Aspergers Syndrome

I need some Help with this.

I know someone who May have this syndrome.
It's a condition, that sometimes mimics a high function version
of Autism.
This person is a relative, and is almost 20 years old.
He is living with me and my wife, but he exhibits nearly all the
criteria, for this disorder..
How do I bring something like this up to him?
He can't find a job, he has NO friends, he stays in his room all the time.
He is socially disfunctional..

If anyone knows someone like this, I'd appreciate a little help, finding a way
to either breach the subject, or have him go to therapy of some sort..

Thanks in advance.

Space

Tough one. Staying in his room all day might be just fine with him, though.

Perhaps let him know that you are worried about him, and ask him why he thinks he might be unable to find a job. Ask if there is anything you can do to help him, then suggest he talk to someone to see if anything can be done to help him.

No one likes to hear "I think you might have Asbergers, it means youre socially inept, and can't keep a job or make friends - just like you!" Not that you'd say that, but you get the point. See if you can find a mental health professional that can tell him for you.

He has to want to seek help on this one. He has to recognize there is a problem.

Talk about your own "shyness" or problems with people and ask him if he's ever felt that way, too. Put the spotlight on yourself, and ask from there.

IT's true.
He isn't bothered about staying in his room all day..
Other really unusual things.
He does NOT like any kind of music.
no loud sounds.
attention problems.
Unusual body postures, when he walks...like he has no self esteem. hanging head..shoulders rounded...

Some of which are just normal peculiarities, but having all of these things..
As well as others makes me think there is a name for his problem..And now maybe we can help him..He's a good kid..

I just now ran across the syndrome today, hearing someone else talking about it.

Cancel his subscription to Everquest, turn OFF the computer.

sounds like a disability to me....

if it were someone close to me i'd try and guide them into SSI so they can get a nice disability check every month and take it easy.....then i'd find a support group for aspergers that could assist us.

i am not bashful about my disdain for certain mental health professionals.

many mental health professionals get off on infantalizing people like your relative, feeling smug and superior because THEY are mentally healthy and their "client" is not. self reliance is important for someone like this relative of yours...

It could be depression. Once you get in a hole its tough to get out.

Originally posted by jrod
It could be depression. Once you get in a hole its tough to get out.

Got to go with jrod on this one. I thought Aspergers was more akin to ADHD. If it's depression just getting him to the doctor will be a chore. Good luck.

He can't find a job, he has NO friends, he stays in his room all the time.
He is socially disfunctional..

*Whispers* Do I know you? *Looks around to see if anyone is listening.*

I have aspergers and depression, and I used to be really socially held back because of which (though, I still do have small problems because of it).

Disorders like so, are much easier to treat and help earlier on in life. I was personally assessed before I was 10 years old. It is a lot harder to manage with these problems, being left undiscovered or not helped early on in life, after falling into habit and what not.

Its a tough one, I dont exactly know what to say..

This person is a relative, and is almost 20 years old.
He is living with me and my wife, but he exhibits nearly all the
criteria, for this disorder..
How do I bring something like this up to him?
He can't find a job, he has NO friends, he stays in his room all the time.
He is socially disfunctional..

If anyone knows someone like this, I'd appreciate a little help, finding a way
to either breach the subject, or have him go to therapy of some sort..

Asperger's Disorder is a Pervasive Developmental Disorder. There MUST be evidence of this disorder beginning in childhood, never remitting, and continuing through adulthood. In order to really qualify for Asperger's, the person needs to show a lifelong inability to engage in nonverbal social behaviors AND engages in very restricted reptitive and stereotyped behavioral patterns (and becoming angry and/or aggressive when someone attempts to disrupt their nonfunctional ritual). However unlike Autism, there are no cognitive or speech delays in early childhood. A person with Asperger's Disorder might engage in certain repetitive motor behaviors like hand-flapping, or may be obsessed with a part of an object (for example, they are fascinated by the edges of boxes, unable to put a cardboard box down without having an emotional outburst). This is a very very serious disorder, it NEVER "pops up" in adulthood.

With all due respect, take him to a licensed clinical psychologist if you have concern for his health and safety. A licensed psychologist will be able to offer you a more accurate diagnosis (and treatment based upon the diagnosis). You can find a psychologist in your area by "googling" the name of your state psychology association. Attempting to convince him that he has a particular disorder may lead to bigger problems which could escalate the severity of the situation. The symptoms you described are shared by many psychological disorders. Remember, help is available no matter what he has or does not have.

MK

EDIT: Many people have had success finding referrals through this particular psychology association website:

www.apahelpcenter.org...

Additionally, here is a list of all US state psychology associations:

www.apa.org...


[edit on 4-9-2004 by MKULTRA]

Originally posted by jrod
It could be depression. Once you get in a hole its tough to get out.

Good chances that this is right on the head seeing that 5 years ago I had the exact same symptoms, exept the music part.

Its not that I couldn't find a job, It was cause I didn't want to have to adjust to something new. In my mind I thought I would fail and was honestly afraid of that thought. If I didn't look for a job, I couldn't fail at it.

Friends, had only a few. I didn't want to meet people in fear that they wouldn't like me.

Depression is a serious mental illness and requires prefessional help ASAP. It took me a long time to realize this and 3 years later I am still having trouble adjusting to the world. Try to get that person help right away,

The reason I am saying this is from personal experience, I have been through it and would go out SIMPLY TO GET DRUNK just so I could talk to new people without the worry of them liking me or not. GET THEM HELP NOW!

Well I believe I have aspergers syndrome, and I can tell you it goes hand in hand with depression. For years I believed the worst about myself. Now I know I have some sort of disorder, and depression is masking it. I thought I was Bi-Polar for so many year, but then I actually googled it, and it turns out my symtoms correspond to Aspergers alot more closely. I havn't sought out treatment yet, because I do not believe "Talking" about it will help(I have had alot of bad experiences with "Councillors" and "Shrinks"). I've tried that and it didn't work. The is no treatment right now(medication wise), as it's not fully understood what triggers it.(ie is it Genetic or does it have to do with the local Environment). I really don't know what to say here because I'm still struggling with it, but I found that just admitting it to yourself helps quite a bit, because when you admit it to yourself, you are admitting that it isn't your fault and that made me feel a hell of alot better.

I must say.

What a great and helpful bunch you all are!
Up til today, I'd never heard of this condition.
Or maybe I did, and didn't make the connection. Not sure.

We seriously considered that it was a form of depression as well.
We turned of his computer. He's able to find other things to keep himself
alone and in his room. He doesn't seem to mind, he prefers being alone.


I've only known him a few years, but my wife says that this is the way he's
always been, socially.

I think he needs to see a professional of some sort, just have to get him there.

I read one article about this from one finnish health magazine about five years ago.
All of symptoms what you described doesn't exactly fit to it.

Does he have narrow/specific interest areas?


And if you mean music from radio and in music channels I wouldn't wonder if someone don't like those.

Take him camping or fishing. Something like that. Just the two of you, no wife. Spend a weekend with the kid away from his damn room. Get to know him better and learn what he may or may not like to do then think about what to do next. This will give you a better idea what's going on in his head. Most likely if you've known the kid a while you'll learn more than a shrink would the first month or two of treatment by doing something like this.

E_T

I really don't want to diaganose it, at this point.
I've used multiple "diagnostic checklists" and he is pretty
close to nailing it.
I was just shocked, that no one had tried before, to see what his problem was.
And yes, he has very narrow, sharp focus..

If he was watching TV, and a PARADE came through the living room.
He'd turn up the TV, but would not know why he did it, if asked 2 hours later.

I just don't want to humiliate him...I don't think he's crazy, he's obviously
got some severe handicaps in the social functioning area.
He's ok with his life, it's the way he's always been allowed to live. It just doesn't work when you reach adulthood..

It definitely sounds like Asperger's. It isn't really a mental illness, it's just the way his brain is wired. There's no cure because it's part of his personality, who he is. There are jobs where his hyper-focus & need to "work alone" would be assets. It might be helpful to do some research & find job areas that might be a good fit for him. I don't think he could ever be a "social butterfly" but he can learn to work with it, and that's where a psychotherapist could come in handy.

I lived down the street when I was young from a boy with aspergers. He was not diagnosed til his teens but looking back there were many things he did that perfectly fit the symptoms.. However, he was very social with at least one or twol and was (still is) extremely intelligent. Peculiar thing though, I remember going over to his house from about ages 5 to 10 and remember him only leaving his room if his toy dinosaur said he could. Anything question really you asked him, he'd say it was up to the dinosaur. Are imaginary friends at a young age a symptom as well because of lack of social interaction or was this something completely different? If I'm wrong sorry in advance for the waste of time...

[edit on 5-9-2004 by Verdis Quo]

I have a mild case of Aspergers, as well as SAD, OCD, and clinical depression... I'm just a walking bundle of psychotic fun.

It shouldn't really affect his life too much, in the long run. He may have trouble dealing with emotions, or find himself unwittingly introduced to the wonderful world of the psychic (Aspergers tends to go hand in hand with empathic talent).

Good luck to him... if you think he needs therapy, try raising the subject of his condition tactfully (so how have you been feeling lately? I heard you weren't doing too hot), and suggesting that he talk to a professional so that he could learn to better understand and cope with his condition. I know a lot of people are unnecessarily adverse to seeking clinical mental help, due to some societal stigma it carries, but you should try your best to make him understand that he really will not improve without professional help.

Originally posted by spacedoubt


I need some Help with this.

I know someone who May have this syndrome.
It's a condition, that sometimes mimics a high function version
of Autism.
This person is a relative, and is almost 20 years old.
He is living with me and my wife, but he exhibits nearly all the
criteria, for this disorder..
How do I bring something like this up to him?
He can't find a job, he has NO friends, he stays in his room all the time.
He is socially disfunctional..

If anyone knows someone like this, I'd appreciate a little help, finding a way
to either breach the subject, or have him go to therapy of some sort..

Thanks in advance.

Space

You mention numerous "facts" about this boy but could you explain the following details for me?

1) He is 20 and living with your wife and you - How long has he been living with you? And what were the reasons for him coming to live with you?
2) He doesn't have a job/can't get a job? What education does he have? And has he applied for jobs?
3) As for friends - we would have to establish where he grew up and why he is living with you now?
4) What do you consider makes him socially dysfunctional? Does he do things that are socially inappropriate or does he just avoid social situations?

It is rather important to understand the surrounding facts before ascribing am epithet to it.I am a therapist and have had minimal experience with Aspergers, although the patient concerned had severe OCD and Asperbergers which is frightening combination.



[edit on 5-9-2004 by Mynaeris]