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The convict [TJWC]

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posted on Feb, 5 2012 @ 10:07 PM
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I met him in a bar.He was sitting alone in a corner,looking lost and depressed.His beer was untouched and his eyes were travelling light years away.
I was with friends ,as usual,but from the moment i saw him,it was like i was alone.No matter the chat,the loud music,the laughter,everything seemed so distant,like i was inside a bubble.Just me and him.For a moment i thought i was falling in love.
And then the song started and like magic,when he heard the words,he came out of the trance and started looking around,like he was afraid that everyone knew his deepest secret.

"Two thousand years they stand behind us
Are we just travellers in time
We face the phantoms of our future
They face destruction of their kind"

Saxon were singing "are we just travellers in time" and my only thought was:"cool he likes heavy metal".And with that thought i sent him a whiskey shot.I went to him.Now before you think anything,i'm not that kind of girl.Never make the first move.But this time something was telling me to go to him.Talk to him.
"Nice song ehh?"
"Not bad."
"First time here?I'm a regular and i don't remember seeing you around before."
"I don't belong here"
"You mean you don't like the place?The music?"
"No i mean here"
"Okay...so where do you belong?"
"Nowhere"

Great.For once more,i'm attracted to the weirdo.But then he started talking.
"You wanna hear a story?You wanna know why i don't belong anywhere?Why you should stay away from me?"

This was getting more weird,than usual,so i decided to leave him alone.As i turned to leave,he grabbed me by the hand and whispered:this song is about me.
That got my attention.
"What do you mean?" i asked.
And then he started talking.Like he opened a box and noone in the world could close it.

"I was born on June 16,2365.Humanity has survived many wars and natural distasters.Our society,is not what you call a free one.To ensure that there will be no more wars and crime,the goverment developed a technic,to avoid anything criminal.They tell you what to think,when to think it,who to love and what to like.Any form of art is illegal,because art can create passions and feelings.To make sure that everyone follows the rules,every night,before we go to sleep,we are scanned,by a device we all have in our houses,that can literally read our thoughts.

I failed that scan one day.I dreamt the previous night,that i was having an affair with a woman i know.She is married.The entire day i was thinking about her and how would it be possible for me to approach her.
20 minutes after the scan,the police arrived.They took me to the jail,because such thoughts could trigger a number of different violent crimes.Next day the trial and the verdict.GUILTY.

In 2405 there are no prisons.Those who commit a violent crime,they die.Those with illegal thoughts they are banished.My punishment was no different.The doctors installed inside my heart the CPTM.That is a tiny piece of machinery,that every time my heart beats faster,due to adrenaline rise,it sents me to a different time and space in the past or future.When or where it will take you is random.The faster the heart beats,the further it takes you from your time.
After i recovered from the procedure,they gave me an adrenaline shot and my first stop was the moment of my birth.I saw my mother in the clinic,giving birth to me,while due to a genetic defect lost hers.the scene was too strong and my adrenaline hit the roof,so i relocated again.This time i was in a jungle.The air smelled different and then i heard a huge noise coming my way.I turned around and i saw it.The buggest creature ever walked on earth.A dinosaur.I started running and the next thing i know i was in a desert.I heard voices from the distance and i went to see what was going on.Right there in front of me thousand of slaves were building the great pyramid.Although i was in awe,i was cool and i stayed there for a few days,until one of the guards found me and in my attempt to escape i triggered CPTM.

For the past five years i travel back and forth in time.I have witnessed major events in human history,but usually i prefer to go somewhere insignificant,quiet.But even there i can't make contact with people.Happiness,sorrow or a strong feeling will send me somewhere else.
I was sentenced to time travel for 15 years,after that the CPTM will go dormant and i will stay to that year for the remaining of my life.I just hope that i will not end up with the dinosaurs again.

You don't believe me.Right?Well i wouldn't believe it myself.But if i kiss you right now,i will disappear before your eyes."

I didn't know what to say.The guy was either crazy or ,if this was real,the lonliest man in the world.Every logical person in my position would get away from him instead i asked him.

"Can you take someone else with you?I mean the moment that the CPTM is starting to transfer you if i grab myself on you will i come with you?"

"I don't know."

"I know it sounds crazy,but i want to come with you."And with that i grabbed him and i kissed him like i have never kissed anyone before.

The first feeling i got was like i was elecrecuted.I tried to get away,but he was holding me tight.Everything around us became blurry and then nothing.Next thing i saw was the sun and him over me trying to revive me.I passed out.My head and my entire body was in pain.

"Don't worry,you'll get used to it.First time always sucks"

For the last two years we travel together.I saw things that i wouldn't even dream about.From ancient civilazations,lost and forgotten,to the last moments of earth,before the sun go supernova.Everything is so amazing,but i look forward to the end of his punishment.In 8 years we will be able to settle down and do the thing we both dream about,since the beginning of our journey together.

Make love.




posted on Feb, 5 2012 @ 10:37 PM
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WOW, WOW, words JELLO PUDDING!!!!!! elephants!!! *slaps brain* WOWWWWWWWW!


dude you MADE THIS?


Good job!!! this is AMAZING.

this should be a MOVIE.

go copyright it RIGHT NOW, and find someone to make this film for you.

you will be RICH and FAMOUS.


GO NOW.

edit: HURRY BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
edit on 5-2-2012 by SoymilkAlaska because: (no reason given)



edit2: let me ask you something, what if they couldn't wait that long?

what if they said thats enough lets do "it" NOW!

and they did "it" while time was changing around them like crazy, just lalalaing through the whole universe?
edit on 5-2-2012 by SoymilkAlaska because: because YES



posted on Feb, 5 2012 @ 10:45 PM
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reply to post by Phantom traveller
 


That was good,very good...I almost don't want to submit mine



posted on Feb, 6 2012 @ 03:20 AM
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i can't believe that nobody else has posted here! why isn't this getting more attention!

Op you did a great job and i love this story!


i love it so much because regardless of how bad the government gets in your story, they kick someone out but give them a chance to be free and happy!

if they fight hard enough, they have the ability to change the world, and change their future before it gets that bad, and the government in your story knows it, but for some reason they don't care!!

wow!

i would have preferred if it was a wrist watch type of thing and not a heart implant...!

great story op!!!!!!



posted on Feb, 6 2012 @ 07:07 AM
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reply to post by SoymilkAlaska
 


Thank you very much for your kind words.I'm glad you liked it.
Time travel is one of my favourite themes.It took me days to come up with an idea that would be at least a little bit original.


Originally posted by saroncan
reply to post by Phantom traveller
 


That was good,very good...I almost don't want to submit mine


Thank you,but i want to read your story,so hurry up and post it



posted on Feb, 6 2012 @ 06:10 PM
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I liked the idea of it but the premise is a little hard to swallow. Sending your undesirables through time is a bit of a stretch even for science fiction. However, it was not a bad piece of work.

S&F.



posted on Feb, 7 2012 @ 03:26 AM
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reply to post by boncho
 


I know,i know...but in science fiction they have done everything else to the "undesirables",so i thought of a new punishment.

Thank you for taking the time to read it.



posted on Feb, 7 2012 @ 04:01 AM
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Originally posted by Phantom traveller
reply to post by boncho
 


I know,i know...but in science fiction they have done everything else to the "undesirables",so i thought of a new punishment.

Thank you for taking the time to read it.


my edit from before


what do you think of this idea? o_o

edit2: let me ask you something, what if they couldn't wait that long?

what if they said thats enough lets do "it" NOW!

and they did "it" while time was changing around them like crazy, just lalalaing through the whole universe?



posted on Feb, 7 2012 @ 04:03 AM
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Originally posted by Phantom traveller
reply to post by boncho
 


I know,i know...but in science fiction they have done everything else to the "undesirables",so i thought of a new punishment.

Thank you for taking the time to read it.


What about if they sent the person to an alternate dimension? I don't know if that's been done before, and it would solve the issue.

There is about a million takes you could do on that as well.



Sidenote, I have the same problem with my own stuff. It's almost impossible to come up with something new, or at least comes off as original. We are fighting with a few million written works here...



posted on Feb, 7 2012 @ 05:17 AM
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Originally posted by boncho

Originally posted by Phantom traveller
reply to post by boncho
 


I know,i know...but in science fiction they have done everything else to the "undesirables",so i thought of a new punishment.

Thank you for taking the time to read it.


What about if they sent the person to an alternate dimension? I don't know if that's been done before, and it would solve the issue.

There is about a million takes you could do on that as well.



Sidenote, I have the same problem with my own stuff. It's almost impossible to come up with something new, or at least comes off as original. We are fighting with a few million written works here...


Alternate dimensions/timelines work as well.
Originality is very rare in our time.Add to the novels and short stories,the movies and the tv shows...One way or the other,they cover almost every subject.

About 10 years ago i was thinking of a story.It was an alien invasion story,but my twist would be that the aliens would use cell phones to turn humans into some kind of zombie-slaves.I was writing it in slow motion and before i even manage to end it,Stephen King published "the cell",which the main idea was the same.
I didn't have any plans to publish(i never do),but if i ever gave it to anyone to read it,first thing that would come in mind would be that i stole the idea from King.So i just threw it away.
At that moment i decided that i will never write again.If it wasn't for the ATS contests,i wouldn't have started again.



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 09:46 AM
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Pretty cool story. I gave you a S&F, if you're interested in reading a slightly unorthodox form of time travel try my story. Its not technology based as like yourself I realized the genre has been inundated, so i went for a more esoteric approach with touches of quantum mechanics.

Time and Again [TJWC]

Just a questions in regards to the government sending people of certain 'free willed' mindsets back in time. Wouldnt they be concerned about people changing the past? Or as Boncho suggested would they be operating in an alternate timeline and thus not effect the original one?

Good stuff keep it up.

Oh I almost forgot. The thing about your idea being written by Mr King...have you heard of Dr Micheal Persinger and his experiments with the god helmet? They are to do with electromagnetic waves that cause sympathetic harmonies with the earths electromagnetic field and can also link peoples consciousness. Its all very 'out there' stuff but it goes a small way into explaining how ideas can be shared around the world instantly. Its actually a very interesting scientific experiment if nothing else.

He lectures at the Laurentian University in Ontario

www.laurentian.ca...


edit on 23-2-2012 by TiM3LoRd because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 23 2012 @ 10:41 AM
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reply to post by TiM3LoRd
 


Thank you for your kind words.

I have already read your story and really enjoyed it(I gave you S+F).I should have left a comment,don't know why i didn't.


Wouldnt they be concerned about people changing the past? Or as Boncho suggested would they be operating in an alternate timeline and thus not effect the original one?

Well doing something drastic to change the history(killing a leader or prevent an assasination) would require energy and emotions that would raise the heartbeats and would transfer the person to another time.Now being in a prehistoric era,which the death of a butterfly could change the evolution(like it was suggested in "the sound of thunder" by Ray Bradbury),that i guess is something i didn't think about.
The alternate timeline suggestion is under consideration,because for the first time i think of publishing the story.It will take a few alterations and some corrections,so any comment is more than welcome.

About the god helmet...i will definetely check it out.Sounds very interesting and it reminds me of Plato's cave allegory.




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