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Time to take water and fire away from the American public!

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posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 09:57 AM
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Ladies and Gentlemen, I want to bring a serious matter to your attention before it is too late to do anything about it. Every year in America, 4,000 people die of accidental drowning, which is the 4th leading cause of accidental death in America. it's time for the government to do something about this, and I suggest that they come and take bathtubs, sinks, and showers away from the American public. They also need to put up giant fences around every body of water, big and small.

The 5th leading cause of accidental death in America is caused by burns and fire. In fact, 3,700 people a year fall victim to this tragedy. It's time for the government to step in and take away all heat producing, as well as flame producing items, and while they are at it, they need to design a planet sized pair of sunglasses with polarized lenses and position them between the Earth and the sun in geosynchronous orbit.

It's time to get serious about this people...

Top ten most common causes of accidental death




posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:04 AM
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I'm starting to think it may be time to take the right to post "_____ should be taken away from the American Public" threads away from the American Public.



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:09 AM
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reply to post by micmerci
 


It has been taken away in Arizona.



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:14 AM
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reply to post by OptimusSubprime
 


Okay you are being sarcastic right?

Maybe if the american parents watched their american children we wouldn't have so many 'accidents' in america.



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:20 AM
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How can you all miss the satire here? it's almost more funny than the OP itself!



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:21 AM
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reply to post by Mkoll
 


Didn't miss it, just contributing to it.



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:24 AM
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What is it with a you hippie lefty water haters!!!!!!!!!

If I wanna put a pool on my property and go for a swim i will and Ill be damned if you or anyone else can stop me


Remember its not water that kills people its idiots who cant swim.
Stop trying to control my life



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:35 AM
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I feel i get more and more stupid by reading threads in here.

Lately with these kind of threads, written with no brain functions at all


Keep up the #ty work ATS



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:38 AM
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Originally posted by Mianeye
I feel i get more and more stupid by reading threads in here.

Lately with these kind of threads, written with no brain functions at all


Keep up the #ty work ATS


Maybe we should start a thread called "Time to take brains away from the American public, There not using them anyways"



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:40 AM
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reply to post by OptimusSubprime
 


LOL! Nicely done
While we're at it, it has been shown that 100% of people who have died have at some point in their lives breathed air. 100%!!!!! Ergo, it is now believed that breathing air is a contributing factor in all reported deaths. Please people, for the sake of humanity quit breathing right away!!! The life you save may be your own!



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:48 AM
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Originally posted by IkNOwSTuff

Originally posted by Mianeye
I feel i get more and more stupid by reading threads in here.

Lately with these kind of threads, written with no brain functions at all


Keep up the #ty work ATS


Maybe we should start a thread called "Time to take brains away from the American public, There not using them anyways"


Wait a Minute.... according to another thread recently posted....you are a disinfo agent...because you used poor grammar or spelling. (BTW - it is "their", not "there")


Before anyone jumps on it- my correction was part of the satire as well. It's "they're". This is fun

edit on 6-4-2012 by micmerci because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:48 AM
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reply to post by IkNOwSTuff
 





Maybe we should start a thread called "Time to take brains away from the American public, There not using them anyways"


You're right.
They're not using their brains.



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:52 AM
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reply to post by cavalryscout
 


There, there...if they're not going to use their brains then there is no reason to point out their error.



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:55 AM
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Ummmm...........

Yeah I meant to do that



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 10:59 AM
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Seriously?

*rolls eyes*

talk about parroting...



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 11:00 AM
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Originally posted by Mianeye
I feel i get more and more stupid by reading threads in here.

Lately with these kind of threads, written with no brain functions at all


Keep up the #ty work ATS


wish i could give this one 50 stars

the quality of this site is falling fast.



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 11:02 AM
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reply to post by IkNOwSTuff
 


:lol
kay

we believe ewe.



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 11:02 AM
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reply to post by aching_knuckles
 


seriously?

*rolls eyes*

talk about missing the point



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 11:05 AM
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Originally posted by micmerci
reply to post by aching_knuckles
 


seriously?

*rolls eyes*

talk about missing the point


i didnt miss the point. i understand the attempt at absurdity. but its stupid. and poorly written...a hack job at remaking the jean paul zodeaux thread.



posted on Apr, 6 2012 @ 11:11 AM
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reply to post by aching_knuckles
 


Other than a missed capitalization in the second sentence it seemed pretty well written. Hack job? Well, that is open to interpretation but I can confirm that OP probably is not a disinfo agent.



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