Originally posted by celticdog
reply to post by ottobot
I have learned to get rid of past pain is to confront it personally or mentally so you can let it go. Having no contact with your parents has and will
cause you pain. Your parents are hurting too. This first pain caused the rest so go back to source to heal.
No, actually, having no contact with my parents is immensely freeing and calming to me.
You see, my "father" emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me until I moved away. He is the reason I have always felt like I was not worthy
My "mother" emotionally, and mentally abandoned myself and my siblings long ago. And, recently physically abandoned my youngest siblings (minors),
who now live with my "father" while she goes gallivanting around "doing her own thing".
They are not hurting. They are both quite selfish. My "father" only cares that I don't talk to him because he has no control over the matter, and
he must have control of other people because he cannot control himself. However, I refuse to allow a person with no self-control free access to my
innocent children. So, not going to happen.
My "mother" hates that I tell her all the things she is doing which are ridiculous. Thus, she avoids talking to me.
I'm not particularly torn up about it. I have made a life for myself away from those people. In reality, they are relatives by DNA, and that's about
Apologize to them ,apologize to yourself..It is tough to speak your mind when you have never done it.
Indeed, I have definitely spoke my mind to both of them. It is over and done with,
I use to be just quiet and walk away from confrontation. My Dad is a talker/controller but not really a listener.He means well but if I keep letting
him do it to me it makes me feel bad.So I have put the boundary up which upsets him.I have done it several times and he is starting to listen just a
little bit.It is having your own personal boundaries is the way.
I can understand that. That's good that you have been able to set up boundaries that you are able to enforce. My boundary is, "GTF away from me."
with my "father". I recently went on a trip to visit my siblings and he decided to show up since I had specifically left him uninvited. He didn't
care about anything other than trying to get me to apologize to him for shutting him out ten years ago, and started in on how he was justified in his
"discipline" and so on. He started in using the same language and manipulation he used to use to control my emotions. The difference is that I am an
adult who understands that he cannot control me. I left.
Here's a tip project the colour pink around the person you are having a problem with and push your energy towards them and say stop in your head.
You cant let their energy take over yours then you become weak and feel drained after being around them.
That is an interesting idea. I will
try it sometime.
Have you given thought that maybe you might be empathic. You take on feelings of others but think they are your own. It makes you over whelmed with
loads of feelings.I didnt know I did this for years now I have learned to put a shell around me to block those feelings from others which in turn you
get to your true feelings.
Yes, I am empathic, I have always known this. The problem I have is that I shield all of my own emotions, because if I actually let them surface,
there is always someone there to attempt to manipulate them. Basically, I have recently been learning to completely ignore attempts at manipulation
and just go ahead with what I have to do or say. Like I said, I don't understand this situation. It is so ridiculous and absurd; I don't see the
Number one chakra to start with is the root chakra to ground yourself other wise you are like a balloon,floating about with all kinds of
feelings then work on the others.....................Take care and here to help
Yes, I have been grounding myself. I have been learning to
stand my ground in all things. I have always been very disciplined and stuff, but I would just let other people get their way because I had no strong
opinions about anything. Now, I realize that I should do what I need to do to Live (as opposed to Survive). So, this is my current path - learning to
Live within my life.