Time to take water and fire away from the American public!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I want to bring a serious matter to your attention before it is too late to do anything about it. Every year in America, 4,000 people die of accidental drowning, which is the 4th leading cause of accidental death in America. it's time for the government to do something about this, and I suggest that they come and take bathtubs, sinks, and showers away from the American public. They also need to put up giant fences around every body of water, big and small.

The 5th leading cause of accidental death in America is caused by burns and fire. In fact, 3,700 people a year fall victim to this tragedy. It's time for the government to step in and take away all heat producing, as well as flame producing items, and while they are at it, they need to design a planet sized pair of sunglasses with polarized lenses and position them between the Earth and the sun in geosynchronous orbit.

It's time to get serious about this people...

Top ten most common causes of accidental death

I'm starting to think it may be time to take the right to post "_____ should be taken away from the American Public" threads away from the American Public.

reply to post by micmerci


It has been taken away in Arizona.

reply to post by OptimusSubprime


Okay you are being sarcastic right?

Maybe if the american parents watched their american children we wouldn't have so many 'accidents' in america.

How can you all miss the satire here? it's almost more funny than the OP itself!

reply to post by Mkoll


Didn't miss it, just contributing to it.

What is it with a you hippie lefty water haters!!!!!!!!!

If I wanna put a pool on my property and go for a swim i will and Ill be damned if you or anyone else can stop me

Remember its not water that kills people its idiots who cant swim.
Stop trying to control my life

I feel i get more and more stupid by reading threads in here.

Lately with these kind of threads, written with no brain functions at all

Keep up the #ty work ATS

Originally posted by Mianeye
I feel i get more and more stupid by reading threads in here.

Lately with these kind of threads, written with no brain functions at all

Keep up the #ty work ATS

Maybe we should start a thread called "Time to take brains away from the American public, There not using them anyways"

reply to post by OptimusSubprime


LOL! Nicely done While we're at it, it has been shown that 100% of people who have died have at some point in their lives breathed air. 100%!!!!! Ergo, it is now believed that breathing air is a contributing factor in all reported deaths. Please people, for the sake of humanity quit breathing right away!!! The life you save may be your own!

Originally posted by IkNOwSTuff

Originally posted by Mianeye
I feel i get more and more stupid by reading threads in here.

Lately with these kind of threads, written with no brain functions at all

Keep up the #ty work ATS

Maybe we should start a thread called "Time to take brains away from the American public, There not using them anyways"

Wait a Minute.... according to another thread recently posted....you are a disinfo agent...because you used poor grammar or spelling. (BTW - it is "their", not "there")

Before anyone jumps on it- my correction was part of the satire as well. It's "they're". This is fun

reply to post by IkNOwSTuff

Maybe we should start a thread called "Time to take brains away from the American public, There not using them anyways"

You're right.
They're not using their brains.

reply to post by cavalryscout


There, there...if they're not going to use their brains then there is no reason to point out their error.

Ummmm...........

Yeah I meant to do that

Seriously?

*rolls eyes*

talk about parroting...

Originally posted by Mianeye
I feel i get more and more stupid by reading threads in here.

Lately with these kind of threads, written with no brain functions at all

Keep up the #ty work ATS

wish i could give this one 50 stars

the quality of this site is falling fast.

reply to post by IkNOwSTuff


:lolkay

we believe ewe.

reply to post by aching_knuckles


seriously?

*rolls eyes*

talk about missing the point

Originally posted by micmerci
reply to post by aching_knuckles

 

seriously?

*rolls eyes*

talk about missing the point

i didnt miss the point. i understand the attempt at absurdity. but its stupid. and poorly written...a hack job at remaking the jean paul zodeaux thread.

reply to post by aching_knuckles


Other than a missed capitalization in the second sentence it seemed pretty well written. Hack job? Well, that is open to interpretation but I can confirm that OP probably is not a disinfo agent.