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How To Troll On ATS- An Expert' Perspective

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posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 03:34 PM
How To Troll On ATS- An Expert’s Perspective
Trolling is an art form. A disgraced art form, but one nonetheless (like Puns). Trolling requires smartness, levelheadedness and quick thinking. Most people think UFOlogists are fools but I beg to defer. A lot of them are quite knowledgeable. They are more difficult to troll than an average Redneck (but easier than an average Redneck with a Shotgun) and they can, when helping each other, tear your post apart. So let me, Satan, who has lied, trolled and deceived many into performing bad deeds (‘allegedly’, as my lawyer would say), let me help you.
1) Know your opponent:- Go read Sun Tzu’s or Chanakya’s book. It will help you when you start to reply.
2) Don’t underestimate:- EVER. You may think your opponent is a Fat dude, but he isn’t. He is a Smart Fat dude.
3) Research Goddamit :- How freaking many post I have seen that have 0 or bad research. Pisses me off. If you start a thread without thinking, you can just kill yourself.
4) Stay Vague:- If you can, you can keep ‘em reading without giving ‘em anything.
5) Realistic Overload:- Another technique, a better one than 4, is to give them a lot of information, but be realistic.
“The plane looked like an b-2 bomber but was smaller and had 2 more engines than the b-2” is better than “The plane was pretty big, like a jumbo jet” is better than “Oh! MY GOD U guys!!! totally saw A UFO!! I’m so kewl!!”
6) Be respectful:- Act like you care for what they say and reply nicely. So,
“Actually, … ” is better than “No. It is… ” is better than “FUUUUUU!!!!!!”
7) Use proper excuses:- “The picture is blurry because the guy is not a professional”, “It’s a 2mp phone camera” etc.
Be careful out there. And always remember to troll responsibly.

Before you reply, this is merely for your entertainment. (and not related to the Alonzo thread.)
MODS, please delete the Post if it is deemed insulting.
edit on 14-2-2012 by DoctorSatan because: MODS, please delete the Post if it is deemed insulting. Thank You

posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 03:40 PM
I'm sure there are far more tips then that to troll on ATS lol

But you don't really need that much training , example the al-bozo thread . to see how many gullable ats members there are. Not all of course but many.

star and flagging fairy tales , lol .

But hey most people arent really here to deny ignorance just hear cool stories right

posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 03:40 PM
reply to post by DoctorSatan

hah, pretty funny. and pretty accurate. i can think of quite a few members i'm familiar with who consistently use these tactics.

posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 03:41 PM
Where is your proof for what you say

posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 03:43 PM
Photo or it didn't happen..! - Section 4 ATS

edit on 14-2-2012 by cerebralassassins because: (no reason given)

posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 03:43 PM
It's "beg to differ" not defer

Do I win a troll point?

posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 03:45 PM

Originally posted by DoctorSatan
Trolling requires smartness

but I beg to defer.

Almost had me there.

Let me ask, in what way do you mean this refers to the Alonzo Typer thing (or doesn't refer to it?)

Was that thread deemed to be a hoax or something?

posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 03:59 PM
If you want to know how to troll...just go to the 9/11 forum. Ask g.o.d., Hooper, the Gen, alfie or whatever handle he is going by these days. One guy single handedly destroyed an entire section of this that's how you troll!

posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 04:11 PM
They see me trollin, they hatin

That's why they think my post is better than theirs

(to the tune of Ridin Dirty)

posted on Feb, 14 2012 @ 04:33 PM
It could always be worse I guess. At least here it's only virtual.

ETA Very well-written and funny list op, thanks for posting.

edit on 14/2/12 by LightSpeedDriver because: ETA

posted on Feb, 15 2012 @ 10:56 PM
Have you such a low opinion of yourself that you must build yourself up at another's expense? I suppose persons incapable of an original idea must need some sort of gratification even if it is self imposed? Isn't there a term for self gratification?

I guess there is some sort of perverse solace in the thought "At least I ain't as stewpid az that Dumas. Shucks he beliefs in ew Ef oh's

Good for you trolls. Now why don't you go back to Disney jr so you can call yourself a scientist.

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