I wanna go back to sleep!!!!

Sometimes....

I wish I wouldn't be so curious...
I wish I wouldn't be intelligent enough to see and think by myself...
I wish I could be happy and ignorant like so many others I cross everyday in the street...
I wish I turn back the hands of time and unlearn everything I know...

Then I look at myself in the mirror and I realize that every single one of us is a splinter in the foot of tyranny that's slowing it down just enough to still have hope...

YES! They will stop some of us...they will quiet down some others... they'll even make a couple disappear... but they can't stop all of us...

Simply because.... WE BELIEVE... and that's something you can't take away from us...

And one day when the sons of your sons will be talking about the people that held their ground back two, tree generations in the past, they'll never know who you were... they'll never know how you felt today and how you might feel tomorrow... you'll just be another nameless warrior like so many others...

But that very day they will be enjoying free of fear and slavery talking about those that dared take a stand against big brother and how it changed the world it will be because you, me and all of us...

We're not soldiers... soldiers obey orders... we're warriors we obey justice, truth and righteousness keep that flame burning man don't let it be put out by all that you see, hear and learn... instead use it to fuel you to keep going one step further... we're all that we have...

I was just saying something along these lines, but it isn't that I want to go back, it is the realization that I am now completely "unfit" to ever go back!

I am "unfit" to talk to the sleeping masses, that I should never go back into public again for fear I will laugh at the next person with "coupons" or the next person complaining about some needlessness in our world!

Put a muzzle on me when I am in public please!

Well you could go outside while their chemtrailing and take a deep breath in or you could put your head right next to an hdtv converter

all joking aside meditate on it and try to accept if you cant do that try and make a change we all have that power

I do too, it would be nice to sit one day with a glass of ice cold tea writing a poem and watching a movie. Relaxing and pretending like the world doesn't exist. No wonder I'm slowly losing it, I run to doom websites and read doomy comments and freak out. Panic and anxiety attacks seem to follow, fear of death, stomach cramps and headaches. And I stopped taking medicine like Tylenol etc because I'm scared of the fluoride in the pills, gubmit poisoning me. Things like that. I wish I could go back to that blissful sleep, not afraid of dying at the age of 14(15 in July) and things like that. Being afraid of police and authority figures, but I am.

Oh well, I'm at the Don't-give-an-f#ck-point. I am so tired, emotionally and physically. I can't remember when I had a good night's sleep. I need-want-can't go back to sleep, I am stuck in an emotional rollercoaster and the ride won't stop.

Mostly I get nauseous thinking about the possibilities of things. If I had any friends, they would have left "Dale Gribble" me over here. Alone. Why can't I fall back into blissful sleep ?

reply to post by Greensage


Hey! I use coupons! And get lots of free stuff that will be nice to have when tshtf! I do not want to be with out deoderant

Heading for blissful sleep now, with (hopefully) awesome dreams, lol

Originally posted by showintail
reply to post by Greensage

 

Hey! I use coupons! And get lots of free stuff that will be nice to have when tshtf! I do not want to be with out deoderant

Heading for blissful sleep now, with (hopefully) awesome dreams, lol

You use deodorant, I hope it doesn't have Aluminum in it!

I stopped several years ago!

Originally posted by Greensage

Originally posted by showintail
reply to post by Greensage

 

Hey! I use coupons! And get lots of free stuff that will be nice to have when tshtf! I do not want to be with out deoderant

Heading for blissful sleep now, with (hopefully) awesome dreams, lol

You use deodorant, I hope it doesn't have Aluminum in it!

I stopped several years ago!

lol... not to be paranoid but if shtf I'd be careful what type of deodorant I'd use... not useful when your trying to hide and you smell axe's phoenix or old's spice its a smell that stand out of the usual.. especially in the bush or whatever lol... can't ambush someone or hide from a group of potential thief/murders if they can smell you 20 meters away lol

reply to post by chooselove


These sound like the almost exact reasons ive been praying to God for ... for a little isolated house or farmhouse in the country .. where i can be back with nature ... for the reasons you mention .. and for soooo many more reasons too .. too many to list here .. which is probably similar to the list of reasons others in this thread share ..

I want to get away from it all ... i hate the machine / system .. i hate feeling i have no choice but to be part of it .. Just because of the part of the world i happen to be born in, i am also born into this machine and lose my freedom at birth by default ...

I also see working 37.5 hours per week, for a pittance wage that is less than i need to make any material progress in life, and barely sustains me ... working 5 days a week ... over 1/2 of my waking life ... leaves me less than half of my waking life, to live, and attend to my personal needs ... It feels sooo un-natural .. i do all that work, to let a company exploit me and make SOOO much money from my labour .. while i go home with barely enough money to keep myself out of the red .. un-natural and disgusting ....

I refused to work for over 2 years now .. and for a few years prior to that, i only took well paying jobs that didnt make me feel like a slave ... and could work less than 6 months in a year, and take the rest of time off ... because i hate working . i am feeding a machine that i despise ...

So i stopped working .. and asked God to help look out for me .. which i think he has .. as in the past years .. i have never yet run out of money .. but have been sooo stress free and happy .. My friends have mean while been out working hard ... some too hard ... and worry about money, debts ...

I need to find an isolated place out of the way of all this madness ... where i can be ignorant to it .. and just be concerned with what part of the countryside i will visit today ... and what of Gods animals i will see and photograph ...

And a little patch of land .. so i can grow my own veggies and herbs ...

That would be a little heaven on earth for me ...


Although our reasons may differ slightly ... I am glad to see in ATS that others do feel similar to me ..

we're natural beings living as part of an un-natural machine ,, which we feel we are dependant on ...
I am lucky as i had no partner or children .. no ties .. else i would never have did what i did .... I would still be a working in a job i loathe today ..

reply to post by chooselove


Read what you write and it will slap you in the face.

I this, I that, I want, I, I.....

Selfishness is the problem.

Screw the stuff we know, or are allowed to know...the first couple of yards of the rabbit hole. What's at the bottom we still can't see but can sort of guess at, that's what gets me and makes me want to go back to sleep. For example the fact that all the bloodlines of world leaders can be traced all the way back to King Solomon. What that implies about the world we live in, or better about what we think we know the world to be is still so far from the truth, it's not even conceivable.

op i feel your pain

about 3 months ago I stopped reading ats and had had enough of the rabbit whole I was in. As mind blowing and interesting as I found it, i also realised it was depressing me and having a real effect on me and my life... so I quit ats for a while, in fact I quit all media, tv, internet, movies, even the radio - the lot.

it had a really good effect on me and lasted a few months. But what I also realised, with a bit of distance to all of my recent discoveries, was that I didn't want out of the rabbit whole or to go back to sleep, i want to progress on my journey - just not let it depress and scare me... after all love is all we need right.

So now I don't let it scare me and I try not to read too much or believe all I read and I take breaks from it, a week at a time.

Being awake is a good thing, being angry or scared isn't. i think this ride is about finding a mid ground - being aware but not swamping yourself in info and depressing yourself.

Reality is like spotting a blemish on someone's white shirt...once you see it, you can never not see it again.

My wife said the same thing about a month ago. I have been this way since before we met and maried...whenever I would say something, she would just roll her eyes in pity and smile.

About a month ago, a light bulb turned on for her. I came home from work and she was smoking heavily and looked shell shocked.

What's wrong baby? On the way home, she had passed numerous convoys of humvees...and was listening to the radio talking about China dumping our debt, and the economy, and Lybia...and she said it all started to seem so real...all of those things I had been generally "joking" about.

She then went on to confess actually digging into news and looking at what was going on in her field of work and administration and medicines and emergency exercisies she is involved with and it hit home... I wasn't quirky or eccentric...but awake and she was too...now.

Yup, she swallowed the pill big time...I no longer have to hide behind hurricanes and tornadoes to be prepared.

Free at last, free at last....

My personal warning would be to watch out for those who seek to take advantage of this feeling. They want to capitalise on those feelings of loneliness and fear and there are many here who claim to be awake, but have in fact just been roused into half awake, half asleep, and many of those people end up swapping one prison for another.

Be careful of groups and "leaders". There's absolutely nothing wrong with listening to people like David Icke and David Wilcox and Alex Jones. They have plenty to say that's worth listening to, but don't follow them. Don't hang on their every word. Don't swap one set of beliefs you never questioned for another. There have been several threads I've read over the years here with someone saying about how this speaker's views conflict with another, and they don't know who to believe.

Nobody has all the answers, all any of us has is a bit of the elephant that we're trying to define. Even those of us who have maybe stumbled onto something resembling the truth has trawled a load of garbage along with it. It's inevitable, there's lies everywhere. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water, and refuse to accept anything someone says just because you don't agree with some of it.

In the case of David Icke, a lot of people get completely put off because of his talks on the Queen being a lizard. Now, I don't know how honest David Icke is. I don't know how much of what he says is true, and how much is an intended deception, and how much is a deception handed to him that he's been suckered by. Same with all the rest of them. But that doesn't matter. You ought to be questioning Everything. Nothing should be taken on face value, and don't trust the internet, either to confirm or deny anything. Web pages are one of the easiest things in the world to create, and they can be created to confirm lies, or to cast doubt on someone who's speaking the truth.

If you truely are awake, then you've enough wit about you to figure out that you've been lied to. Use that wit. Use your own discernment and properly free yourself. Don't accept anyone else's truth. Find your own, it's the only truth that has any value. If you still need someone in a white coat to stand infront of a tv camera with a clipboard and confirm what happened on 9/11, or whether or not there's life in the universe, or whether or not the Elenin story smells fishier than Portavogie harbour, then you don't need to worry about falling back to sleep, because you never woke up.

Fear is the key. When human beings are in a state of fear, they herd. They're easier to control, easier to manipulate. When they have you fearing for your life, for the lives of your family, your children, your pet poodle, they can control you, predict your actions. If you're stocking up on expensive dried food and guns, you're acting out of fear, and you're behaving exactly how they want you to. You've just made yourself easy to spot. They know where you live. They know what you'll do when the do do hits the fan, and they're ready for you.

I don't know what's coming. I don't have a stockpile of dried food. I don't have guns. I don't have a bug out bag. I'm not yelling through the streets that the sky is falling down. But I've never been more ready for whatever's coming than I am now. I am not this body. I am not this crude, fleshy matter that withers and dies. I am an immortal being, I always was and I always will be. So bring it on, I've faced worse, and I will again. I'm awake, and I'm staying awake, and I'm not afraid.

thankyou to everyone that has posted back to my rant It worked wonders having a good old fashioned whine.
I decided today that what alot of you were saying in regards to directing my energy to the cause was exactly what is needed. Enough talk, it is time for action (Don't worry i'm not planning on going all postal worker) lol. But i have come up with a few ideas and will be posting pics and updates within the next week.
Being awake can be a lonely, confusing or way to harsh of a reality to exist in without the occasional kind words and support from others like ourselves.
The compassion and understanding that I have been shown by others on ATS today has been an inspiration and reminder of why we do what we do.

Thankyou all

Chooselove

reply to post by TheIrvy


wow man
that deserves an award

reply to post by chooselove


Op its quite simple, just stop visiting this site and the internet in general and turn your TV up loud and just let yourself be taken back in to the matrix over the next couple of days. This will all be nothing but a dream

reply to post by chooselove


That is exactly how I feel almost all the time! I get no sleep because all I can think about is all the crap in the world, some things that have nothing even to really do with me. I call it my "torture tank", and it is filled with images, thoughts, things that my mind has even dreamt up with just a slight fact and it is on a loop of negativity. I want to go to sleep too and never wake up, at least not until this world is over. I am terrified of what my child is going to have to endure when she is older and I feel that my generation and the generations after me have gotten screwed out of a real life because this world is just filled with selfish, callous, and malevolent people and we have destroyed this earth and all that it has to offer. Thank you for you post, it is always nice to know that I am not the only cynical realist in the world!

i feel the same way and was thinking the same thing the other day...

reply to post by showintail


Showintail

My generation coined the term "don't trust anyone over 30" and guess what. We trusted to many people UNDER 30.
What I'm saying is you are right about my generation, only, just watch your back.

reply to post by morder1


I understand.. I felt that way.... "wanna go back too" when I realized it was all fake, a joke and not even REAL..
BUT You are in your "anger and denial phase" that most of us went through... I felt betrayed by religion! Government! Society! Self... the list goes on.... You are here for a reason.. to learn something then to "go on"

Be GLAD you know and are awake ... check out magentapixie.weebly.com...