If the Titanic sank today, here's how the President, the media and Wall Street would spin it

Obama would say: that the ship started taking on water during the Bush Administration and that the long term forecast is that the Titanic will hit bottom and rebound in the third quarter of the year.

Sarah Palin would say: Titanic ??? isn't that somewhere in Africa.

reply to post by CynicalWabbit


lol..

They should of added a Sarah Palin one too..

"isn't that somewher in Africa"

too funny!

Hey OP-- this is fun! You've really gotten our creative juices flowing...

Obama runs on deck as the Titanic begins bumping into Icebergs: "We need to change course! Make me the Captain! Vote for CHANGE! We can do this! Yes We Can!!!"

The crowd cheers him to the helm. He then plows full steam ahead, aiming at iceberg after iceberg.

"No, no... these aren't collisions," he argues, "we're in a support role here... busting up rogue ice cubes!"

"Mr President, the Titanic is sinking, can we prevent it?"

Mr Obama "Yes we can."

"Mr Harper, the Titanic is sinking."

Mr Harper "What the hell's a titanic?

"Mr President, it's taking water like crazy...are you sure?

Mr Obama "Yes we can"

Mr Harper "What?"

"Mr President, we must act now !"

Mr Obama "Yes we can"

Mr Harper "Who?"

"Mr President, it sank..."

"Mr President?"

"Mr President???"

Mr Harper "the hell's a titanic??"



S&F for an hilarious thread !!!

reply to post by CynicalWabbit

reply to post by SonoftheSun


That my friend...

was epic...

after the sinking, they will send the wreckage to china
they don't want to make the evidence available, do they?

The banks: "Let's repossess the passenger's homes while they are distracted"

Osama Bin Laden: Looks like I'll get buried at sea after all...

Originally posted by majesticgent
Osama Bin Laden: Looks like I'll get buried at sea after all...

THAT...

was brillant !!!

Originally posted by baddmove
reply to post by TETRA.X

 

this quote scares me the most..

The teenage girl: Can I still text on my iPhone under water?

because it is so true...

Yes, almost every single one rings true, it did get kind of sloppy in the end though.

This one about the average American teenage girl is also scary to me, because it is so true.

Did you guys remember the story a while back on ATS? Like 2 girls who fell into some kind of sewer and got stuck in there.

They were each equipped with a smart phone and the first thing they did, instead of calling 911 or their parents, was to log on to FaceBook to post an SOS message.

Sometimes I think the 90's generation is completely destroyed by the MSM.

Yeah, I didn't find any of these funny; they all reek of the author trying way, way too hard.

Satire is better when it's a bit more subtle, comedy isn't about bludgeoning the audience to death (Dane Cook). That works a little but gets old quick.

That made me laugh.....I like it....The Al Gore part is good and I can vouch for the FEDs spending more money. My new job's contract is gov't.......We have the safety and discrimination inspectors coming by every day.....Big money on this one.

reply to post by baddmove


Great thread here, My favorite is "The Federal Reserve: We have decided to dump more water onto the ship in the hope of making it float." But I think the ATSer would have been a little different, more like this...ATS-ER: This is all very interesting and I have a couple of ideas of my own on whether or not it is sinking, but until one of the resident genius people here have said something I will stay quiet, as so not to risk looking like I can think for myself. HAHA

This is not every ATSer...just wanted to make that clear.

reply to post by baddmove


Great!!

Dont forget everyone involved in the building would be unilaterally extradited to the US even though they did nothing wrong!

It was pretty funny but also really sad because everyone can see the truth in it.

reply to post by Vandermast


Thanks for the reply..

I have to agree with you on that..

thanks..

ATSers: It's a hoax, there is no such thing as the titanic. It is all CGI.

Ron Paul supporters: We told you to let the free market run its course and not subsidize the final hull covering with government grants.

Alex Jones: it was the illuminati who sank the ship to eliminate competition to the big banks

David Icke: Reptiles sank the ship with a photon beam

Israel: Palestinians sank the ship

Palestinians: Israelis dressed as Palestinians sank the ship

CIA: We tried to infiltrate the ship to spread democracy but it suddenly began to sink as soon as our agents climbed on board.

FBI: We have no evidence that the ship sunk, and we will keep this message on our website for years to come.

NSA: We believe the hacker group TTYL in conjunction with ROTFLMAO sent a stuxnet virus onto the ship.

Liberals: The Koch brothers sunk the ship because they hate poor people.

NASA: we had some black and white footage of the ship sinking but we accidentally lost it

Vatican: God sunk the ship...no wait, it was the devil...no wait it was Jews...hold on get back to us.

Washington Post: The "Sovereign Citizen" brigade sunk the ship

Appreciate you sharing that.

reply to post by filosophia


Another great reply..

thank you filosopia