I Know Miracles Exist I Wouldn't be Here if They Didn't and I am Grateful....But Why Me?

reply to post by OmegaLogos


Thank you for your condolences.

I read your post, it's quite interesting.

I do believe there is something after this life and on one hand yes I should be happy because I know that they are both destined for something positive. My pain is due to my loss of them here and now and also that I know that neither my sister or my friend wanted to leave their children behind so young and unprepared to deal with the loss.

I know I myself don't really fear death, but I am not ready to leave my daughter behind, I know she still needs me and the thought of her pain rips my heart out.

reply to post by Pixiefyre

knew there was something beyond here and now because of what my father said minutes before he passed away.

May I ask...what did he say?

reply to post by wildtimes


He told me that he saw his mom and his baby. At that point he had been only had a few sparse moments throughout the day when he was actually "there" the Dr's told us his mind was basically gone at that point...but there were moments and that was one of them. His eyes focused on me and he looked so joyful.

The baby would have been my oldest sister and his first child but she died at birth, it was a loss he always felt deeply and as per his wishes he is buried alongside her now.


I know that might seem far to simplistic to be convincing but while a part of him knew we were all gathered with him, once he got to the stage he was at that final day he was not speaking other than just once to call for me to help him....I was daddy's girl. He didn't verbally or visually acknowledge my mother or my sisters. So that one very clear moment of revelation from him had a strong impact

reply to post by Pixiefyre


Thanks. My dad died, at home, last year on August 2nd. He had family around him, and although my brother and I were breaking traffic laws to get there (having received a phone call from bro's wife that Daddy was unresponsive), we missed the actual moment.

Nevertheless, I was there for him often and regularly during the last few years of his suffering. And earlier in the day that he did pass on, he asked me to bring him the book of National Parks (coffee table book, lots of pics), and of course I did so.

Even earlier that day, I was there, and simply sat on the bed with him and held his hand while I was reading.....I fed him cantalope, I asked him to please let me know where he was in the event that I was not there at his arrival, and to let me know that he was okay.

Anyhoo, I don't want to usurp Ben's story, but I do thank you for posting this. Those of us who are mothers and daughters can find great comfort in these disclosures.

Tearfully,
WT

reply to post by wildtimes


While you weren't there at the exact moment, you were there for him and with him and you must know he felt your love and was comforted by it and happy for it.

I still become teary thinking of my dad

reply to post by Pixiefyre


This might not comfort you, but there is a reason why saints look forward to death. To go to heaven is the greatest thing that can happen to a person. Once you know, not just believe, that God, heaven and hell are real death is not scary anymore. I do not pray for a miracle for myself in this world, only that I can go to heaven as soon as possible. The only miracles I pray for are ones that can open non-believers' eyes.

reply to post by 547000


Oh I do understand that, but as a mother I know I don't that time to come for me until my daughter has matured enough to better handle it. My heart aches for her 2 young daughters and her husband. And I admit I and grieving because I will miss her.

reply to post by Pixiefyre


Everyone has crosses to carry.

It may sound like a cop-out, but I think suffering refines the soul and squashes pride. If I never suffered I would have never turned to God, but I would have enjoyed my life, died, and got sent to hell. Those who suffer and weep have blessings they are not aware of.