control has given rise to the serial killers and the fascination with death which you yourself claim to be experiencing. This is a big problem... but have no fear! the American Metal Heads have taken up the flame and we design our material to scare those living pants off the ones who have put them on and keep them on us.

we're almost there... have no fears and only believe in Jesus himself, act like him and use your tongue as a sword... do not harm other individuals or animal life for that matter, just know something has been told our forefathers long ago which has been the perpetrating lie. In the last 200 years of the 2500 years since Christ walked this earth, his spirit is emerging and returning from the stones/rocks and it is rolling back to bite the hand that tried to control it.

be good to one another... death creeps up on us all and we should not have to be afraid of it... this has been a vicious cycle of a lie that is drawing to an end.

Slaves
Hebrews born to serve, to the pharaoh
Heed
To his every word, live in fear
Faith
Of the unknown one, the deliverer
Wait
Something must be done, four hundred years

So let it be written
So let it be done
I'm sent here by the chosen one
So let it be written
So let it be done
To kill the first born pharaoh's son
I'm creeping death

Now
Let my people go, land of Goshen
Go
I will be with thee, bush of fire
Blood
Running red and strong down the Nile
Plague
Darkness three days long, hail to fire

So let it be written
So let it be done
I'm sent here by the chosen one
So let it be written
So let it be done
To kill the first born pharaoh's son
I'm creeping death

Die by my hand
I creep across the land
Killing first-born man
Die by my hand
I creep across the land
Killing first-born man

I
Rule the midnight air, the destroyer
Born
I shall soon be there, deadly mass
I
Creep the steps and floor, final darkness
Blood
Lambs blood painted door, I shall pass

So let it be written
So let it be done
I'm sent here by the chosen one
So let it be written
So let it be done
To kill the first born pharaoh's son
I'm creeping death
----------------------------

Muslims and Jews are the same people fellas...

Let My People Go!

reply to post by smyleegrl

Seems ok to me. I think anybody that doesn't think about death on occasion is the one that should be in a straight jacket. I also find death to be interesting, kind of in a sad way. Maybe it's because I want to prepare myself. I want to not feel afraid of losing my life. But ti's hard to get past the sad part.

I think the sad part is why so many people try to avoid it or they instead choose the confines of a religion. Religion will give htem an after-life or it will dull the pain one feels when they contemplate death.

I find myself trying to run away from the idea by theorizing that death isn't significant. For example, I've come up with the idea that every (x) years we change more than the average difference between two people. In other words, we can't stop changing as we age. At some point, the number of changes is comparable to the average difference between any two people. So the result of all this is that we live forever through each other. And even if we did live forever as individuals, we would change so much in (x) time that it would be like dying every (x) time and being reborn. So what's the difference between living forever and not living forever if they both have the same result but go down the road a bit differently? (Change is the constant between them because of evolution and dynamic processes in our universe.)

This reminds me of those sci-fi/horror movies about a mad scientist that somehow finds the fountain of youth. He lives so long and undergoes so many changes that he's a grotesque monster in the end. The traditional (mom and pop) view is that he's zealous and arrogant and vain to attempt to overtake gods will - he failed to exceed gods perfect creation. But these kinds of themes actually have a truth to them because if we did find the fountain of youth I have no doubt in my mind that over the course of several hundreds years we would change significantly in response to multitudes of factors around us. And does that not partially defeat the whole purpose of living forever if we can't live forever as the same person? By this I mean that we cannot stay the same if we live any length of time. Our "self" continually dies!

So why is death sad? Because we want to know our past. When people die, it makes it harder to remember. And time has the tendency to wipe away all of the memories. Even if a particular memory survives, it inevitably gets changed as cultures themselves change and distort its meaning. It changes so much, in fact, it may as well not have been remembered. Other than knowing the past, we also want to know the future. By dying, we're prevented from doing so. We can tell ourselves that everybody is so similar that death is inconsequential, but somehow that's hard to believe and it's not always reassuring.

I think people who become attached to places and things are more affected by this.

We live our lives to overcome, but we cannot overcome death.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Have you ever considered this idea, presented to me by a Buddhist practitioner..

Everyone who has ever lived have all died - and yet, here we all still are!

This would involve I suppose, the idea of reincarnation and soul "recycling" of some kind.

Either way - I think that everything is remembered, at the very deepest level, and so in that sense, no one can BE "dead", and to God (the all in all) every-one is alive.

An interesting encounter with Jesus tells this story, where Jesus turned the idea of death back on his questioners who were talking about certain people being "dead", in response to which Jesus said something like "God is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (three successive generations) - God is the God of the living, not the dead." and in another passage, related to this one I think he said "You are sadly mistaken - to God, all people are alive!

The implication of this teaching is that no one IS dead, and live on, either in eternity (in God or relative to God, as life itself), or, via reincarnation through this present generation, which is we ourselves. They certainly can't be differentiated, the "dead", as having their own autonomous personality (unless a ghost..).

I too think about this, but whenever someone says, about one who's passed on that they "are" "dead", it just doesn't make any sense to me, and I am tempted every time, or say it out loud - "no one can BE dead, what are you talking about?!"

So to say that someone IS dead, it makes no sense and doesn't compute, imho. Why precissely this is so, however, I cannot effectively say, only that it's meaningless to say that someone "is dead", no one can BE dead, it's just not possible.

"You are sadly mistaken, God is the God of Abrham, Isaac and Jacob. He is the God of the living, not the dead. To God all people are alive!"
~ JC

"Everyone who has ever lived have all died - and yet, here we all still are!"
~ Anonymous Buddhist

reply to post by smyleegrl


The reason I asked your sign is because Scorpio traits have a tendency to be captivated with the whole life and death cycle. The spirit in the physical and the life after has fascinated me since I was a little girl, and I happen to be a Scorpio.

PLPL