[F & R] Cutting Myself

I finally did it. I cut myself until I bled to death. I watched coldly as the blood drizzled down my leg and then observed my own body from outside of myself. From that day forward, I was a Ghost.

There was no shame with my scars. I wore them proudly like a tattoo. Every scar had meaning; every scar released some pain trapped within my being and I could go on living each day. Each day I would feel pain and everyday I would cut it away.

I could not get the pain out this time. One cut or the cut was not enough. The deepest cut did not take away the pain and I watched the blood seeping out onto the floor.

In a separated state I observed but could not feel. I wanted the feeling to go away but I did not know what the feeling was. I just say, 'oh that is pain' but a small emotion began to rise up through my stomach. It was hated... I am pretty sure that is what it was. I was desperate to free myself but the cutting did not make it go away. The final cut left me trapped.

And that is how I remained. An angry Ghost visiting the iniquity of the people I had in my life. This was most pleasing, especially when they saw how damaged I was. Their guilt thrilled me. I took pleasure in their guilt and my hatred was unrestrained.

I broke everyone of them down...stripped them bare and watched them crumble. I hated them for destroying me and revenge caused me to remain as a Ghost. I wanted them all to suffer for what they had done. I killed myself because of the things that they had done. I killed myself because telling them how I felt did not cut it. Crying and yelling did not achieve this. As a Ghost, I could communicate in such a way that I was not able to when I was alive.

Now that I am a Ghost, I do not hate myself, instead I hate all that have hurt me. There is no reconciliation. There is nothing that they can do to redeem themselves.

They say that the truth sets you free? Perhaps if they were truthful, we would all be free?
Until that day, I will remain a Ghost just to remind them of their lies and met out to them all the hatred they inflicted upon me.

reply to post by Thurisaz


Is this about you?

Are you allright?

reply to post by CaptainInstaban


oh sweetie I am fine... it is a short story competition about Forgiveness and Reconciliation.

xx

reply to post by Thurisaz


Well, then you did well, I can feel the pain by reading it.

I wasn´t sure if it was a cry for help, or just a story.

Glad you´re fine.



eidt, Ah, so that´s what the Fand R stands for, I was already wondering yesterday when I saw it in a few titles.

Originally posted by CaptainInstaban
reply to post by Thurisaz

 

eidt, Ah, so that´s what the Fand R stands for, I was already wondering yesterday when I saw it in a few titles

yep. I put the F & R there so that means it is a story. I am sorry you thought it was legit.

good on you for caring even though it was a story.

xxx

Very good post, it is very believable.

reply to post by wlasikiewicz


thank you.

A lot of people self harm. It is misdirected anger. I have experienced my own healing and I have met a lot of people along the way who struggle to reconcile the hurt others have done to them.

It is a cycle of abuse. I am fortunate to understand the cycle and have broken free of it, but there are many who don't.

Good read, Thurisaz. Got a Flag from me. I'm actually flagging all the good entries in the [F&R] contest, and surprisingly enough, I've had to flag them all so far. Makes the competition a bit tougher, eh?

Curiously, as well, your UN is also the name of a RUNE. Hmm....makes me wonder.

Originally posted by Druid42
Good read, Thurisaz. Got a Flag from me. I'm actually flagging all the good entries in the [F&R] contest, and surprisingly enough, I've had to flag them all so far. Makes the competition a bit tougher, eh?

Curiously, as well, your UN is also the name of a RUNE. Hmm....makes me wonder.

thx for your feedback. I haven't yet read any other entries. I don 't usually do that until after I have put my entry in so I will start reading the others today.

oh and your signature link got me... hahah I had to click on it and have a read

and yes, Thurisaz is one of the Runes.