Bullied teen suicide shatters family

Originally posted by aprilc1
Unfortunately there are many of us know what this girl went through-if another adult in the workplace came into your cubicle or whatever and destroyed your personal property, knocked you around, threatened sexual assault you would no doubt that person arrested. Yet some of you are justifying and trivializing this young girls pain. You wouldnt tolerate your neighbor or coworker treating you that way-why should a child have to tolerate it? We need to stop thinking of it as "teasing", "name calling" or even "bullying" call it what it is "Physical Abuse" "Sexual Abuse" "Vandalism" "Assault"

This. A thousand times over. It should be viewed as a crime, which it technically is. Common Law states that is is unlawful if any action harms or causes loss to another human being, no matter the age.

Such a sad situation. My thoughts are with the young woman's family. I can not help but hope that those who tormented may live long, to be long tormented by their own guilt.

This is such a sad thing to read about and my heart really goes out to the family and friends of this girl. I can't imagine what they'd be feeling right now and I wouldn't want to. I agree with the OP that more needs to be done to deal with bullying. It's just really unnacceptable. She had her whole life ahead of her, who knows what she could have accomplished? Poor thing, it makes me feel sad to think that she didn't see any other option than to take her life. I really think more focus needs to be put into teaching kids and teens how valuable and precious they are. They have every right to be on this planet as anyone else does. No one has the right to question why anyone else is here. But the focus seems more on becoming a good worker bee and just going along with the crowd. It's no wonder people feel so low about life if they have to wonder what sets them apart from everyone else and makes them special. How can you feel special if you're brought up to be like everyone else?


reply to post by predator0187

Originally posted by predator0187
I think the fact that people kill themselves over bullying crazy.

Why are we taught to care so much about what others think? Who cares? Generally anyone that goes out of their way to make others lives miserable are miserable themselves. They are the ones trapped in prisons, why people get so offended by words...I don't know.

You make it seem as if it's an entirely logical decision to care about what people think and to get offended. You can't always help how you feel and as human beings, yes we care about what others think about us, it's only natural. How you react and let that affect you is a different matter. It's not always easy to just let things go, especially if you're only young and just starting out. She was only 14, still starting out and learning about herself and the world around her. It's so unfortunate that she didn't know any better coping method/s to be able to deal with what she was going through.

The only thing that can prevent bullying is confidence in children, they need to be sure of themselves and know that they are good people.

I agree with this, kids need confidence to be able to deal with bullying. It won't solve everything, but it would definitely help! It's a matter of self esteem, and knowing that you're worth it and valuable. Kids need to be taught and shown to value themselves and who they are by their parents/guardians. But even if they can't maintain the confidence/self esteem (and it's just training wheels stage anyway) they still need a supportive network to fall back on until they become stronger.

Originally posted by predator0187
reply to post by aprilc1

 

With technology we have been able to keep our weaker members of the species alive longer, which is different than most animals, but it does nothing but dilute our genetic lines. Sounds bad, I know, but in nature our handicapped ones wouldn't last that long.

Weaker in what way though? No one is perfect and we all have the capacity to be weak. Sometimes some people are weaker than others and sometimes the people who were stronger become weaker. Everyone is going to be weaker than somebody else at some point in their lives.

If you're talking about being mentally weak, it doesn't matter how strong you think your mind is. Under the right circumstances, anyone could crack. The reason why is because we're human. No one can deny negative thoughts indefinitely. But you can get through that if you have the right way to deal with things, which this poor girl obviously didn't have and that isn't her fault. Being weak isn't always something you can help, it's just a part of being human. Everyone is weak, just in different ways and at different times.

reply to post by Sparkly_Eyed777


Weaker in anyway. If any animal was weaker they would be pegged off in nature, same would apply for us. Whether we were stronger in youth, we would get taken care of the minute we show any sign of weakness when we age, or when we were born weak.

I understand what she went through was hard, sure, but the fact it pushed her to suicide, it is probably better that happened now than later. Why when crimes are being committed to children they say nothing or do nothing to prevent is beyond me, like others have said, physical abuse and sexual abuse are crimes, but to go kill yourself rather than deal with the problem, I'll never understand.

My daughters are still younger, they are taking kickboxing, I will prepare them if anyone wants to pick fights. But I make sure my girls know they don't have to put up with crap like this. Just walk away and forget about it, the ones doing it have the issues, but in case it goes further, they will have self defense and mace.

Pred...

reply to post by Firefly_


And mayhaps if we had more people stand up to them, we could stop such behavior in many of them before it turns into something more serious in adulthood.

reply to post by predator0187


Its not healthy people who kill themselves over bullying. This was a teenage girl, and the hormone changes, emotions, and risk for suicide is high.

And to anyone who pats themselves on the back, for enduring the same or more abuse, brain chemistry and individual makeup is not an equal opportunity, we're all unique, and so far, in those I know who killed themselves were very sensitive, beautiful, well loved people. I would not cast a single judgement, for its not our to cast.

Bullies on the other hand, to me there are two categories. There is the crowd mentality where immature callous people simple join in. But the true bullies are very abused, and they're not just survivors of abuse, their cores were crushed and they are extremely low self esteem themselves. I've had several in my house, and the worst one broke my heart, his reaction to his parents and their callousness towards him. That was the time he was home with them, for he had been in out and out foster homes, but he just crumpled and cried, and his voice was very frightened, shaky and like a 2 year old. Total separation anxiety and a very damaged youth.

He was the most extreme but the others all exhibited similar traits. Bullies hang out too, not just for status or for one to top dog the other. But also, its kind of a club where they are accepted.

i've been bullied and have bullied, i'm aware some individuals are sensitive, but we need to teach kids from a young age that suicide is not the answer no matter how bad it gets in that moment, it will never be as bad as doing that.
life is worth too much to throw away because someone you won't even remember in 10 years said something to you.

reply to post by predator0187

My daughters are still younger, they are taking kickboxing, I will prepare them if anyone wants to pick fights. But I make sure my girls know they don't have to put up with crap like this. Just walk away and forget about it, the ones doing it have the issues, but in case it goes further, they will have self defense and mace.

Hopefully you will also teach them not to prey on the weak.. and to stand up against those who bully and prey on the weak..

That just as important..if not more important.. for children to learn.

Originally posted by gabby2011
reply to post by predator0187

 

My daughters are still younger, they are taking kickboxing, I will prepare them if anyone wants to pick fights. But I make sure my girls know they don't have to put up with crap like this. Just walk away and forget about it, the ones doing it have the issues, but in case it goes further, they will have self defense and mace.

Hopefully you will also teach them not to prey on the weak.. and to stand up against those who bully and prey on the weak..

That just as important..if not more important.. for children to learn.

Absolutely, that is the most important thing. No matter how weak a person is never take advantage of them. My girls will defend themselves when necessary, when you learn martial arts you are taught not to pick fights, thats part of their training for it.

They will also be taught to help when necessary, that was the only time when I have fought, I am a fairly large guy and have always had an intimidation factor, so I use it when necessary. I don't think anyone shouldbe picked on, but I don't think anyone picked on should kill themselves.

Pred...

Originally posted by predator0187
reply to post by aprilc1

 

Sexual abuse is beyond bullying in my book, that is a criminal activity and should be treated so. As for physical abuse, yea, that's going to happen. It happens in nature with almost any species, and will happen to ours, usually it does not entail life threatening beatings, nor life changing, but that happens in nature as well.

I think us as humans worse thought is that we are not animals, we try and act like we are above them, and someday we might be, but as for now we are a universal time scale away from living in forests mating with chimpanzees.

With technology we have been able to keep our weaker members of the species alive longer, which is different than most animals, but it does nothing but dilute our genetic lines. Sounds bad, I know, but in nature our handicapped ones wouldn't last that long. Look at all of nature for those numbers.

Again, I don't mean to sound cold-hearted, I am just looking at the fact that we are animals.

Pred...

All extreme bullying does is breed a more psychopathic species. Then again could explain why school authority figures are so pro-bullying.

You see bullying isn't anything new. It has existed for a long time as a form of toughening up in order to create warriors etc. That is why a good deal of bullying ends after physical violence against the bullies is brought into the equation.

Originally posted by Ookie

Originally posted by aprilc1
Ive been saying this for years. When a school shooting happens everyone is so quick to say how evil the shooter is and they cover up the fact that for every school shooting 7 more kids at least kill themselves because of bullying. And if they had gone into Columbine in the months before the shootings Id be willing to bet those vicims were not all innocent. Its time we wake up and start teaching our children that being able to throw a football, junp in time to music etc doesnt make you better than anyone else and the rules still apply and that being "pretty" is an accident. Then maybe this crap will stop.

You need to research Columbine a little more. It wasn't bullying. It was jewish supremacists who murdered the Christian Bible club and then killed a few more for added measure. It was a religious hate crime, not a stand against bullies.

As to bullies, I had enough of them in school. It stopped when I started shooting at them. amazing what a few bullets can do to stop the picking. There was a case in Florida last week where a bully got 12 stabs to the chest and the victim got off scott free. A little more of that and the bullies may think twice before picking. Mt only regret is that I missed when I shot at my bullies. Not by much, but I'd really rathered kill them. I still would if I saw them. Bullies need one thing, death.

What are you talking about? Thats not true. They were people that were bullied by a conscious group of people and decided to do something about it.

Originally posted by predator0187
I think the fact that people kill themselves over bullying crazy.

Agreed but I guess we will never really know what drives them to this "crazy" act since we are not in their position. It is really sad that someone thinks that taking their life is their only option. I can only imagine what is going on in their head...Makes me sad.

Why are we taught to care so much about what others think? Who cares? Generally anyone that goes out of their way to make others lives miserable are miserable themselves. They are the ones trapped in prisons, why people get so offended by words...I don't know.

Good question! In today's society I blame tv and magazines and this crazy love affair with Hollywood and celebs. I'm only 33 and I do not remember it being like this when I was a teen. There is so much pressure on teens today with appearance and what kind of cool tech you should have. If you just look at the shows that are there for them to watch it's obvious, well for me it is. You have shows like "Bad Girls Club" that makes these bratty girls into pseudo celebs and all they do is bully people! It's the basis of the show. That is pretty much the same with all "reality" type shows. The more you cause drama aka bully you are popular so it makes sense that teens act this way more than previous years. THey want to seem "cool" and it's sick.

For me I was always raised with the saying "Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." I don't get offended when people say things to hurt me because I know it's just words and nothing more. They are using those words as a weapon and letting it bother you gives them the upper hand. Words can sting and words imo can really hurt someone, if you let it.

I know this sounds really mean, and I really don't intened it to be like that, so try and think about what I'm saying...I think if people are weak minded and are willing to kill themselves over simple name calling, let them go. Darwin invented the term 'natural selection', that's all this is.

It's not mean, it's honesty....it's how you feel whether someone agrees or not you are entitled to that opinion. As for the natural selection thing, I get that but think about when you were a teen and how you felt? Think of all the hormonal changes you go thru. It is tough! I know a few people from HS who tried to commit suicide and they lived and now today have a nice successful career and family. I think these kids just need help!!

I'm not saying children can't be mean, I remember bullying in my schools, and at times it could get bad, but usually people get picked on if they allow themselves to appear weak.

Some people are weak...maybe they weren't raised to stick up for themselves? IDK. I was always raised to stick up for yourself and to not let anyone walk all over you. I also never cared what others thought. Sometimes people need help or some form of counseling, it does help. I think kids need more of that in school esp with how times are today. They need a good guidance counselor to go to. I remember ours in school were great, you could always go to them. They ddin;t make you feel uncomfortable or anything. It was someone you could trust and talk to.

The only thing that can prevent bullying is confidence in children, they need to be sure of themselves and know that they are good people. If not instilled by their parents (and not by just telling them they're pretty/handsome and smart, but actually teaching them to learn for themselves) then the kids are doomed.

I agree 100%!

I feel bad for the parents, but god, get your kid off Facebook, twitter and whatever else kids use, teach them that learning is important and who cares about kids calling you names.

Pred...

Oh I agree here too! If I had a teen there is no way they would be on all these sites and if they were it'd be monitored and they would have restricted access. Kids today need to find a form of entertainment where they learn something valuable not how to be an internet bully!

In case anyone ever encounters a bullying situation here's a little clip that might help the one being bullied. It comes from Freaks & Geeks, one of my favorite tele shows. The bullying in this clip happens right after the credits but the meat of this clip starts at the 4:14 mark.

It's really crappy to see kids kill themselves over stupid crap like this but it happens. All I can say is life does get better after high school.

reply to post by strangedays


um...I dont know what kind of quack research you've been doing, but Columbine were not jewish supremacists, or whatever other bullcrap conspiracies that you are trying to push so you can spread some Jew hatred. They called themselves the Lords of Chaos...they liked firing guns...there were some kids at school that they didn't like, and some teachers, so they planned it out and went nuts at their school. Had ZERO to do with religion. Nothing. At all. You're full of crap,.

reply to post by strangedays


You never shot at anyone...you're so full of it.

reply to post by domasio


Yeah, but she killed herself. Nobody's conduct "caused" her to do that, she did it on her own. So, even if your "common law" theory was true (which it definitively is NOT, but for argument sake I'll assume you're right) the only loss or harm was her harming herself... knowingly, and willfully, and with enough forethought to write about it all over the internet. Nobody could possibly be culpable for anything under your "common law" theory.

Now, I think what you mean is that you think that "common law" means that anything you feel is wrong with the world you get to just start throwing a hissy fit and pointing fingers and making accusations, when in reality, there is probably a lot more to the story than just a suicide and some bullying, but what do you care, you get to sound smart by saying "common law" when in reality, you don't have the slightest clue about how the criminal justice system is designed to operate...but you'll keep on talking this nonsense about "common law," and you'll never even pick up a law book or study any foundations of criminal justice to learn what common law really means, and you'll tell a handfull of other people...many of whom are youre friends and are idiots like you, so they'll believe you and they'll tell the same host of incorrect stories about how the law works...but nobody will ever have a clue what they are talking about, because they are too stupid and lazy to do any research. Sound right?

reply to post by thepeoplesmilitia


haha, yeah, because 7 year olds NEVER used to say 4 letter words....good one...

I saw a guy stood the bus stop a while ago who i thought recognized from school. Big lad he was, bigger than me and i'm not exactly small. I made eye contact with him but he put his head down straight away. This happened a few times.

I smiled at him as he was obviously uncomfortable with the situation, he honestly looked like he was scared i was going to give him a kicking. This big hulk of a guy. Eventually i walked over to him, put out my hand to shake his, and told him who i was and that i was in the year above him at school. He just nodded with his head down and said nothing.

I could see he was uncomfortable, so i said goodbye and left.

When i mentioned it to my ex wife who shared a class with him, she said, "I'm not surprised, there wasn't a day during high school where he wasn't hit or called something."

To see the guy, big as he was, at the age of 40 like that, was nothing short of sad.

CX.