Has anyone learned something from someone who recently died?

Hi ATSers

I had an experience a few years ago when my mom died far too early after a battle with ALS. I have held this experience in my mind since then, thinking it was very unusual, but also could not be explained in any way. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to try and find if others have experienced the same thing, but just yesterday I thought, hey why not post it on ATS and see if others have had the same experience.

It’s a small thing, and I feel kind of ashamed admitting it, I was a 35 year old man when she passed on and I can say with confidence that I had never in my 35 years on earth learned how to fold a shirt correctly, yes you can laugh, I know it’s pretty silly. I would fold it in half, then half again and stick it in a drawer, wrinkles be damn! Anyway, she passed away and the next morning as I was putting away my laundry, my mind not really focused on what I was doing, I noticed that for the first time in my life I was folding my shirts the same way the people in stores do it. I remember pausing and looking at them in disbelief thinking, hmmm, I have never in my life done that before, how did I learn to do it? Funny enough I instinctively said to myself thanks mom, and it made me feel a bit better knowing that she had the ability to pass on some kind of instinctive knowledge to me when she passed.

So there’s the question for you all, had anyone experienced anything similar to this before? Being able to do something that you never knew how to do, and never learned how to do before a loved one passed? If so please do share, hopefully there will be other examples more exciting that shirt folding

Best wishes

reply to post by gman1972


Don't have an experience like that but it's cool to know that sometimes things like this happen.

Please read my post here first, and then you will understand that much can come in a single incident. My grandmother had a lot more to do with her freedom than to hang around me for any time at all.

After she died, it was the following year's spring that I demanded a divorce. We took our time about it so it didn't happen until a year later, but it was finally done. She certainly improved my cooking with that "deposit" and I was already a decent cook, but there was a dramatic improvement after that. So many things have been clearer, almost as though I gained her perspective of the world based on earthy, down home values. I remembered more of the advice she gave me even from when I was young. She fertilized my soul and helped me grow.

Her joy at her new-found freedom is still something I look forward to some years down the road. She was exuberant. I have no fear of death whatsoever.

reply to post by CosmicEgg


That's a great story, thanks for sharing. It brings to mind a similar incident many years ago, we had a friendly old neighbour that lived next door when I was a kid. We moved away and never really thought of her much anymore, then one day both my mom and I were talking and I said "I wonder what happened to (as we called her) aunt Lill?" My mom said she was thinkinng the same thing. We both looked at each other and thought, gee, I guess she may have died today. We never found out if she did, but it was quite a coincidence.

Maybe not along the same lines, but I will share anyways...

About 7 years ago my cousin passed away. At the time I had been estranged from my father and wanted nothing to do with him, despite being advised not to make such a harsh decision at such a young age [I was in my teens]. One night about 8 months after my cousin died I had a dream that I was in a room with my entire extended family, and even more family members I had never met before. It was a gathering of sorts, and this giant room had a wall down the middle - I was on one side, my Dad in the mix of people on the other. My dead cousin walked up to me from out of the crowd and urged me to make amends with my father, that what had happened was killing him and he wanted to reach out but wasn't sure how he would be received. I woke up thinking it was a silly dream, though a little shaken at seeing my cousin out of nowhere, but didn't give it another thought until a few weeks later.

A few weeks later I got an invitation in the mail - to a family reunion. It would be the first one of this size in years, they were expecting well over a hundred to attend and they were renting out a lodge to accommodate all the people. I was really excited to go until I found out my Dad would be attending, at which point I weighed the pros and cons, and ended up deciding to go anyway, figuring I could just avoid him as there would be a big group there.

This is what I ended up doing until the end of the night, when my Dad approached me and asked if he could drive me home. I remembered the dream I had months earlier for some reason and I said that it would be fine. The drive was mostly silent until my Dad pulled over and started sobbing - the first time I had ever seen him cry - and apologizing to me for all the things he had done that had gotten us to this point. He said that he had wanted to reach out but was confident he wouldn't be well received, and rather than being filled with hate and anger towards him, I was filled with love and understanding, and absolute compassion for his role in the situation. Since that night we have been building our relationship and I consider him to be one of my best friends.

So I do believe that even those who have passed on can have a hand in many things in our lives while we are still here, whether it is delivering messages to point us in a better direction or teaching us to do things that we had never given a thought to before.

my grandma, saw a gaurdian angel above my shoulder, she actually said it was a light fairy, irony is ive been in three car crashes since she passed and ive not got a scratch, who ever it is he/she dosnt want me to die yet,

i ignored this for years till i had close calls, but she never said anyone else had this light on thier shoulder in my family, she said they were on everyone though but mine was the brightest, and if i learned to aknowladge him my life would be a lot easier,

oh and she made a lot of money and told me that it only brings unhappiness, because you only want more and in the end it couldnt help her much, apart from better hospitality and service they still couldnt cure her, and she said if i work my arse off my whole life to be able to afford an easy life, and holidays and general stuff, i wont be able to buy my youth, and wont ever enjoy it as much, general knowladge really

reply to post by gman1972


my grandfather passed away in october of 2011...his parents were immigrants from Poland..he forged his papers to get into WW2 because he was too young, served his time and came back to live the american dream.

he went on to get a university degree in the field of electrical engineering (huge exciting field in the 60s & 70s) he worked his way up and became owner of a few different companies....he had engineering contracts with Boeing, the military, NASA, and others. he was featured in a few of the "who's who" books because of his reputation in engineering and business.

BUT, even at the end of his (successful) life, he was not happy with the "american dream". he died a millionaire, but still thought that his whole life was not worth all that he did. my grandfather lived the american dream "to a T", yet still found that all america gives in return is superficial materialisms.

~ one of the last things I heard him say, and will NEVER forget it, something to the effect of: "The way this country is going (USA), we're turning into Nazi Germany."

I knew this was true before he said it, but it never meant more to me than when he said it. he has all the credibility in the world and KNOWS what Nazi Germany was like.

Thanks for sharing your stories, very positive indeed.

I find it a very interesting subject, anyone else can feel free to share similar if they wish to if it's along the same lines.

I'm surprised that no one has had the same experience, maybe my experinece was unique. Maybe more comments to come I hope :-)

reply to post by gman1972


Or maybe you're not looking broadly enough. Your experience was a single basic ability at a rather late stage in life. Many of us here have got much more profound info after the passing of our loved ones. Maybe you still have a lot to learn from her but you will need to pay closer attention. You seem to be rather closed in what you accept as valid experience.

reply to post by gman1972


Or maybe you're not looking broadly enough. Your experience was a single basic ability at a rather late stage in life. Many of us here have got much more profound info after the passing of our loved ones. Maybe you still have a lot to learn from her but you will need to pay closer attention. You seem to be rather closed in what you accept as valid experience.

Originally posted by CosmicEgg
reply to post by gman1972

 

Or maybe you're not looking broadly enough. Your experience was a single basic ability at a rather late stage in life. Many of us here have got much more profound info after the passing of our loved ones. Maybe you still have a lot to learn from her but you will need to pay closer attention. You seem to be rather closed in what you accept as valid experience.

Interesting point and one that I will have to think on. I actually am quite a spiritually aware person, but slow to accept my experiences (of which there have been several) as genuine. I have trained with a real Shaman, done sweat lodges, meditated for years, had amazing experiences practicing martial arts, even saw a woodland spirit once with my open eyes as real as a human. These, and the OP are things which I cannot deny, but I see what you are saying, perhaps i'm not listening closely enough to the subtil things.

That remined me that once I was feeling pretty lost and ill at ease for a week or so, I went for a walk along the river and said to the universe something like "if there is something i need to do please have an eagle appear" I swear on my dear departed mother that 2 seconds or less later an eagle flew into the tree directly to my right.

I have lost my path on this a while ago, but your post had given me a bit of a kick. Instead of being stuck in the regular day to day that I have been absorbed in, it's time to start paying attention again!

Thanks for the post, and now I will stop hijacking my own thread lol.

Yes,

I learned that life is too short.

Oh, and that youth is wasted on the young

reply to post by gman1972


And you know what? You just did the same for me. I sometimes feel like I'm shouting at windmills when I talk to people about this stuff. But now and then when a seed germinates and something starts to grow there, it really brings a lot of joy to me. Joy is one of those ghey words that religious people use. I'm not one of those and still it was appropriate there. I just wrote email to someone on the other side of the planet asking for some insight as to why I'm flailing here, why I feel so .. almost hopeless. So much talk of war and justifications for wars on people that they don't understand. So much division, derision, angst and strife. I was so tired of trying to get people to see that it's simply a matter of looking and seeing what's *really* there. It's not what we think it is.

Thank you for giving me a smile again. I needed it. You were an angel for me at that moment. Your message got through. My heart thanks you.

When my pop died I had a dream we were driving along in a truck and he was asking me "Did you know, did you know?". He seemed very insistent like he really needed to know if I knew I had a few possible answers in my head but played aloof saying "know what".I woke up straight away then went back to sleep thinking nothing more of my dream. I was driving to work the next morning and mum rung me up and told me that he passed that night, at roughly the same time I woke up from my dream.
We were very close and I always hoped that what I was thinking when he was asking me the questions was what he needed to know to pass easier.

Originally posted by WhiteDevil013
youth is wasted on the young

Man that's so true! If I knew back then what I know now ... things would be different. If I had the energy and good health of youth NOW .. things would be different. It's all backwards.

My husband's friend died suddenly in his late fourties.
On the evening before the funeral he began a conversation with me in my head.
I was incredulous that it was him and challenged him to prove it.
The conversation continued as I got ready to visit the nearby working mens club, where I knew his widow and sister would be.
When I got there I said to him that if I won at bingo I would put a tenner on his sister's table for a round of drinks.
I won, and kept my side of the bargain.

Another incident -
My father visited me on the night before his funeral. I couldn't see him but sensed where he was standing near the kitchen door. He said he had come to say goodbye, which was 'touching' because he had Altzheimers and didn't know who I was at the time of his death. He lectured me about my smoking habit. His parting words were 'Have a nice day at my funeral. I won't be there as I have better things to do'.