posted on Nov, 14 2011 @ 01:52 AM
I finally did it. I cut myself until I bled to death. I watched coldly as the blood drizzled down my leg and then observed my own body from outside
of myself. From that day forward, I was a Ghost.
There was no shame with my scars. I wore them proudly like a tattoo. Every scar had meaning; every scar released some pain trapped within my being
and I could go on living each day. Each day I would feel pain and everyday I would cut it away.
I could not get the pain out this time. One cut or the cut was not enough. The deepest cut did not take away the pain and I watched the blood
seeping out onto the floor.
In a separated state I observed but could not feel. I wanted the feeling to go away but I did not know what the feeling was. I just say, 'oh that is
pain' but a small emotion began to rise up through my stomach. It was hated... I am pretty sure that is what it was. I was desperate to free myself
but the cutting did not make it go away. The final cut left me trapped.
And that is how I remained. An angry Ghost visiting the iniquity of the people I had in my life. This was most pleasing, especially when they saw
how damaged I was. Their guilt thrilled me. I took pleasure in their guilt and my hatred was unrestrained.
I broke everyone of them down...stripped them bare and watched them crumble. I hated them for destroying me and revenge caused me to remain as a
Ghost. I wanted them all to suffer for what they had done. I killed myself because of the things that they had done. I killed myself because
telling them how I felt did not cut it. Crying and yelling did not achieve this. As a Ghost, I could communicate in such a way that I was not able
to when I was alive.
Now that I am a Ghost, I do not hate myself, instead I hate all that have hurt me. There is no reconciliation. There is nothing that they can
do to redeem themselves.
They say that the truth sets you free? Perhaps if they were truthful,
we would all be free?
Until that day, I will remain a Ghost just to remind them of their lies and met out to them all the hatred they inflicted upon me.
edit on 14-11-2011 by Thurisaz because: spacing
edit on 14-11-2011 by Thurisaz because: spelling